How did I get such an overdeveloped guilt complex?

[Bouncy Ball]

If I buy something that is overly packaged, I feel guilty.

If I buy something expensive (and that's not often), I feel guilty.

The two times I've had a professional pedicure have been because:

1. My friend had a two for one special and needed me to get the deal, so it was half price for both of us.

2. My aunt paid for it as a Christmas gift.

I honestly don't think an OVER developed guilt complex is such a good thing, though a bit of it goes a long way. It makes me recycle, it makes me very careful about purchases, etc.

Sometimes I (honestly) wish I could be free of it for one day and just say "FUCK IT, IT'S ALLLLLL ABOUT ME TODAY!!!!!"

Anyone else have that problem? I jokingly blame the tiny bit of Puritan blood I must have in me. My husband wants one of those big plasma TVs. Fortunately neither one of us can bring ourselves to do it. He's just too tight with money (though he drools at them) and I keep thinking of how much that money could help people.

I know it SOUNDS good and for the most part, it is. It certainly keeps me from running down people in the street and taking candy from babies.

But honest to God, just for 24 hours, I'd like to be rid of it. Not so I could do bad things but so I could just ENJOY something that was just meant to be ENJOYED.

[davidinalameda]

1. blame your mother

I have the same "problem" but it has saved me from getting into some serious financial trouble

I love to shop and there have been times where I've dropped over $100 on books that I get around to reading like 4 months down the road

[Bouncy Ball]

5. As I said below,

I've taken things back so many times out of guilt it isn't even funny.

Now my trick is to just walk around the place with the items in my arms, cart, whatever, then put them back before I go. I felt like they were "mine" for a while.

Geez.

My mother was the ultimate consumer. She never felt an ounce of guilt in her life. I don't know where I got this. And I wasn't raised within ANY organized religion.

[davidinalameda]

10. then it's a reaction to your mother's spending

I love playing amateur shrink

[Bouncy Ball]

11. You might have been half-kidding

but I've often wondered about that. I've consciously tried to be the opposite of my mother.

[madison2000]

2. conservatives never feel guilt and they don't enjoy things

[Left Is Write]

3. Are you sure you're not Norwegian Lutheran?

;)

[Bouncy Ball]

4. I've read things about that culture

and Garrison Keillor's stuff and I SWEAR I was raised the same exact way.

That whole "don't be thinking too highly of yourself because you aren't special" thing. Nowdays that might be considered mean, but I think the humility in it is the key. Humility is underrated.

So I've got plenty of that (she brags, LOL!). And SHITLOADS of guilt complex. Geez, if I buy some fancy shmancy $6 a pound cheese (a sliver) at Central Market I feel like shit for buying it. I've taken non-food items back just out of guilt.

[fudge stripe cookays]

9. Or Catholic?

Think about it...it's even in the prayers!

"Lord forgive me for what I have done, for what I have left undone, for what I have yet to do...."

Is it possible to have a happy childhood like that?

FSC

[Left Is Write]

12. To clarify -

I was just joking. I am both Lutheran and of 100% Scandinavian descent, and I don't have guilt feelings because of either one of those attributes.

[fudge stripe cookays]

13. Sorry.

I misdirected.

I am EX Catholic, and was teasing BB about it. We are each familiar with our particular flavor of guilt as a reference point.

:-)
FSC

[Ellen Forradalom]

14. Or Jewish?

Our rabbi says, "There's no guilt involved in Judaism, and you should be ashamed of yourself for even thinking that!" :-)

[redqueen]

6. I have an insanely overdeveloped sense of guilt.

I find myself currently frozen into inaction on a specific issue because of it.

I agree that people should have a little, just to keep them from being obnoxious assholes... but what I go through, which based on your description is your situation to an exponential degree... that's just bad and wrong.

[Bouncy Ball]

7. YES!

Exactly what I'm talking about.

And have you ever done something that you know is wrong and it just EATS and EATS and EATS at you???

I littered once when I was about 22 in a parking lot outside of a Target. It bugged me SO damn much, I turned around, went back, found the damn gum wrapper, picked it up, then picked up two more items of trash as a "penance."

I swear.

[redqueen]

8. Oh yes, I certainly have.

The interesting thing is, it wasn't this bad before I had children. Now that I do, it's out of control.

Well, actually, that's not true. It was pretty bad, then, too... I would apologize to furniture for bumping into it. Apologize to sales people for 'bothering' them to ask questions, etc.

[tigereye]

15. hmmm

I was much more guilt - ridden before I had a kid. Now I'm too old and tired to be. I figure I deserve certain things and as long as I'm not breaking the bank or harming anyone, why not? Guilt can be useful to a point, but it's better to not let it spoil your enjoyment of life. After all you only get one life, so why not enjoy as much of it as possible?

ps. ex-Catholic here, too, but I have managed to unlearn some of the conditioning. I try to remember that I am no longer 6-8 years old, when much of our sense of shame and guilt seems to be forged ;)

[Ellen Forradalom]

16. I used to be guilt-wracked

Then one day I realized you just can't keep all those assholes in your life happy no matter how hard you try. Now I'm too pissed to care what other people think.