If you could change Gender, what would be the first thing you do?

[trumad]

I'd shop.

[name not needed]

1. Locking

No sex threads.

[Mr.Green93]

2. a train

[sniffa]

48. choo-choo

aLL aboard! :evilgrin:

[Book Lover]

3. Walk out into the world

and see how men have it better.

on edit: Oh, and I'd definitely find some snow to write my name in.

[chemp]

4. masterbate all day

then find a lesbian bar

[Skittles]

5. get a pay raise

nt

[FizzFuzz]

9. You got dat right! Also, see what it feels like

to not be constantly sabotaged by your own body. And see what it feels like to not be judged by your looks.

And, see how it feels to go to movies or watch TV or read a magazine and be reinforced as strong, smart and in control--and not have to be sexed up all the time in order to be acceptable.

And, last but not least, see what it's like to go places alone and not feel physically endangered.

[Skittles]

20. all that, plus piss up a rope

:D

[FizzFuzz]

41. I hesitate to say "it pisses me off..." but,

it has always pissed me off that taking a leak, as a woman, is such a pain in the ass.

:P

[Skittles]

23. man, that baby hippo

they're gonna move him in with a lonely female hippo but they're gonna take the turtle with him at first so as not to freak him out too badly

[FizzFuzz]

44. I think the turtle is his mama, so guess she's gonna be checking

the new date, make sure she's good enough for "her boy" ;)

[Skittles]

68. that baby hippo needed a momma so bad

he made sure he got himself one; the story is incredibly sweet all the way around :)

[FizzFuzz]

69. this makes me want to draw a cartoon about the mama tortoise and the baby

hippo!

Well, I'm on break this week--mayyybe I'll get up off my lazy ass and do it, plus figure out how to use the digital camera and post it!

Oo..eeee...ahggh, it's sounding like alot of work already!!!

[UdoKier]

24. LOL! Not judged by our looks! LOL!

That's a good one!

Put me in a room with ten women and George Clooney. I guarantee NONE of the women will talk to me.

[Skittles]

28. that's a specific incident

not an every day occurrence. For example, most male talking heads on TV are not f***ing stud muffins.

[UdoKier]

54. That's only because they are supposed to be "Authoritative"

But you don't see Steve Buscemi types reading the news, do you? A certain level of handsomeness is a prerequisite.

Besides, Candy Crowley, Judy Woodruff & Greta Van Sustenance anren't exactly hotties.

Local news has a lot more bimbettes in general, but they also have more stud muffins (depends on market).

Men are CONSTANTLY judged on their looks, not to mention virility and athleticism. Only someone who has never been a man would be so ignorant as to suggest otherwise.

As a matter of fact, it probably accounted for at least a little of Bush's "vctory" over Kerry. Kerry is gaunt' lanky, not especially attractive. Bush, despite his chimpishness, had a sort of conventional handsomeness, more athletic build, etc. - Shallow people take shit like that into account when they vote.

Remember short ugly duckling Dukakis vs. tall, Patrician Bush Sr,? Or handsome, tall Bill Clinton vs. dour, gloomy looking Bob Dole?

I will grant that we're not scoped out for our "packages" the way that women's curves are constantly ogled, but we're not immune from being judged on appearance. And nowadays, you're almost expected to go to the gym regularly...

[FizzFuzz]

56. Iresent being called ignorant. And any look at media of any sort will

show a great variety of men, in terms of looks, weight, age, personality...but women are cut from one mold. Rock stars or other musicians? One "average" looking woman I can think of had to start her own company because she wasn't hot enough, regardless of her talent: Missy Elliot. Any men of great talent ever meet with resistance based on looks alone? How many butt-ugly men get the public eye, and without contemptuous commentary? (Of course, money makes it easier--men are judged on their power or specifically, money.) But do you seriously think women, no matter how imposing their intellect or talent, get the same acceptance? Men may be judged on such superficialities, I can't deny it, but the window of approval for women is much MUCH smaller. And, the negativity a woman faces for not being "a hottie" is much more open. I think a man would have to look like the elephant man in order to get an idea of the walls that people put up in reaction to an unattractive or older woman.

[UdoKier]

63. A woman who is a '5' can become a '9' with the right hair and makeup...

But take an ugly guy, gel his hair (if he has any) send him to the gym every day, and you've got an ugly buff guy with gelled hair.

Women do enjoy some advantages in this department. I wish I could gloss over my (many) imperfections with makeup, girdles, hose, etc. sometimes...

[FizzFuzz]

67. lol...you have a point

but still, I believe the finger of looks/ageism points most harshly at women. It matters more that a woman might be able to up her number than it does for a man.

But hey, there is one easy (*ahem*) solution for men--become a millionaire. Or a hard livin' famous rock star. You'll have more chickies than you know what to do with. So what's easier, multiple plastic surgeries (for women), or the look of money/danger (for men)?

[fleabert]

33. hell yah sister...

[tigereye]

58. you know though, I kind of wonder if

being a guy for a day would be all that it's cracked up to be. I suspect there are some guys who feel similarly to the way we women do.That it can be just as uncomfortable in a guy's body as in a womans. That's what my husband says anyway. He's 6'4" and people always wanted to fight with him just because he was so tall. One time he walked into traffic to avoid a fight with drunken yahoos.

just a thought.

[FizzFuzz]

61. I admit to having a big bias in this department...

one time a guy here did talk about men getting outright insults from women, that my assumption was too one sided. I didn't get to reply either, darn it...it was an eye opener to see that my perceptions aren't totally true.

That being said, I still think it's a fact that sexism slants largely against women.

[Misunderestimator]

6. You don't want to know...

or maybe you do...

[CubsFan1982]

7. Scream.

And ask why God had made me such an ugly woman. :P

[Bok_Tukalo]

8. Take over the world

Men are so stupid.

[Magrittes Pipe]

10. I can't decide.

[Anarcho-Socialist]

11. The female orgasm

[SmileyBoy]

25. EXACTLY. Just what I was gonna post.

:evilgrin:

[Skittles]

27. I'm guessing you're talking about the REAL ones

:D

[SmileyBoy]

31. Yeah, the multiple ones...

Us guys only have one chance. We shoot our wad, and that's it.

You girls have it lucky, though.:D

[Bouncy Ball]

12. Hit people with my penis.

A lot.

Pee standing up.

Have sex with a woman. Masturbate.

Fun things like that.

[Seabiscuit]

13. Get nekkid

[Ariana Celeste]

14. Well...

seeing as that would mean I would get a penis...

I would prance around naked in my apt., dancing, doing some kind of jig, twirling my manly manhood round- and then I would pee. I always wanted to do that standing up, outside, on a tree, in the snow, what have you. It looks so much fun!

:)

[regnaD kciN]

35. ...which only brings to mind...

...this classic from '80s era Seattle band Uncle Bonsai (sung, obviously, by the two women in the group):

PENIS ENVY

If I had a penis, I'd wear it outside,
In cafes and car-lots with pomp and with pride.
If I had a penis, I'd pamper it proper,
I'd stay in the tub and use me as a stopper.
If I had a penis, I'd take it to parties,
Stretch it and stroke it and shove it at smarties.
I'd take it to pet shows and teach it to stay,
I'd stuff it in turkeys on Thanksgiving Day.

I'd rival my buddies in sportscars and stickshifts,
I'd shower my spire with girlies and gifts.
I'd peek around corners,
I'd aim at my toilet,
I'd poke it at foreigners,
And soap it and oil it.
If I had a penis, I'd run to my mother,
Comb out the hair and compare it to brother,
I'd lance her, I'd knight her, my hands would endulge.
Pants would seem tighter and buckle and bulge.

(chorus)
A penis to plunder, a penis to push,
Cause one in the hand is worth one in the bush,
A penis to love me, a penis to share...
To pick up and play with when nobody's there.

I'd sit like a guy, I'd straddle the chair,
I'd play with my fly, albeit with care.
I'd dip it in chocolate, I'd stick it in sockets,
Go to the movies with hands deep in pockets.
I'd stick it in vacuums on vacant verandas,
Gas-guzzling bottles and poodles and pandas,
And puddles and drain pipes and doggies and ditches,
Poolhalls and potholes and bottles and bitches...

Zucchinies and zebras, tomatoes, tomahtoes,
And pineapples, pumpkins, and gulches, and grottos,
And melons and marshmallows...

Gloves and gorillas...
Slurpies and slippers...
Chinooks and chinchillas...

(repeat chorus)

If I had a penis, I'd climb every mountain.
I'd force it on females,
I'd pee like a fountain...
If I had a penis, I'd still be a girl,
But I'd make much more money and conquer the world.

[RadicalMom]

36. OMG! That's hysterical! And so accurate!

The first thing I thought of was the convenience factor. The only time I've really had penis envy was when I was with a male, who could just whip and pee, in so many situations. I've had guys tell me that they wanted to have boobs like ours, so they would have them around whenever they wanted, to hold them.

[Scout]

57. I love Uncle Bonsai!

I've seen them several times in Ann Arbor.

[steve2470]

15. Go talk to my "girlfriends" lol nt

[Doctor_J]

16. get a tummy tuck and some new boobs

[Withywindle]

17. Oh c'mon, there's only one correct answer to this question!

Shave my face, of course! I've never done that before!

:evilgrin:

[Speck Tater]

18. you said if I "COULD", not if I "DID" change.

So if I COULD change gender I'd say, well, that's nice to know, but I'll stick with my present gender thank you just the same.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

19. Lounge around in my boxer shorts all day

scratching my groin.

[HEyHEY]

21. Go nag someone

*ducks*

[Radical Activist]

26. LOL

That was so very wrong.

[fleabert]

34. If you would just do what you are supposed to do...

we wouldn't have to remind you! Dammit. I have to do everything around here!

:evilgrin:

[qnr]

22. Demand an apology from myself for having objectified women in the past?

[Robeson]

29. First thing? Not touch this thread with a 10 ft. pole....n/t.

[superconnected]

30. honestly, I'd have it removed, start taking estrogen

and work on changing back.

I don't want to be a man. I consider women the superior gender of our species. And, I mean by a long shot.

[fleabert]

32. Have sex...duh!

actually, I'd take my car to the mechanic and see how different it really is to walk in and not be treated like an imbecile. :-)

that being said, i cried the last time I was there. Mad tears, but tears nonetheless, sorry fellow women! I did nothing to advance the cause that day. I was really angry.

[driver8]

37. definitely have sex...

...with myself, first. Just to feel what a woman's orgasm is like. Then, go shopping for a hot outfit. Next, get a bikini wax, hair done, etc. I go home, dress up all sexy, go out to a lesbian bar, pick up some gorgeous chick, take her home and have sex for a day or so.

Oh yeah -- I would also play with my boobs once in awhile.

[baron j]

38. I would go get charged a ridiculous amount for a haircut.

[BiggJawn]

39. Hello Sailor!

First thing I'd do if I became a woman is find out if I was multi-orgasmic.

Of course, that inferrs that other things would change about my looks besides the plumbing. :-)

[RedstDem]

40. Go Down To The Docks

And Wait For The Ship Come In ....

[ronnykmarshall]

60. Wait for me girlfriend!

Let's stop and shop first.

[noonwitch]

42. Pee outdoors

The only thing about men that I envy is that ability. It must be convenient when waiting in line at concerts and such.

[BiggJawn]

51. Pretty overated, IMO...

Hope I'm never standing in a line where the guys just whup it out and let fly....Ewww!

[Burma Jones]

43. Give Birth

Now, that's creative power...................

[Ian David]

45. I'd take a single's trip to Club Med followed by a lesbian cruise

[DrGonzoLives]

46. Stare at myself for a while

Then experience multiple orgasms.

Yeah, I'm a pig.

[tigereye]

62. guys I think the multiple O thing is

well, an exaggeration. JMO.

[DrGonzoLives]

64. Wrong

I've caused them in a couple of lucky female partners...

[tigereye]

72. well, evidently my so needs better instruction, then

;)

[underpants]

47. LADIES NIGHT!!!!!!!!!!

:beer::beer::beer:

[Texasgal]

49. Take a nice long

piss in the snow! :P

[sniffa]

50. try out the new hoLe

and broaden my abiLity to get free drinks.

[Aristus]

52. Take a bubble bath and

play with my breasts a lot! :evilgrin:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

53. Piss in a jar in the car on a long road trip

[Wapsie B]

55. Become a porn actress. n/t

[redqueen]

59. Demand a raise. n/t

[Tektonik]

65. I'd go work at Hooters

and make great tip money.

[Spider Jerusalem]

66. Realise I was a lesbian?

After all, I'd still have the same brain...unless you're talking about a complete and total personality overhaul here...

[LTR]

70. Go hang out in the women's locker room at Bally's Fitness

:spank:

[Lone Pawn]

71. shop for cucumbers

[greymattermom]

73. pee

standing up by the side of the road or off in the woods or such

[Mr. Blonde]

74. Put on something slutty and go to the bars

get home and laugh at all the guys who thought they had a chance.

Don't lie girls you know you do it.

[Dookus]

75. Go down to the skate park

and give those boys the ride of their lives.

[tinfoilinfor2005]

76. I would go out and marry a woman

and get waited on hand and foot.

[leftofthedial]

77. masturbate, of course

of course, that's probably the first thing i'll do without changing gender

see you later