Best insult?

[WilliamPitt]

Go take a flying fuck at a rolling donut in a gravel driveway.

Yours?

[unblock]

1. republican!

[Debi]

MATCOM~~

[matcom]

5. ouch

:cry:

[Debi]

33. I thought you could take it

Sissyboy :grr:

[faithfulcitizen]

2. I always thought "Eat Shit & Die" was pretty good nt

[sui generis]

7. oh yeah???

well I have and I haven't

(had an accident in a microbio lab with a pipette and some raw sewage)

[faithfulcitizen]

44. O. M .G....sick! :)

[Arkana]

9. I always thought "Fuck Off And Die" had more punch

but I guess it's the user's prerogative.

[GOPisEvil]

3. Indifference.

[NuckinFutz]

4. That's what you get for thinking,

when you're not used to it.

[sui generis]

6. your mother was a hamster . . .

and your father smelt of elderberries!!!

Your grandmother's cunt smells of old grayhound farts. (translated loosely from French)

[MrScorpio]

8. One of my faves, when someone says,

"Let me give you a piece of my mind."

I come back with, "That's what I like about you, no matter how little you have, you're always willing to give."

[Radical Activist]

10. Aren't you from Boston?

hehe j/k

[jswordy]

11. The very best insult ever is Southern....

...and subtle, and only Southerners or those truly acculturated will even understand it.

"Well, bless your heart."

:headbang:

[MissB]

14. I'm not Southern

perhaps you could explain?

[kick-ass-bob]

17. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

You gotta have the look to go with it, too!

:7

[jswordy]

19. I knew SOMEONE would understand it. n/t

[uppityperson]

22. Very subtle, I like this.

what heart?

[Lars39]

47. LOL

Yes, indeedy. :D Hard to have a comeback to that, too.

[yvr girl]

12. For me, it's all about the 'Look' and attitude of disdain

The Look = I would insult you, but you're not worth the breath it would take to form the words, besides your cognitive powers are limited at best.

[Jessica]

13. When someone's being a real asshat,

I like to simply say, "There's something coming out of your nose" & walk away.

[Zenlitened]

15. Person 1 (snarkily): "You're the wind beneath my wings"

Person 2 (without missing a beat!): "Oh yeah? Well you're the wind beneath my cheeks!


I coulda died! :D

[Worst Username Ever]

16. Nice face.

[wideopen]

18. simple and direct

I use "ignorant fucker" sparingly but it is really quite an appropriate description of a lot of people.

[tjwmason]

20. For somebody who is 'up themself'

You're the sort of person who can tell the difference between a claret and a bordeaux.

It's cunning, and not that many people get why it's an insult.

[11 Bravo]

21. Go piss up a rope and suck on the wet end.

[democracyindanger]

23. That's what your mom told me in bed last night

Juvenile, but effective.

[WilliamPitt]

27. Ahhhhh, the Mom Joke

Always a crowd pleaser. :)

[VelmaD]

24. You're ugly and your mother...

dresses you funny. :)

[Joe Power]

25. Your mother goes to college!

That's my kids' current favorite, at least. ;)

[Padraig18]

26. "I'm sorry your mother's abortion failed."

"Did she try again, or just give up and decide to raise you?"

:evilgrin:

[VelmaD]

28. And don't forget the corollary to yours for women...

who tick you off...Go take a flying fuck at a rolling hot dog on a gravel driveway. :)

[Rambis]

29. Best one I have heard

You, pompous, stuck-up, snot-nosed, English, giant, twerp, scum-bag, fuck-faced, dickhead, asshole!

[Tektonik]

30. Bostonian

[Not_Giving_Up]

31. Maggot mucus

My best friend in high school came up with it...we were unable to determine much of anything else that was lower. Another favorite from that era was "penis wrinkle". Ah, we were so ladylike! :silly:

[RandomKoolzip]

32. "I met your mom last night. Great buncha guys."

My dad told me to use this one on any kid who tried to fuck with me. Thanks pop!

[underpants]

34. I heard this one coming from a comic to a heckler

Look I don't come down to the bus station and smack the d**k out of your mouth so don't bother me when I am working.

The greatest threat is

I will boil your bones in your children's blood.

[DrGonzoLives]

35. The Ultimate Flame

You swine. You vulgar little maggot. Don't you know that you are pathetic? You worthless bag of filth. As we say in Texas, I'll bet you couldn't pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the heel. You are a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a lawyer than be seen with you.

You are a fiend and a coward, and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you. You are a bloody nardless newbie twit protohominid chromosomally aberrant caricature of a coprophagic cloacal parasitic pond scum and I wish you would go away.

You're a putrescence mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon.

You are a bleating fool, a curdled staggering mutant dwarf smeared richly with the effluvia and offal accompanying your alleged birth into this world. An insensate, blinking calf, meaningful to nobody, abandoned by the puke-drooling, giggling beasts who sired you and then killed themselves in recognition of what they had done.

I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre, a malformity. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention you smell?

If you aren't an idiot, you made a world-class effort at simulating one. Try to edit your writing of unnecessary material before attempting to impress us with your insight. The evidence that you are a nincompoop will still be available to readers, but they will be able to access it more rapidly.

You snail-skulled little rabbit. Would that a hawk pick you up, drive its beak into your brain, and upon finding it rancid set you loose to fly briefly before spattering the ocean rocks with the frothy pink shame of your ignoble blood. May you choke on the queasy, convulsing nausea of your own trite, foolish beliefs.

You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You are grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you. Even sheep won't have sex with you. You are unreservedly pathetic, starved for attention, and lost in a land that reality forgot.

And what meaning do you expect your delusionally self-important statements of unknowing, inexperienced opinion to have with us? What fantasy do you hold that you would believe that your tiny-fisted tantrums would have more weight than that of a leprous desert rat, spinning rabidly in a circle, waiting for the bite of the snake?

You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease, you puerile one-handed slack-jawed drooling meatslapper.

On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go.

I cannot believe how incredibly stupid you are. I mean rock-hard stupid. Dehydrated-rock-hard stupid. Stupid so stupid that it goes way beyond the stupid we know into a whole different dimension of stupid. You are trans-stupid stupid. Meta-stupid. Stupid collapsed on itself so far that even the neutrons have collapsed. Stupid gotten so dense that no intellect can escape. Singularity stupid. Blazing hot mid-day sun on Mercury stupid. You emit more stupid in one second than our entire galaxy emits in a year. Quasar stupid. Your writing has to be a troll. Nothing in our universe can really be this stupid. Perhaps this is some primordial fragment from the original big bang of stupid. Some pure essence of a stupid so uncontaminated by anything else as to be beyond the laws of physics that we know. I'm sorry. I can't go on. This is an epiphany of stupid for me. After this, you may not hear from me again for a while. I don't have enough strength left to deride your ignorant questions and half baked comments about unimportant trivia, or any of the rest of this drivel. Duh.

The only thing worse than your logic is your manners. I have snipped away most of what you wrote, because, well... it didn't really say anything. Your attempt at constructing a creative flame was pitiful. I mean, really, stringing together a bunch of insults among a load of babbling was hardly effective... Maybe later in life, after you have learned to read, write, spell, and count, you will have more success. True, these are rudimentary skills that many of us "normal" people take for granted that everyone has an easy time of mastering. But we sometimes forget that there are "challenged" persons in this world who find these things more difficult. If I had known, that this was your case then I would have never read your post. It just wouldn't have been "right". Sort of like parking in a handicap space. I wish you the best of luck in the emotional, and social struggles that seem to be placing such a demand on you.

P.S.: You are hypocritical, greedy, violent, malevolent, vengeful, cowardly, deadly, mendacious, meretricious, loathsome, despicable, belligerent, opportunistic, barratrous, contemptible, criminal, fascistic, bigoted, racist, sexist, avaricious, tasteless, idiotic, brain-damaged, imbecilic, insane, arrogant, deceitful, demented, lame, self-righteous, Byzantine, conspiratorial, satanic, fraudulent, libelous, bilious, splenetic, spastic, ignorant, clueless, illegitimate, harmful, destructive, dumb, evasive, double-talking, devious, revisionist, narrow, manipulative, paternalistic, fundamentalist, dogmatic, idolatrous, unethical, cultic, diseased, suppressive, controlling, restrictive, malignant, deceptive, dim, crazy, weird, dystopic, stifling, uncaring, plantigrade, grim, unsympathetic, jargon-spouting, censorious, secretive, aggressive, mind-numbing, abrasive, poisonous, flagrant, self-destructive, abusive, socially-retarded, puerile, clueless, and generally Not Good.

[bugslsu9]

40. All I have to say is

Wow!!! That is the greatest insult in history. Now, can you say it all at once without missing a beat or letting the person you are insulting get a word in? Or do they just normally walk away mid insult. That would truly be a shame. But, I guess most of the insult would get lost on them anyways.

To you:toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast: :toast:

[faithfulcitizen]

45. hmm....mental note: don't get in a flame war with DrGonzoLives :)

:scared:

[DrGonzoLives]

36. Then there's Full Metal jacket

I think the best part of you ran down the crack of your momma's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress.

Or Bill Hicks:

Were you conceived with a weak sperm? Was your dad jackin' off when your mom just came and sat down in it?

[msanthrope]

38. DAMN IT!!! I was gonna post the FMJ quote!!!! n/t

[DrGonzoLives]

39. All your quote are belong to me

n/t

[njdemocrat106]

37. "May you live in interesting times"

An old Jewish curse.

[jdots]

41. I wouldn't use you for shade.

stolen from Judy Nylon.

[WMliberal]

42. I wouldn't piss down your throat if your heart was on fire.

[underpants]

43. You'll make a beautiful fossil

[BigBearJohn]

46. Were you born an asshole, or do you have to work hard at it?

[fishnfla]

48. Yeah, well...tell your friends I hate them too eom

[kodi]

49. "you ain't no william pitt."

.

[donheld]

50. Why don't you go call Hertz Rent a Friend

see if you can find someone who cares.

[Bariztr]

51. Used this one in college

During a particularly nasty argument during a Women's Studies Class I was taking I told that particular person "the next time you talk to me the only thing you will be saying is 'Do you want fries with that!'"

[Mz Pip]

52. You must have been a gas in high school

n/t

[fishnfla]

53. you're such a waste of skin.....