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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-23-05 09:58 PM
Original message
Excuse me while I get on my soapbox
*ahem*

People that get dogs, regardless of means, should be made to train their dogs a series of simple tricks - most importantly "Shutting the fuck up", and tested on a yearly basis. Should the dog fail the annual exam, the owner shall then be shot in the head.

*Thank you*
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JimmyJazz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-23-05 09:59 PM
Response to Original message
1. Follow Up Question:
WHO THE FUCK PISSED ON YOUR CHEERIOS???????? Inquiring Lizards want to know?
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-23-05 10:00 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. Follow up Answer:
WHEN THE FUCK DID YOU START REFERRING TO YOURSELF IN PLURAL FORM???????
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JimmyJazz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-23-05 10:02 PM
Response to Reply #2
3. On Rebuttal:
FUCK YOU - I DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T ANSWER MINE!
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-23-05 10:03 PM
Response to Reply #3
6. You're barking up the wrong tree
}(
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JimmyJazz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-23-05 10:05 PM
Response to Reply #6
9. Oh! Good comeback there, Mr. Snappy McWisecrack!
Edited on Wed Feb-23-05 10:05 PM by JimmyJazz
you win. :P
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miss_kitty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-23-05 10:03 PM
Response to Reply #1
7. It's obvious
a dog did it :P
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-23-05 10:02 PM
Response to Original message
4. Wow...straight to shot in the head?
Not beaten to within an inch of his/her life? Interesting. Not saying I disagree necessarily, but interesting...
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-23-05 10:04 PM
Response to Reply #4
8. Too many dogs to be tested for a cheap method of measuring
'within inches of life' on a owner by owner basis.

People with seeing-eye dogs will only have their legs broken.
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GOPisEvil Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-23-05 10:07 PM
Response to Reply #8
13. Sounds good.
Clear out some of the clutter while we're at it.
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Canuckistanian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-23-05 10:06 PM
Response to Reply #4
11. I would prefer "being slapped senseless"
For the first offense only. THEN the shot to the head.
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miss_kitty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-23-05 10:03 PM
Response to Original message
5. I'm working on 'STFU'
only I am phrasing it as "No Bark" and "Hey hey hey now!" She's pretty good. the only time she loud barks now is when she's yelling at me.

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HEyHEY Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-23-05 10:05 PM
Response to Original message
10. And fed to their dogs
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-23-05 10:06 PM
Response to Reply #10
12. If you insist.
At that point my work is complete.
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fishnfla Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-23-05 10:09 PM
Response to Original message
14. There's a trick to getting them to shut the fuck up?
and you expect people to be able to teach 'em that? how 'bout dogs teach humans to crap on the lawn?

Its like the blind leading the blind
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-23-05 10:10 PM
Response to Reply #14
15. Then about a year from now, we're going to have a lot less
noise pollution.
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-23-05 10:11 PM
Response to Original message
16. I hear ya! And I'm with ya! And I agree with ya!
No pussyfooting. It's time for the democrats to show that we, also, are tough on crime. Fuck 'em - you get one chance, you have all year to train them properly. If you can't do it, fuck ya, you die. Plain and simple.

One strike and you're out.
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-23-05 10:13 PM
Response to Reply #16
17. Or.....!
You could just give up after 11 months, and not have to worry about highspeed lead. Of course, that year is NOT subject to resetting, you get another dog, you got one month. Fucker. :D
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-23-05 10:14 PM
Response to Reply #17
18. Absolutely! And I might that anyone with a subwoofer in their car
also gets shot in the head. And no, there isn't any "chance" to take it out first, or any freebie "test period" or anything.

Plain and simple - if you have a subwoofer in your car, you die.
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-23-05 10:17 PM
Response to Reply #18
19. I've already drafted up the plans for the localized seismic
activity triggered telephone pole mounted Hellfire missiles.

Or as it's more fondly known LSATTPMH

(my electronics expert was Welsh)
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-23-05 10:18 PM
Response to Reply #19
22. Beautiful!!
If I were president, you would have all the funding you want.
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Radical Activist Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-23-05 10:17 PM
Response to Original message
20. Good call
Edited on Wed Feb-23-05 10:18 PM by Radical Activist
"shutting the fuck up" is the most important dog trick. You might also require people to take a course called "Why owning a dog over 100 pounds in a tiny house or apartment in a crowded urban area is real fucking stupid, dumbass."
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Rabrrrrrr Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-23-05 10:18 PM
Response to Reply #20
21. And a class on "Keep your dog leashed" means "Keep your dog leashed"
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datasuspect Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-23-05 10:21 PM
Response to Original message
23. Execution style or gangland style? n/t
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-23-05 10:23 PM
Response to Reply #23
24. I've put Nguyen Ngoc Loan on retainer
If that answers your question.
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datasuspect Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-23-05 10:25 PM
Response to Reply #24
25. bully for you
chilly for those dog owning pod-people
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SOteric Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-23-05 10:35 PM
Response to Original message
26. Can we have an even more swift justice
Edited on Wed Feb-23-05 10:38 PM by SOteric
for people who let their dogs poo on your front walkway and can't be bothered to remove the offending pile o crap?

/loves dogs really, just thinks people should be responsible for their pets and their pet's behaviour.
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DS1 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-23-05 10:37 PM
Response to Reply #26
27. hmmm poo-bullets
I think you might be onto something there...
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JimmyJazz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Wed Feb-23-05 10:37 PM
Response to Reply #26
28. Oh! Hear! Hear!
I hate that shit -- no pun intended! I see it all the time in the city and it drives me nutso! I hate when I see people out walking their dog and they obviously have no method of "curbing" it. blech
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