Playing God: Create your own religion - Democratic Underground

Modem Butterfly

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Thu Feb-17-05 01:16 PM
Original message

Playing God: Create your own religion

Edited on Thu Feb-17-05 01:21 PM by Modem Butterfly

Okay, here's mine:

As Modem, Goddess of Pretty Much Everything, I'm omnipotent, omniscient, and omnivorours. I demand no special favors, I get annoyed at people who pray too much, and I bestow special blessings on people who don't believe in me, mostly to annoy the fundies. I insist on being worshipped by wild bacchanals held once a financial quarter, or on the equinoxes, whichever comes first. Mostly I enjoy zapping bigots and real estate agents. In my religion, the only sins are bigotry and telemarketing.

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Modem Butterfly

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Thu Feb-17-05 01:38 PM
Response to Original message

1. Anyone? Anyone?

Bueller?

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Melodybe

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Thu Feb-17-05 01:42 PM
Response to Reply #1

2. Bueller?

Edited on Thu Feb-17-05 01:42 PM by Melodybe

Bueller?

Um, He's sick, my best friend's sister's boyfriend's cousin knows this guy who knows this kid who's going out with the girl that saw Ferris pass out at 31 flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.

You could be the next L. Ron Hubbard.

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Sentath

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Thu Feb-17-05 01:50 PM
Response to Original message

3. A friend of mine put together a business card

that listed 'Theological Engineer' as one of his specialties.

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sans qualia

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Thu Feb-17-05 01:51 PM
Response to Original message

4. I created a world ideally suited for insect life...

... unfortunately, it got infested with these stupid religious apes, and they think I did it all for them. :eyes: Foolish humans.

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Modem Butterfly

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Thu Feb-17-05 02:57 PM
Response to Reply #4

7. Hah!

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Ryano42

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Thu Feb-17-05 02:01 PM
Response to Original message

5. The Perfect Religon is Already Here...

http://www.subgenius.com/

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Dr Batsen D Belfry

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Thu Feb-17-05 02:02 PM
Response to Original message

6. Foodaism

The belief that a benevolent deity will mysteriously restock the fridge to end my arriving at the fridge every 5 minutes and finding nothing desirable.

Dr Batsen D Belfry

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giant_robot

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Thu Feb-17-05 03:02 PM
Response to Original message

8. What, no plauges? No floods?

Not even some smiting? C'mon, there's got to be smiting!

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Modem Butterfly

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Thu Feb-17-05 03:04 PM
Response to Reply #8

9. Only for the fundies

Everyone else gets a pass. I'm a god who can't be bothered.

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giant_robot

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Thu Feb-17-05 03:12 PM
Response to Reply #9

10. Well thank God...errr....thank the Modem Goddess for that!

Besides, the Fundies really, really enjoy all that angry god stuff. That's very considerate of you! :)

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MsAnthropy

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Thu Feb-17-05 03:16 PM
Response to Original message

11. Sign me up, Modem!

I'll worship you! But I don't have to tithe or anything, do I? (10% of nothing is nothing, sorry to say)

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DU AdBot (1000+ posts)

Tue May 07th 2024, 02:25 AM
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