The Government Is Listening To And Erasing My Voicemail Messages!!

[arwalden]

I know it because there have been absolutely NO voicemail messages for the past two weeks!!! It must have been because of something I wrote here on DU. I know it!

It started off last month when I would hear my phone ring and I decide not to answer it... and just let it roll over to voice mail. But... then... NO VOICE MAIL MESSAGE! Weird, huh?

Normally, after someone leaves a voicemail message, my caller-ID screen displays the words "message waiting" so I'll know to call in and listen to my messages. But the government is FAST! They intercept the message and delete it BEFORE my caller-ID box is able to receive the signal letting me know that there's a message waiting.

Recently they have started intercepting the RING itself!! The G-men are so good, that they don't even let the call come through. This happens DOZENS of times a day when the phone doesn't ring.

THERE! Even as I type this, the phone is NOT RINGING again! Someone is trying to call me right now and it's going over to voice mail so that the government guys can listen to it and delete it.

Sometimes I'll pick up the phone at random times during the day, and you can hear them on the end of the line. I'll catch them by surprise and there's like this half-second of silence where you can hear them breathing. When they realize I've picked up the phone, they try to turn on the dial-tone sound as if everything is normal and nothing has happened. But I know better.

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON??? How can they do this to an innocent citizen??? I've done nothing wrong!

[lazarus]

1. I know

I call you every 15 minutes, but I usually get some guy named Alberto and he wants to know who I am and what my addres is.

:shrug:

[Radical Activist]

2. hehehe

That's funny.

[Tsiyu]

3. Call your voice mail provider

maybe something is wrong with your phone?

Not doubting your theory, but if you have service through a phone company (VM) I would check with them first....

[Eagle_Eye]

4. When was the last time you payed your phone bill?

[radwriter0555]

5. They're not really. They're watching you through the cable in your teevee

set.

They can watch everything you do and listen to everything you're saying. And when you're on the computer, they can log everything you type.

I'm sorry.

[flamingyouth]

6. I just left a message saying your water was disorganized.

I hope you at least got that one - for your own sake! :7

[arwalden]

15. SEE WHAT I MEAN?? It's Gone! Deleted!

Now I'm worried about what I should do about my disorganized water. What causes this? Are they putting some sort of water disorganizing valve in the line before it enters my house? A reverse negative polarity magnet installed on the outside of the water main?

I don't drink tap water... but I do bathe in it. And I do flush with it. I wonder what long term effects this might have on the Chesapeake Bay's crab and oyster population.

DAMN THEM ALL! DAMN THEM ALL TO HELL!!

[OKNancy]

7. BWHAHAHAHA

That is all, just bwhahahaha.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

8. That happened to me. Oddly enough it stopped happening after I stopped

going to the tanning bed.

[CanuckAmok]

9. It's not the Government, it's Tabitha Stevens.

Just one wiggle of the li'l nose, and *POOF!*, there go your calls.

[ProfessorGAC]

10. No Allen. That Was Me!

I have control over ALL telecommunications on this planet. Ha ha ha! Puny humans!
The Professor

[The Magistrate]

11. You Know, Sir....

"I woke up this morning, and found everything I owned had been stolen, and replaced with an exact duplicate...."

[arwalden]

12. Oh My God... That Happened To Me Last Month.

I didn't want to say anything because I was afraid that someone might think I was nuts. Thank you for confirming it.

[Susang]

14. That was my doing

I apologize. I am deeply sorry. :-(

[ohiosmith]

13. No we are not. And we'll judge how innocent you are if you've done any

wrong. Isn't it time for your nap?