My deposition is tomorrow.

[rbnyc]

I'm kind of nervous. The accident was so long ago. I'm not even sure how clearly I remember things. I'm sick so I have been sleeping most of the day. I haven't really gone over things in my mind. I'm afraid to go over it in my mind, really, because I'm afraid I'll try to remember what I remember, instead of just seeing what I remember.

It's not the most pleasant thing to think about.

I'm scared.

:scared:

My husband had the right idea. The outcome isn't important. The money isn't important. We're doing this because we want the girl who hit us to have a deeper understanding of what she did. And the kind of loss I sustained is the whole reason there's a such thing as pain and suffering damages. We are doing what's appropriate, but no matter what happens in the end, the universe has its way of balancing things out.

(For those who don't know the back story, I was in a horrible car accident right before my wedding. I was married in my hospital bed, and I lost the baby I was carrying. I was in a wheelchair and had to completely re-learn how to walk. I still have pain every day, and I'm not great on stairs. But my goal is to be able to run and jump this year.)

On the lighter side, we got a new hard drive and my mom said she's going to buy me my very own lap-top!

EDIT: I probably shouldn't really be talking about this. I'm not sure. But I don't have anything to hide and I need my friends.

[blm]

1. Why don't you check the archives for what you said just after the accident

when you explained it to matcom and us.

It might help jar your memory.

[rbnyc]

4. they will ask me if I referred to anything to refresh my memory...

...and anything I looked at is admissable. Again, I don't have anything to hide, but I think I'd want to ask my lawyer first, and it's late.

I bet it will all come flooding back.

Thanks blm.

:loveya:

[Maddy McCall]

8. It will.

Sometimes our minds have a way of putting traumatic events in a "file" in our brain. Although you may not recall off-hand what happened, you will when the questions start.

If I were you, I wouldn't worry about this. I would go sit in the chair tomorrow and let it flow. It's all there in your brain, and you will be able to remember tomorrow.

:loveya:

[rbnyc]

14. Thanks. That's what I'm hoping.

I also have this good-girl complex. I don't want to disappoint my lawyer.

I know that's silly, and this is about me, not about him. But I'm just that way. I always want to perform well and please the people around me.

Well, this is a conflict, so someone's not going to be pleased.

It's just like everything else in life. You have to rely on the basics. Be yourself and tell the truth. You can't go wrong.

[Nite Owl]

2. Good luck tomorrow

I didn't know the story at all. You have the truth on your side so that makes things easier to explain. All they can ask is that you say what happened.

[rbnyc]

6. Thanks.

That's what I keep saying. I just know those insurance company lawyers will do anything to get out of paying. I can't expect them to be nice.

I was a passanger, so it's not my fault.

[Book Lover]

3. A bit late maybe but

did you file a police report? You are allowed to review it before you enter the courtroom/place of deposition.

Good luck! We're here for you :hug:

[rbnyc]

9. I think the best thing is to just relax, and get myself...

...into a head-space where I feel safe. My husband and son will be waiting for me. And I'll come back to the Lounge and tell you all how it went.

[Maddy McCall]

5. Can't offer any advice...

but just lots of good wishes. In a strange way, this will be very therapeutic for you: putting it all out in the open has a way of healing you.

:hug:

[rbnyc]

10. I hope so.

It sure takes a looong time. Thanks.

[theorist]

7. You'll be fine. Just do whatever you do to relax.

I do have a concern, though.

We're doing this because we want the girl who hit us to have a deeper understanding of what she did.

Has the girl who hit you not been in contact with you? Has she not even apologized or shown any concern for your losses?

[rbnyc]

12. Not at all.

She's never asked about me once.

I asked about her.

Even when I was unconscious in the car with my baby dying, she never asked anyone about me. She just yelled at my husband's brother, who was driving the car I was in, and tried to position herself so that she wouldn't get in trouble.

And when I was in the ER and the doctor told me there was little hope for the baby, but I was insisting they check for a heartbeat, she was on the other side of the curtain screaming and crying because they had to cut her favorite shirt!

[theorist]

15. As you mentioned above, the universe has a way of balancing things out.

(I had to breathe before replying. I just don't understand some people's lack of humanity.)

It's a horrible thought, but she may end up having a daughter just like herself.

Just don't try to be stoic. When you feel all the pain coming back, just let it go. I'm not sure what your lawyer has told you, though. (I'm trying to play the pacifist here, y'know?)

Anyway, good luck, rbnyc! :hug: (stranger hug!)

[rbnyc]

16. Thanks.

She's young. From what I've gathered, somewhat spoiled. I'm sure she just has no idea how to face reality. In the long run, I think this will be good for her.

[trof]

11. Good luck sweetie. You'll do fine.

You're one of the strongest ladies I know.
I don't know if I could experience what you've been through and still be able to carry on a conversation.
I'll be thinking about you and sending a potload of good karma.
:hug:

[rbnyc]

13. a potload!

That's what I need. Thanks trof.

:hug:

And you could do it. I hope you never have to. But you just do what you have to.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

17. Suggestion...

Don't forget to breathe...
I know it sounds crazy, but sometimes, when we're in particularly stressful situations, we don't breathe as often or as deeply as we should. If you find yourself drawing a blank, relax and breathe.

I suspect that your lawyer and the judge will do everything they can to put you at ease. Good luck! :hug:

[rbnyc]

20. Good advice!!

Thanks.

:hug:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

18. Only answer what is asked. If you don't know don't guess

The only thing they have a right to is an estimate from you about time frames. You can only impeach yourself by guessing..."I don't remember" or "I can't recall" is a valid answer. If they then want to show you something to refresh your memory that is fine. Wait before answering any questions as your atty might object to the question.

Best wishes.

[rbnyc]

21. Thaks NSMA!

I will only say what I remember. It's only natural that I won't remember some things, given the circumstances.

:hug:

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

23. And I am here...call me if you just want some morale support

:loveya:

[rbnyc]

25. my sweety!

you're the best!

[Bronco69]

19. The only advice I can give you in giving a deposition is this...

As a rule there are only 3 answers; Yes, No, and I don't know. The lawyers on the other side will try to trip you up no matter how right you are so stick to those answers. Don't elaborate on anything unless you are told to do so and if you do, be brief.

[rbnyc]

22. Thanks.

I think they want me to tell my story tho. Well, we'll see.

[bigwillq]

24. Best of luck tommorrow!

I hope all goes well!:hug:

[rbnyc]

27. Thanks.

I'll let you know.

[Ramsey]

26. I had to give a deposition once

In a malpractice case, for a patient of mine. I really wanted her to win, because her surgeon was a real asshole and he really screwed her up.

I was pretty uncomfortable because the other doctor and his lawyer were there, and his lawyer kept yelling at my patient's lawyer in the middle of my testimony! I just didn't know to expect such rude behaviour.

But don't let them intimidate or rattle you, even if they try. Just stick to your guns, say what happened, and I'm sure it will all go fine!

Good luck.

[rbnyc]

28. Thanks Libby.

That's the kind of thing I'm worried about. But it won't last forever. My part is very simple.

:loveya:

[GOPisEvil]

29. NSMA has great advice. As an "expert witness", I echo: answer what you're

asked only. Don't deviate from that specific answer.

No one will begrudge you an "I don't recall"...

Good luck!! :loveya:

[rbnyc]

30. Thanks honey!

:loveya: