Sean Hannity's 'Hannidate'

[Leilla]

Ladies, if you're looking for a garden gnome in black satin, who lists taxidermy and stuffing unwashed ladies' undergarments down his voluminous trousers as a hobby, then look no further than here:

http://www.hannity.com/gallery/Hannidate2005/My_pix1

[Ellen Forradalom]

1. Isn't 'hannidate' a setting on my blender?

Between 'garble' and 'self-immolate'?

[Radical Activist]

4. I thought it was what you did at home alone

we you couldn't get a real date.

[JohnnyRingo]

2. How long can a relationship last if you meet on Sean Hannity's website?

Can you imagine what these people are like, once you peel away the shell of their profile.

It's one thing to be a conservative...The ones that idolize Hannity are in another league. I had no idea that he hooked up fellow Nazis for procreation.

[Undercover Owl]

23. What the heck is this guy doing on this insane page?

Is somebody playing a joke on him?
This "hannidate" thing is the weirdest thing I've seen all day.

[JohnnyRingo]

3. There goes a half hour I'll never see again

I was flipping throught the profiles looking for one to make fun of.
They were all gems, but I settled on this one:
It seems he's hoping to meet an Ann Coulter clone there

A conservative U.S. Army veteran, living on the left coast. I like walks on the beach, Ann Coulter and standing up to outspoken liberal "experts" who claim to know what's going on in Iraq. I love my country, my president, my family and my dog, Fonzie. I'd go back to Iraq in a second but I've suffered a shoulder injury that won't allow me to play G.I Joe anymore. I'm looking for a strong minded conservative woman to take to dinner in a San Francisco restaurant. One who's smart enough to wait until we are served before delighting in the discussion of liberals, their flaws and their feeble attempts to hide them. I'd like to hold out for Ann, but I'm a realist. Though, I could see the two of us having the most delightful conversation: one simple, passionate conservative; one sophisticated, radical conservative...Man, I'd love to have dinner with Ann Coulter! If she's not available, I'd be happy to meet someone who identifies with her political id.

http://www.hannity.com/gallery/Hannidate2005/Destination_Iraq

[northzax]

17. uh, which one is 'sophisticated'?

probably him, I guess.

and convenient how his shoudler injury 'prevents' him from going bqack to Iraq, ain't it?

on edit: that might sound too harsh. I respect the sacrifice of anyone who has been wounded or killed in Iraq. But I notice that the only people eager to go are those who are unable to for some reason.

Personally, I'd fight Ron Artestin a heartbeat, but I've got this trick knee, see, so I'll just yell obscenties at him while hiding behind security guards.

[JohnnyRingo]

25. I know criticizing a soldier for anything is a delicate issue these days

But this guy has his pic on there.
And I know serious injuries are not always evident, but I'd bet this guy is playing the system. I've read stories about amputees demanding return with their unit. I suspect this fellow is "one of the lucky ones".

I can't blame the guy, however, I'll admit shamelessly that I'd do the same thing to get out of any nasty job I didn't like, let alone such a deadly endeavor as Iraq with 130deg weather on the way.

But dinner conversation with Ann Coulter....Oh the horror, the horror!

[joeybee12]

5. Hey welcome to DU! Can we infiltrate Hannidate and post bogus

profiles?

"I wants a good, conservative, God-fearin' white woman who knows that when I beats her head upsides the wall, she done knows I's just doin' the Lord's work. Personal hygiene not a pre-requisite."

[Nalgenelover Snort]

6. I'm so tempted.

Five minutes and I've already found Mr. Midlife Crisis, Miss Burned Out Frat Girl, Mr. Not Doing Anything With His Life, and Miss I Can't Stay In a Relationship Because I'm a Control Freak; Only Contact Me If You Meet All Fifty Criteria On This List.

Yup. They're all a bunch of vapid, low-class idiots who think they understand politics just because they listen to Hannity all day. I found this one particularly amusing: http://www.hannity.com/gallery/Hannidate2005/bodyshop_004

So what do YOU do for a living, Mr. I'm Too Good For Most People?

[Midlodemocrat]

9. I just went over there and now

I have to rinse out my eyes with Clorox. Bleechh :puke:

[neebob]

10. He's too horrible to even think about.

I'm deeply disturbed now.

[joeybee12]

13. NOOOOOOOOOO! I just clicked on your link!

:puke:

[AwakeAtLast]

18. Another name for him - "Lonely Boy"

or "Mama's Boy", or "Whiny Boy". Take your pick.

[xmas74]

24. This guy wants someone who is not a nagger but

who is sweet and warmhearted.
Good luck finding it on that site!

[HamstersFromHell]

14. LMAO!!

Your "profile" there reminded me of a old Renaldo Rey joke:

I've had 3 wives.

First wife died of mushroom poisoning.

Second wife died of mushroom poisoning.

Third wife died to a blow to the head. Bitch wouldn't eat the mushrooms.

[neebob]

7. Eew! Is that what I think it is?

Hannity has online dating?! I can't even believe how smarmy that is.

[joeybee12]

11. Hey, even the intellectually challenged need some lovin'!

:puke:

[sasquatch]

8. That guy ain't no 5'9"

He's about 5'6" at the most.

[tinfoilinfor2005]

12. My girlfriend is a repug...but she has other good qualities and

we've been friends for years. She got hooked up with a republican dating place and started going out with a very nice looking repug man. Within a month he had this attractive outgoing lady hiding in a corner. He was verbally abusive and a real all around shit. She finally dumped him and he just couldn't understand what the problem was.

[DS1]

15. Good lord, I hate all of those people

[neebob]

16. Allow me to translate

I'm a conservative Christian. {Translation: I idolize Sean Hannity.} I'm tired of talking to liberals in the bar scene. {Translation: I sit around in bars spewing opinions that sober people don't want to listen to.} I'm very active, own my own business, play in 2 softball leagues and keep in shape. {Translation: I'm lying.} I'm looking for a very pretty, thin, petite woman {Translation: I believe I deserve to be with a supermodel, regardless of what I look like.} with young/younger children. I believe that children add to a relationship. My 3 are older but I'd gladly turn the clock back so we can go back to the school days where I played with them nonstop. {Translation: I was afraid to molest my own children.} I still have that kind of energy and plenty of free time on my hands. {Translation: Did I mention I'm unemployed?}

[tinfoilinfor2005]

19. Priceless!

Where did you learn to speak such fluent pug?

[neebob]

22. I don't speak pug

More like I'm fluent in online dating B.S.

[neebob]

21. And in the interest of gender equity:

Description: Late 30s single white female {Translation: Even though my pic shows that I'm white, I have to say that because I'm afraid of black men hitting on me}, no children, brown hair/brown eyes, very conservative in thinking and dress {Translation: I'm overweight.} Bachelor's Degree from the University of Kentucky in Business, have been in the management end of the transportation industry since high school. {Translation: I'm the office manager or the boss' secretary at a bus company.} I've been a Republican since before I was old enough to vote, and have stumped for Presidents Reagan, Bush 41 and Bush 43. Campaigned for Robert Dole, as well as many Kentucky candidates. {Translation: I was hoping to meet a man.} I have no siblings, am very close with my parents, who are still married after almost 40 years. {Translation: I have never questioned anything my parents taught me.} I believe in God, I pray, and I'm a devoted NASCAR fan. {Translation: I pray for enough extra cash to attend a race and meet a man.} I'm even a loyal Bon Jovi fan, even though Jon Bon Jovi's political beliefs are different from my own. {Translation: Politics don't really matter if you're cute like Bon Jovi. I fantasize about him.} My parents, Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity, Rush Limbaugh, Alexander Haig and Teresa Earnhardt are my heroes. {Translation: I'm insane.} I am a proud American patriot {Translation: I idolize Sean Hannity and fantasize about him, too}, I support our troops (adopted a soldier) {Translation: because it seemed like a good way to meet a man}, and I strongly believe that we shouldn't buy vehicles made in a country we've fought in a war. {Translation: Did I mention I'm insane?} (You won't be seeing anything but Chevys in my driveway, thank you {Translation: until I meet a man who can afford something better}.) I love to read - fiction, non-fiction, enjoy photography and travel {Translation: How I long to escape my real life.} and have had the same best friend since we were 12. {Translation: I have one friend.}

[nytemare]

20. Maybe someone should put "Jeff Gannon" on there

Or, does it have to get cleared first?

[JohnnyRingo]

26. Here's a game: Count the ethnics in "Hannidate"

I'm in the lead with zero

[BlackVelvetElvis]

27. I love his vast library of all of Hannity's books! nt