I HATE it when people hurt my kid.

[Bouncy Ball]

A friend of my daughter's at school told her about this classical concert going on tonight. She told her about it two weeks ago, and invited her to go with her. Her mom confirmed that it was ok. I talked to her mom on the phone. (Both girls are taking violin lessons and my daughter was really excited about this concert.)

So it's today. My daughter can't get hold of the girl. Left a message. Finally the dad answered and said "Oh I think they went out shopping, then they're going to some concert. I can call them and find out."

My daughter explained she was invited to go to the concert with the daughter and mom. He said he'd call the mom's cell phone and call us back. That was an hour ago. So my daughter just called again and the dad said "Oh yeah, they're going straight to the concert, sorry."

WTF?????? My daughter got off the phone in tears. I know I can't stop people from hurting her but DAMN. Assholes. No explanation, no "hey maybe next time" just leave her hanging and let her find out they ditched her like that.

Really hearbreaking part: she's been dressed up for an hour. She just went to go change her clothes.

[VelmaD]

1. Hit the mom on the head with a shovel...

roll her up in a tarp and throw her off a bridge. I'll even loan you a shovel. Hugs to your kid. :hug:

[Bouncy Ball]

8. LOL

well, maybe it's not that bad, LOL

We had this other family friend we're no longer in touch with who constantly told my daughter "hey we ought to do such and such tomorrow" (she was like a mother figure to her) and kids are very literal so the next day, my daughter would walk on down to her house and say she was there to do such and such, like she said!

Then the woman would blow her off and tell her she wasn't really being literal.

Then DON'T SAY IT, bay-otch.

[trof]

15. I second the shovel treatment.

jerks

[Bunny]

61. I'll third the shovel motion. And if you don't have one handy,

a sledgehammer would do the trick.

:grr:

[progmom]

2. That's terrible.

Really crappy. I'm angry on your behalf. Have they no compassion? Do they not think at all about the impact that has on your daughter?

Fuckers.

[ronnykmarshall]

3. That sucks.

Take her out and do something cool!

THEN my I suggest ...... flaming bag o' dog poop!

[Bouncy Ball]

9. I'm going to class tonight and my husband is coming home

from work exhausted.

I may take her to a movie this weekend. God that pisses me off. She's been talking about it every freaking day.

[Zuni]

69. Take your daughter out with 3 rolls of TP and a carton of jumbo eggs

that will cheer her up

[livinginphotographs]

4. Good god.

My opinion: all three of them sound like a bunch of dicks.

Just my opinion, of course.

[fertilizeonarbusto]

5. Give your daughter

this :hug: and tell her to go play her violin. She'll be surprised how good she sounds and how much better she feels afterwards. I've been there. What cruel dipshits!

[madison2000]

6. thats really kinda mean

and the parents dont seem to get it

[Left Is Write]

7. That is unbelievably, outrageously, inexcusably rude.

I'm very angry on your daughter's behalf.

[Padraig18]

10. What insesitive jerks!

:grr::argh:

Tell your daughter I'm sorry, and give her a hug for me, OK?

:pals:

[jeff30997]

11. So sad...

I think that your daughter's friend is a spoil brat.

[donheld]

12. That's very sickening

Why do people treat kids that way.

[NightTrain]

13. What's even worse is that some people keep doing that as adults.

If I had a dollar for every woman who's made a date with me and then stood me up.... :cry:

[Bouncy Ball]

16. I know, I hate adults who do that, too.

I just explained to my daughter "some people just don't act very nicely."

She said "Is it ok if I say a bad word?"

I was hesitant because I didn't know what she would say and she yelled "THAT SUCKS!"

LOL

I agreed. Inconsiderate people suck. Broke her heart, she was all dressed up two hours early and everything.

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

56. How old is she?

Am I a bad person if I suggest you teach her the word "FUCKWITS?"

[mordarlar]

76. lol my daughter asked me that during my divorce. Her curse was not so

innocent. But DAMN she felt better. : )

[JimmyJazz]

14. It just breaks my heart when people are mean to children.

I'm sorry :hug: to you and your daughter.

[Bouncy Ball]

17. Thanks.

I want to kick something. The lesson "sometimes people are jerks" isn't the one I was looking forward to her learning, though I know it's a valuable one.

[jeff30997]

19. Me too...

:pals:

[BrklynLiberal]

18. That is sooooo shitty. I totally understand. Do anything you want to me,

but DON'T HURT MY KID!!!! You would think another Mom would understand.
Can you take her someplace else to sort of make up for it?
EDIT: I see you have a class tonight. So sorry.
No consolation..but I guess this is a lesson about that "friend".
I hope this is the worst disappointment your daughter ever has to face in her life..right?
I know you will make this up to her this weekend.

[Bouncy Ball]

22. I have to go to class tonight and my husband is coming

home REALLY tired today. I wish he could take her, but his shoulder and arm are killing him (he needs surgery). He really needs to take a pain pill and lie down. Normally he could take her...

I'm going to take her to a movie this weekend or SOMETHING.

[faithfulcitizen]

70. Here's what I think I'd do....

find a *really* cool concert (better than the original one) and have your daughter invite another friend (or friends) that also likes to play or even just listen to music. She'd be over it in no time, and will replace it with an even more awesome memory. Just my thoughts. Good luck! :hug:

[LisaM]

20. I blame the parents - they sound terrible

It's bad enough that the mother went off with the daughter and didn't honor the commitment, but the father sounds even worse! Why didn't he call you back when he said he would? What is wrong with them?

[AlCzervik]

21. That mother should be flogged, how would her daughter

feel if you did that to her kid? Give your girl a hug from please, that whole thing just pisses me off.

[Flaxbee]

23. that happened to me a lot as a kid, thru high school, thru

college, and continued to happen to me on into adult life, some instances still make me squirm (esp. when I was old enough to show up on my own, only to find it was obvious they never meant for me to follow thru and actually take their invitation seriously!).

It hurts, especially as a kid. People are just insensitive shits, I hope your daughter knows deep down that it is absolutely no reflection on her worth as a person. I developed an incredibly thick skin (served me well as I went on to become a lawyer - lol) and never took it personally.

I would, however, have a little chat with the girl's mother, just between the two of you, mano-a-mano kind of thing. Neither your daughter nor her daughter need to know (though there is always the chance she'll tell her daughter you said something).

Poor kid. Give your daugher a hug for me.

[Bouncy Ball]

41. Happened to me a lot, too.

My dad used to cancel his weekend visitations with us because he had a date. There's nothing like sitting by the front door with your suitcase and Snoopy in your arms just waiting for your dad, only to have him call and cancel long after you and your brother have fallen asleep on the couch. Boy, my mom used to cuss him.

I developed a thick skin, too. It's about all you can do.

Thanks....

[Maddy McCall]

24. Hey, BB. Any chance you can get her to put her clothes back on...

And then take her out to a really posh restaurant and then maybe to a movie?

Make it a girl's night out.

I'm sorry about what happened. Kids can be really mean, but what's worse to me is when the parents not only condone but contribute to such meanness.

Give lil' BB a big ol' hug and take her out to do something special.

[Bouncy Ball]

34. I have class tonight or I would, believe me.

[Maddy McCall]

54. Make a date with her this weekend....

maybe a weekend trip with her somewhere. Hugs to you both. No one should be treated the way that your daughter was. :(

[GOPisEvil]

25. Awww...your kid is so cool, too!

She deserves better!

[Bouncy Ball]

32. Thanks, friend.

I appreciate that. She said "I didn't know I could enjoy a football party so much!" after your Superbowl get together. That made me laugh.

And really all she was doing was people watching.

[GOPisEvil]

35. I'm glad she enjoyed it!

There certainly were people to watch. *zipping lips*

[WI_DEM]

26. well the mother has no class and she is teaching her daughter

to be the same way. That is just plain rude and uncalled for (and I'm sure the dad is no better).

[WI_DEM]

27. accidentally duped

[fudge stripe cookays]

28. I would call the mother.

And say "If you don't plan on including my daughter in the plans you make with her, I'd rather you don't make the plans in the first place. This was very insensitive of you.

My daughter was crushed. I would think you, as a parent, would know better. Children are hurt very easily by this sort of thing."

FSC

[chookie]

29. That's rotten

Not only was your daughter invited, but you even further sealed the deal by talking to the b**** of a mother.

No excuses for these assholes.

I am further incensed by the "Dad" who was passing messages between the two families, and how totally fucking okay he was that his stupid wife and daughter blew your daughter off -- cruelly, with no notice at all. If it had been me, I would have read them the riot act, and made my stupid wife stay home and use her ticket for your daughter. I would have moved heaven and earth to get your daughter to that concert.

How can people be so ignorant and thoughtless and stupid? You know, I bet they're so stupid they will not even think it necessary to offer you an apology or explanation.

I feel so sorry for your daughter. This was a senseless heartbreaking experience for her that any reasonable person would be ashamed to have caused.

You give her a big big big big hug from me.

[Bunny]

62. Not only will they not think it's necessary to offer an apology or

explanation, they'll be pissed at Bouncy for pointing their rudeness out to them!

[WildClarySage]

30. Your daughter sounds like a sweet, brave little girl

and I echo what everyone else said about this being a really truly sucky mean thing to do.

{{{hugs}}} to her and to you, too. :hug:

[Bouncy Ball]

38. Thanks.

[JohnKleeb]

31. Thats fucking mean

I am sorry, people are assholes. I hate it when things like this happened.

[NightTrain]

Just out of curiosity, how old is your daughter?

I take it she's kinda young and hasn't had much experience with that kind of inconsiderate bullshit. Too bad things couldn't remain that way for her.

[Bouncy Ball]

37. She's 10.

And people have been pretty good to her in her life. We haven't shielded her, but she's been lucky, I guess.

:shrug:

[BrklynLiberal]

33. KARMA: What goes around comes around.

Either the concert will be cancelled or be terrible...or
Your daughter will have a chance to go to an even better concert...and guess who she WILL NOT invite.

[Book Lover]

36. Note to BB's daughter:

I am so sorry that your friend and her mom were rude to you. But you have two parents plus a WHOLE LOT of folks right here who are upset right alongside you, and we all hope that helps. :hug: When you see your friend tomorrow, don't let her get out of explaining to you what happened.

[Bertha Venation]

43. BB's daughter, I agree with Book Lover!

Don't let her get out of explaining herself to you!

:hug:

I took violin, too, but I wasn't ever very good at it. But I had a great teacher who told me, "Never practice -- just play your music." And he told me to do it in the bathroom, because the sound bounces off the hard surfaces and sounds really cool!

:bounce:

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

57. I suggest we call her Bouncy Marble (nt)

[Rabrrrrrr]

39. That totally sucks.

What an awful rude thing.

And I'm especially pissed off at the dad who apaprently couldn't be bothered to call you back and let you know your daughter wasn't going.

"Yeah, let me call the wife and find out. I'm not going to tell you, but I'll find out anyway."

Asshole.

Well, there is some consolation in that you are raising a child properly, while the other child has shit for parents and will likely grow up to be a selfish, evil fuckin' shrew bitch, and will find some asshole like her daddy, and make his life a living hell.

[Bouncy Ball]

40. LOL

I love it when you extrapolate. Thanks Rabrrrrrr.

Talk about feeling like a threatened momma bear, wow. Nothing like seeing someone make your kid cry.

[jswordy]

42. This is a great opportunty for you to impress...

...upon your daughter the importance of keeping her own commitments in life, so that she will not hurt someone else like they hurt her.

UNDER EDIT: It would also be a great time to explain to her the concept of forgiveness, and how when you forgive, it is a personally healing thing to do.

[Bouncy Ball]

45. Very good points.

Going to talk to her now, before I have to take off. Thank you.

[jswordy]

47. You are welcome. I hope it goes well.

[Pithlet]

44. How awful.

Thoughtless assholes.

[Magrittes Pipe]

46. That fuckin' sucks, BB.

Anybody hurts my girls, I want to set the bastards on fire. But then I'd get the chair.

They say discretion is the better part of valor. I'm glad you're handling it the right way. Your kid's lucky to have you for a mom.

[Kat45]

48. Too many people are like that--totally self-centered.

I was screwed by friends since before I was even in kindergarten, and it continued happening at times through my school years. It's harder when you're a nice kid, a nice person; it makes it harder to take and even harder to understand when you're not the kind of person who does things like that. I hope your daughter is not an extremely sensitive person; that how I am, and I would take it very personally when someone did that to me. Believe me, I still don't trust people very easily.

Adults do it too. When someone says "maybe we'll do (whatever) on Friday," I'd pencil it in and think we'd probably do it barring unforseen circumstances. I'd later realize that my 'friend' hadn't even thought about it again since she said it (though maybe she would have thought of it if she hadn't found something better to do). In your daughter's case, it sure sounded like a sealed deal and I think it is terrible what those folks did. I'd say those are very self-centered people.

[khashka]

49. God that's terrible

What a horrible thing to do to a little girl!

My advice?

Find something really cool and special to do with her. It won't take the sting out of this, but it will give her something to feel good about and remember with fondness.

Call the mom. Tell her how your daughter was hurt.

Remind your daughter that just because someone says they are your friend doesn't mean that they are. You know your friends by how they treat you not by what they say or promise. That's a hard lesson.

Most of all, reassure her that this has nothing to do with her and everything to do with them.

Khash.
(Seriously, do something really nice for her.)

[Misunderestimator]

50. That's just awful.. and unfortunately reminds me...

of a time when I was about 12... and had no friends, but a circle of girls who occasionally befriended me. Turns out that the occasions were when they had no parent to drive them somewhere... took me a while to figure that out. Happened when we were all going to a skating rink. My dad took us, but when we got there, I was left by myself. Kids can be rotten. (Not that it's the same with your daughter, it may have just been normal kid self-centeredness instead of anything more sinister.)

In any case, it's really nice to see a parent care about these kinds of experiences in their childrens' lives.

[xmas74]

51. Take her out this weekend.

Take her to a movie, an art gallery, high tea (I took a friend's daughter to one once when she was eight-she loved it!), anywhere that she can dress up and show off.
Kids are cruel and the mother is lucky that it wasn't my kid. Her ears would have been on fire-I would have met her in the lobby where the concert was being held! I can't stand that crap. My daughter's four and she has had to experience that already. They feel bad but you always feel worse.

[skygazer]

52. I would most definitely call the mom

People need to be called on this shit - they do it because they figure no one will say anything to them. She needs to be told straight up that she and her daughter had made a commitment to your daughter and they should have had the courtesy to either live up to it or call and cancel gracefully.

That's obnoxious behavior in a child but inexcusable behavior in an adult.

I'm about ready to go find 'em myself and give them a talking to! :grr:

[derby378]

53. Didn't something similar happen to her not long ago at school?

Honestly, you need to hook up with us at one of the FSC/reprehensor DU gatherings in Dallas. We'll keep a seat open for you!

[GoddessOfGuinness]

55. I'm not sure where you're located, but if you're in the DC area...

I'd be glad to get comps for you and your daughter to hear any of the concerts I play. I'm a freelance violinist, and it's a thrill for me to know about young people who are interested and involved in classical music.

I have access to complimentary and discount tickets in several nice venues around town. Send me a private message if you'd like more info.
:hug: for your daughter
:beer: for you

[Bouncy Ball]

74. Wow that's nice of you.

She just started taking lessons and is smitten with classical music and symphonies.

We're in Texas, but that was so sweet of you. I am writing a separate post with a happy update to this story.

[Arkana]

58. What an insensitive jagoff

Give your daughter that hug, then play "Flaming Bag O' Dog Shit". You know how that game goes, right? :evilgrin:

[barb162]

59. Not that it makes a difference to the outcome, but I bet

neither one of them remembers they invited your daughter. I have had this happen to me as an adult and child. In almost every case, the person forgot/ totally slipped their mind, etc they planned a get-together. The most recent time this happened was a few years ago with my best friend and I know she TOTALLY forgot the occasion.

This doesn't help your daughter, I know....
sorry Bouncy Ball

[Orangepeel]

60. that's awful! (but it might not be the kid's fault)

I'm sorry for your daughter. It is really rotten and the parents suck.

Just as a note of caution, it might not be the girl's fault (although it certainly could be). Her parents are obviously shits, and she might not have had control over whether or not they went straight to the concert or whether or not she was able to call your daughter.

[HEyHEY]

63. One thing I learned from my parents - is other parents are idiots

They seem to think you can make the same kind of decisions and moves with kids as you can with adults... to adultss you situation would be no big deal. But to a kid it's terrible.

What a cow

[Carni]

64. Invite the kid that did it to Disney World for the weekend

Bogusly...and then pull the same thing.

Call me a vindictive, rotten, person (and parent) but those are the types of people that jerk everyone else around, because no one ever gives them a dose of their own medicine and they are raising armies of idiots such as themselves.

In addition I would lay odds the parent's of the girl are bushit supporters.

[Rabrrrrrr]

65. So, how'd it end up, Bouncy Ball?

[fluffernutter]

66. unflippingbelievable. some people are so rude.

i HATE rudeness.

:hug: to your sweet girl and to you, it sucks to see them hurt.

[Skittles]

67. THAT'S THREE PEOPLES' ASSES YOU NEED TO KICK

THAT MOM, DAD AND DAUGHTER. Utterly atrocious, UNACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR. :grrr:

[Zuni]

68. Sounds like that whole family are a-holes

How could the whole family ditch your daughter like that

Just plain cruel and bizarre to boot. No reason at all for this. If they didn't want to take her, they could have called and made an excuse.

:grr:

[roguevalley]

71. Take your daughter to something wonderful and dressy, have the

conversation about how even DIPSHITS can look like nice people and be 'best friends' but they don't do this to each other if they're good people. These people aren't. Cut this cow out of your life. Hard lesson for your little baby. I hug her long distance.

[knitter4democracy]

72. Oh, wow.

I would totally call up the mom and ask her what the hell happened. She'll just give you some crazy answer, but it'll let her know that she can't do it again. I'm all for being up-front and honest with people, regardless of how they'll think about it. I mean, within reason, but she needs to know the consequences of her actions and that she owes you and your daughter an apology.

I called a mom from my daughter's pre-school to find out why she'd been giving me dirty looks and all, and it turns out she was mad at how my daughter had been playing with other friends instead of her daughter. Like I can control that, but anyway . . . She'd been saving it up or something since last fall and never called me or said anything to my face about it. Our husbands work together, for pete's sake! I had no idea there was any problem, as my daughter still talked about her daughter occasionally and acted like they were still friends. Gosh--it's like middle school all over again!

Call that woman up and let her know what happened. She owed both of you an apology.

[borlis]

73. I hate it when things like that happen.

I love my children dearly, but when things like this happen to them (and they do) it sometimes makes me wish I didn't have any kids. Last year when my son turned 8, we had a party for him and his friends at a local Chuck E Cheese. My older son who is 11 asked if he could bring a friend along. I called the Mom about 2 weeks ahead of time to make sure it was ok and so she would mark her calendar. She said it was fine. Sure enough, the day before the party I called her to tell her what time we would be picking her son up and she was just flabbergasted! She totally forgot and told her son he could stay by his Dad for the weekend. She was sooo sorry. So my 11 year old got the shaft big time.

[mordarlar]

75. Tell her to get dressed again and take her out. This can be a GREAT

date/w your daughter excuse. This has happened to my daughter. It hurts to see them hurt.

OOPs just read further. Cannot go out tonight.

[Schema Thing]

77. AAARRRGGHH!!!!

It's bad enough when kids pull rude shit on other kids. When adults assist their kids in pulling rude shit, it makes me blow a gasket!

I agree with others who say to turn it into something special for your kiddo. And encourage her not to invest any emotional energy into a friendship with this other kid. It's not about not-forgiving, it's about self respect and consequences.