Least Qualified Authors Ever

[Arkana]

"A Guide To Public Speaking," by George W. Bush

"Tolerance In The Community," by Ann Coulter

"Resisting Temptation: How To Empower Yourself," by Michael Jackson

[Allenberg]

1. "Abstinence For Dummies" by Jenna Jameson

[Arkana]

14. This wins the prize for best ever.

;)

"A Guide to Kama Sutra: Making Your Sex Life More Invigorating," by John Ashcroft

[Left Is Write]

2. Guide To Public Behavior For The Demure Girl by Britney Spears

[Left Is Write]

3. "Making Marriage Last" by Larry King

[CubsFan1982]

4. How to Win Gracefully, by George W. Bush

[Left Is Write]

5. "Ethical Politics" by Karl Rove

[Reverend_Smitty]

6. "Bodybuilding the old fashioned way" by Jose Canseco

[JohnKleeb]

8. that would be an interesting read

Building a team with little money by George Steinbrenner.

[hvn_nbr_2]

78. Including a foreward by Ahnold. n/t

[Left Is Write]

7. "The Elegance Of The Understated Heiress" by Paris Hilton

[Itascapark]

47. Oh, I do love that one so. n/t

[Left Is Write]

9. "Build More Brain Power" by Mike Tyson

[Damien]

53. by getting hit a lot?

[CubsFan1982]

10. A Treatise on the Causes of Ethnic Conflict in Nigeria by Jessica Simpson

[JohnKleeb]

Does she even know what Nigeria or ethnic cleansing is

Gay Tolerance many stories by fundamentalist ministers.

[CubsFan1982]

25. I don't think she could locate Texas on a map...

With a flashlight, pointer, and someone yelling "Texas is right there!!!" Not quite that smart.

[progmom]

17. Hey - I wrote a paper on that in high school.

Strangely enough. :shrug:

[Rabrrrrrr]

11. Directing the Art House Movie: A Guide by Ron Howard

[donheld]

29. A Man's Guide To Good Hair by Ron Howard

:evilgrin:

[GreenPartyVoter]

44. Hey, now. Opie may not do art house films, but some of his flicks were

quite enjoyable. :^)

[Rabrrrrrr]

72. No they weren't

They weren't awful, but they were as tediously mediocre and bland as it is possible to make a movie without making it awful.

[Jack Rabbit]

12. Earning Your Way in Life by G. W. Bush

!!

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

13. Dick Cheney: "Classical Ballet Technique"

[Art_from_Ark]

15. "Win Big in Vegas" by Bill Bennett

"Protecting the Constitution" by Team bu$h

[Rabrrrrrr]

16. How The World Works by A Liberal Arts Major

[progmom]

19. Hey now!

[Rabrrrrrr]

23. Well, it's true, and you know it!!

And I know it because I was an engineering major with a minor in liberal arts, and then later a masters in a liberal arts related field.

I know from what I speak. "How the World Works" by A Liberal Arts Major is not a book I'm gonna read.

But I'll still listen to your jazz show, absolutely!

[progmom]

26. I actually majored in "arts management" w/ a minor in marketing

But most of my friends were liberals arts majors.

My husband's undergrad degree? General Studies.

I didn't even know that was an option!

[Hardrada]

30. Some of us have read Machiavelli, Nietzsche and Hitler, also

Lord Acton, Herbert Marcuse, yes, and even Leo Strauss.

[Left Is Write]

18. "Fashions For The Avant Garde" by Laura Bush

[Reverend_Smitty]

20. "Clean Living" by Rush Limbaugh

[solinvictus]

21. "Thought and Reason: A Guide to Western Intellectual Traditions"

by George W. Bush. Also by this author:
"Diction, Grammar, and Rhetoric: A Primer"
"The Geography, Customs, and Ethnography of Continental Europe"
"Mathematics and Statitics"
"Macroeconomics and American Domestic Policy"
"Education and Growth: The Long Term Economic Benefits of Universal Education"
"On War: The Primacy of Effective Intelligence in Modern Conflict"

[Left Is Write]

22. "Understanding Psychiatry Today" by Tom Cruise

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

24. Paul Wolfowitz: "Beauty Tips For Hair Care"

With an entire chapter on beauty tips for proper use of combs.

[Dukkha]

27. "Harmonious Living within The Community" by Sam Walton

"Living Humbly Through Christ" by Jerry Falwell (forward by Pat Robertson)

"Zen & The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance" by Paul Tuttle Sr

[Shadowen]

28. "Fine Debate Technique"

By any president or presidential candidate since JFK.

[SmileyBoy]

31. "How to Make Friends in International Politics" by Richard Perle

[TyeDye75]

37. I hate that bastard

[jmm]

32. Advanced Vocal Techniques by Ashlee Simpson

Democratic Party Platform by Zell Miller
Animation 101 by the producers of Tom Goes to Mayor

[theorist]

33. "Ethics and Journalism" by Jeff Gannon

Ghostwritten by James Guckert and a bunch of uncited authors.

(I'm really just writing this to show off my new sig line.:))

[HEyHEY]

34. How to make people laugh - Ben Stiller

[GreenPartyVoter]

43. Really? Don't like Ben? *g*

[Frozen Hamster]

35. Free Media and Business Ethics in Media Today -- by Silvio Berlusconi

The Importance of Loyalty & Patriotism -- by Vidkun Quisling, foreword by Knut Hamsun

[KitchenWitch]

36. "Dressing Modestly" by Christina Aguilera

[TyeDye75]

38. Building bridges...by Tony Blair

[hvn_nbr_2]

79. "Selling Bridges"...by Dumbya

[Arkana]

39. kick for morning crowd...

[JimmyJazz]

40. "The Art of Conversation" - Bill O'Reilly

[GreenPartyVoter]

41. "Pluralistic Universalism is God's love in Evidence" by Jerry Falwell

[ChoralScholar]

42. "Ethics and Classroom Management" by Mary Kay LeTourneau

[GreenPartyVoter]

45. Nominating this thread. This is one of the funniest ones I have ever read

here at DU, and that's sayin' something!

[Arkana]

55. Oh, thank you!

And for Futurama fans:

"A Guide To Advanced Human Anatomy," by Dr. John Zoidberg

[JimmyJazz]

46. Hotel Management - by Keith Moon

posthumously released,of course

[regularguy]

48. 'Chicken Soup for the Soul,' by Pat Buchanan

[izzybeans]

49. "Thoughtful Observations"- George W. Bush

"A Father's Love for Children" Dick Cheaney

"10 Steps to a Better You" paul Wolfowitz

"Chicken Soup for the Soul" Don Rumsfield ahh foiled by previous post_I'll go with "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" then

"A Civil Action" Alberto Gonzalez

"Punch Drunk Love" George W. Bush (Oh wait this one might fit)

"The Diplomat's guide to Conflict Resolution" Condoleeza Rice, Richard Perle, John Negroponte et al.

"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego" joint-committee author (CIA, FBI, and White House)

"Lady Chatterley's Lover" Laura Bush

"Miss Manners' Hosts a Cocktail Party" Babs Bush Jr.

"A Father's Touch" George H. W. Bush

"Modernity and the Holocaust" Prescott Bush

"My Life" J D Guckert

"A Christmas Carole" Joe Lieberman

"The Open Society" John Ashcroft

"The Crying Game" Ann Coulter

"The Jungle" Tom Delay, with Bill Frist

"Gray's Anatomy" Bill Frist

[Momgonepostal]

50. Chaste Living, by Wilt Chamberlin

[Momgonepostal]

51. Political Loyalty: remaining true to your party, by Zell Miller

[mcscajun]

52. "International Diplomacy: Who Needs It?" by John Bolton

:grr:

[HEIL PRESIDENT GOD]

54. "Raising Ethical Sons" by George H.W. Bush

[gordianot]

56. "Creditable Threat Assessment," by Condolezza Rice

[auburngrad82]

57. "Compassionate Conservatism" by Dick Cheney

"War for Dummies" by Donald Rumsfeld

"God Loves Everyone" by Fred Phelps

"Good Government" by George W Bush

[Maraya1969]

58. "How to get on top of the big stories" by Jeff Gannon

[hvn_nbr_2]

80. How to "Top" the Big Stories...by Jeff Gannon

Volume 2: How to Top the Biggies

[Maraya1969]

59. "How to make a sponge puppet" by Dr. James Dobson

[gordianot]

60. "Empowering Voters" by J Kenneth Blackwell

[Arkana]

61. This has gotten more responses than I ever imagined...you guys

are all closet comedians! :P

[auburngrad82]

62. "An Ethical Life" by Tom DeLay eom

[gordianot]

74. "Slaying the Gerrymander in the 21st Century" by Tom Delay

[Greyskye]

63. "Nude Portrait Techniques" by John Ashcroft

[Greyskye]

64. "Songwriting Made Simple" by John Ashcroft

[Joe Chi Minh]

65. "An appreciation of the Life and Works of Noam Chomsky

by George Prescott Bush".

"The Law of Moses concerning Treatment of the Wayfarer, the Poor Man and the Stranger in your Midst" by Joseph Liebrmann (with a foreword by Newt Gingrich).

"Under Fire in Vietnam : I Was That Soldier" by George W Bush.

"New Democrats, Old Carville", by No-one.

"Marital Love and Loyalty: Strong as Death, Crueller than the Grave" by Newt Gingrich. (Well the second part fits).

"Badass Gridiron" by Woody Allen. (Saw "Broadway Danny Rose" again last nicht. Fantastic. Mia, too)

"Advanced String Theory" or "How to Knot a Lassoo" by George W Bush

A Spiritual Trilogy by George W Bush:

"My Prayer Breakfasts with Jeff Gannon",
"Jeff Gannon: A Study in Republican Sprituality"
"Restoring Old-Fashioned Values to the White House".

"I taught Peter Falk to Shoot Pool" by Karl Rove.

[Borgnine]

66. "Feline Fancy: A Guide For Cat Lovers" by Bill Frist.

[Cocoa]

67. "Why we fight" by Bill "Grad school deferment" Bennett

[T Town Jake]

68. "Voting for Dummies," by Katherine Harris

(n/t)

[nashville_brook]

69. "Human, All Too Human," by Dick Cheney

[Beaverhausen]

70. Who's Looking Out for You by Bill O'Reilly - oh wait!

he really did write that. :eyes:

[LynneSin]

71. Good Hair Grooming by Paul Wolfowitz

:eyes:

[Rabrrrrrr]

73. The Suffering Servant Archetype: Foundation Of American Economic Polemic,

An Exploration Into Its Usage In American Political Discourse and Effect on Economics During the Civil War and Into Reconstruction, in Dialogue with Rene Girard's "Violence and the Sacred", by Shrubbie

[Mich Otter]

75. "Intelligence Matters", by George Dumb?Yeah! Bush

[Arkana]

76. What the hell...a hearty kick!

[solinvictus]

77. More titles for the book club..

"Iraq: The Triumph of Economic Sanctions" by Paul Wolfowitz
"Unto the Least of These: Human Charity in Action" by Jerry Falwell
"Where on Earth is Osama Bin Laden?" by the CIA/Department of Homeland Security
"Fear and Loathing in West Pakistan: My Adventures in the Hills and Other Tales" by Anonymous
"Smoke 'Em Out: How We Outfoxed Osama Bin Laden" by George W. Bush
"Paper Tiger: An Assessment of Iraqi Conventional Forces" by Richard Perle
"Roads Paved With Flowers: The Liberation of Iraq and Establishment of Democracy" by George W. Bush
"Iran's Not Iraq: A Comparative Study in Geography and Ethnography of the Persian Gulf" by George W. Bush
"Chicken Soup for the Great Satan" by Osama Bin Laden

[Lisa]

81. "Building International Consensus through Diplomacy", by George W. Bush

And the companion volume, "The Responsive Public Servant".

Turning out to be quite the prolific author, isn't he! I hear he's also working on "Kyoto Compliance in Five Easy Steps".

I'd also like to nominate "Warding Off Peril -- Keeping America Safe By Defusing the Terrorist Threat", by the outstanding team of Bush, Wolfowitz, Cheney, and Rice (published January 2001).

[BuyingThyme]

82. AN END TO EVIL by David Frum and Richard Perle

...funnier than fiction.

[NoSheep]

83. "How to Make Use of Adverbs" by Ernest Hemmingway

Count 'em! There aren't any!

[NoSheep]

84. "Love Thy Neighbor, But Don't Get Caught" by Marquis de Sade

[NoSheep]

85. "I'm Getting This Reply Thing Down" by NoSheep

[Gogi]

86. The Wit and Wisdom of John Ashcroft, edited by Porter Goss

eom

[Gogi]

87. Exercises in Logic, by Ann Coulter.

With a foreword by Michelle Malkin.

[Gogi]

88. 501 Pork Recipes, by Osama Bin Laden

Dealing with Sensitive People, by Michelle Malkin.

Interpersonal Relationships, by Carly Fiorina.

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

89. "Advanced Tumbling And Gymnastics" by Stephen Hawking

[ralps]

90. "Why I love Internment camps" by Michelle Malkin witha forward by Ann

Coulter:evilgrin: :bounce: :hi:

[Momgonepostal]

110. That's actually a title I wouldn't be surprised to see

[dxstone]

91. Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Martyr! by Rush Limbaugh

[dxstone]

92. "Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex*, by John Ashcroft

"(but we're afraid to ask!)

[dxstone]

93. "The Good Son" by George Herbert Walker Bush

[dxstone]

94. Fight Club" by Pee Wee Herman

[dxstone]

95. "The Art of War" - Rumsfeld, Perle, Feith, et al.

[dxstone]

96. "Winning Thru Intimidation" by Woody Allen

[dxstone]

97. "A Day in the Life of Anna Nicolezhenitsyn" - author unknown

[CoffeeCat]

98. "How to Make Love to a Woman" by Ken Mehlman

[NewJeffCT]

100. LOL, with the forward by Lindsay Graham?

[CoffeeCat]

101. "Growing Up With a Brilliant, Sober Daddy" by Barbara and Jenna Bush

[NewJeffCT]

99. "Honesty on Radio" by Rush Limbaugh

or Sean Hannity, or Bill O'Reilly, or Savage, or Ingraham, or...

[NewJeffCT]

102. "Tough Guy Conservatives" by George Will

[NewJeffCT]

103. "Ethics in Business" by Ken Lay

[Name removed]

104. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules.

[LibDemAlways]

105. The Benefits of Military Service by R. Limbaugh,

forward by P. Wolfowitz and B. Kristol

[gordianot]

106. "Keeping a Beautiful Mind while Maintaining Sensitivity"by Barbara Bush

[gordianot]

107. "Avoiding the Family Cycle of Substance Abuse" -Jenna and Barbara Bush

[Arkana]

108. another kick, just to see if this has any more in it

[HEIL PRESIDENT GOD]

109. Lose Weight and Feel Great by Dick Cheney

The Ultimate Sex Pistols Fan Book, by John Ashcroft
Succeed through Charm and Wit, by Ari Fleischer
Winning in the Court of Public Opinion, by OJ Simpson, Scott Peterson, and Michael Jackson
Health and Beauty through Macrobiotic Living, by Michael Moore

[Beaverhausen]

111. "My Tips for Safe Driving" by Laura Bush

[NewJeffCT]

112. "Great Minds of the Right"... a very thin book

Authored by William F. Buckley.