Saturday night humor

[mac56]

This guy goes to the dentist to get a tooth pulled. The dentist says, "I'm going to give you a shot to numb your jaw."

"No, please don't do that," says the guy. "I'm afraid of needles."

"OK," says the dentist. "I'll give you some gas to put you to sleep."

"No, please don't do that," says the guy. "I'm allergic to the gas."

"OK," says the dentist. "Just a minute, I'll go look for something else." He steps out of the office and returns with a couple of pills.

"What kind of pills are those?" asks the guy.

"Viagra," replies the dentist.

"Viagra?!" exclaims the guy. "How will those help?"

"Well," says the dentist, "they won't help the pain, but they'll give you something to hang on to while I pull your tooth."

[madison2000]

1. That's cute! Here's some more

The Schit Family History is finally revealed.

Many people are at a loss for a response when someone says

"You don't know Jack Schitt!"

Read on and you'll be able to handle the situation intelligently.

Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, a partner of Kneedeep & Schitt, Inc.

Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeply religious couple begat 6 children: Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins, Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her parents' wishes, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout.

After 15 years of marriage, Jack & Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married a Mr. Sherlock, and out of devotion to her children, decided to hyphenate her last name, and became Noe Schitt-Sherlock.

Dip Schitt married a woman named Loda Dung, who became Loda Schitt. The couple produced a nervous son, Chicken Schitt.

Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, inseperable thoughout childhood subsequently married the Happens brothers. The local newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding, which was quite an event. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He returned from his travels with his Italian bride, Piza Schitt.

So, now if someone says "You don't know Jack Schitt", you can beg to differ. You not only know Jack Schitt, but everyone on the Schitt list!