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mermaid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 08:03 PM
Original message
I HATE Valentine's Day!!
Who's with me??

God, I can't stand it.I NEVER have someone on Valentine's Day, and I get "sympathy valentines" from mom...thanks, mom, I love you too!!

Meanwhile, all the other girls in the office are ging around with fuckin' balloons, teddy bears, elaborate bouquets of flowers...and no one SAYS it...but the whole ATTITUDE is..."I got a Valentine, and YOU didn't....pbbbbbblllllttttt!!"

Or "Someone loves ME...no one loves YOU!! pbbbbbbbllllltttt!!"

God, make this fucking day hurry up and get over with!!!
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sundog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 08:04 PM
Response to Original message
1. don't hate
everyone gets their day in the sun :)
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Champ Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 08:04 PM
Response to Original message
2. I know how you feel
This year will be my first having one for Valentine's day but the old lady is still ASLEEP!! :)
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Merrick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 08:04 PM
Response to Original message
3. Take consolation in knowing
that they're all suckers and Hallmark is laughing all the way to the bank.
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liberalhistorian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 08:14 PM
Response to Reply #3
8. Not just Hallmark, but
restaurants and florists and candy-makers and stores! They're all in on the joke, too, lol.
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Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 08:37 PM
Response to Reply #8
21. And jewelers. Remember, those jewelers JUST got done telling
the men that they are no-good, worthless losers if they don't cough up some diamonds for their women at Christmas, and then they marched right into telling them they are no-good, worthless losers if they don't cough up some diamonds for their women at Valentine's Day. As if there is NO OTHER way to show love than diamonds.

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liberalhistorian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 08:40 PM
Response to Reply #21
24. Yeah, the pressure on men
at this time has to be pretty bad. I certainly agree with your comment about diamonds, but I will say that I've never gotten a diamond ANYTHING from any of my previous boyfriends, and I sure would like to know what it's like to get any piece of diamond jewelry one of these days, lol!
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 08:09 PM
Response to Original message
4. Hey, I don't have anyone this year either
But I'm trying to refrain from any "Lonely Single Guy" posts tonight...

I'm in too good of a mood.

Otherwise you have my sympathies. :hi:
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liberalhistorian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 08:12 PM
Response to Reply #4
6. Well, of course you're
in a good mood, LG, you have a FIREPLACE, you know! :evilgrin:

And Happy Valentine's Day! :toast: :toast: :toast: :bounce: :bounce: :bounce: :loveya:
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Longgrain Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 08:18 PM
Response to Reply #6
14. I didn't forget you sweetheart!!!
You know I meant a real life one. I got the champaign chilling and romantic music playing on the turn table...



:hi:
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liberalhistorian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 08:10 PM
Response to Original message
5. Honey, I'm with ya,
believe me! I know it's just another day and we really shouldn't care all that much, but it's the whole attitude and the saturation of it that gets me. The message to singles always seems to me to be "sit down, shut up and smile." We're made to feel guilty if we express any negative emotions at all, on top of being made to feel like losers if we don't have anyone. It's the societal assumption that EVERYONE has a "sweetie" and that there's something wrong with you if you don't that gets me. And the ones who are piling on the platitudes the most are the ones who are already happily involved. I think it's hard for people who do have someone to stand back and see just what it's like for those of us who are single and unattached on this day. I know it was hard for me to understand during the times when I was involved and did have someone. I'll never make that mistake again, believe me.

OTOH, it's often no piece of cake for couples, either, there's a lot of pressure and feelings of obligation and frankly a lot of couples only do things for each other on this day because they feel obligated, not because they really, truly want to. And what's the point of having someone if the only time they really do anything special for you is on a manufactured "romantic" holiday? True couples do things for each other all year round and don't need a "special" day to express their feelings.
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mermaid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 08:17 PM
Response to Reply #5
12. You Hit It RIGHT ON THE HEAD!!
"...being made to feel like losers if we don't have anyone. It's the societal assumption that EVERYONE has a "sweetie" and that there's something wrong with you if you don't ..."

"...message to singles always seems to me to be "sit down, shut up and smile." We're made to feel guilty if we express any negative emotions at all,..."


"...it's the whole attitude and the saturation of it that gets me."

Add them up, folks!!

In a nutshell, THIS is WHY I hate Valentine's Day...

We're made to feel defective, unlovaable, unloved, and that there is something wrong with us BECAUSE we're single....the ones who are NOT single parade around showing off all their goodies, and without saying it, the whole attitude is...I got someone and you don't...you suck!! pbbbbbblllltttt!!

And, on top of being made to feel like losers, unlovable defects, and just plain weird...we are also frowned upon if we make any negative comments about what is going on around us!

So we're supposed to just sit ther and endure it while we are, in not so many WORDS...but by ACTIONS and ATTITUDES, called losers, defects, and unlovable.

Damn it makes me want to just cry!

I have to be, like, the only girl in the whole freaking OFFICE who got ZILCH for Valentine's Day...and it really makes you feel bad when all the OTHER GIRLS got something, and you got nothing.
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liberalhistorian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 08:35 PM
Response to Reply #12
19. ARRGGGH, Office
deliveries, those SUCK! They are SO painful, even for those singles like me who've determined not to feel too bad this year. It's like when you were in school and didn't receive an invitation to a party that everyone else seemed to be invited to (I think we've all experienced a variation of THAT one, lol!)

On the V Days when I have been involved with someone, as much as I would have loved an office delivery, I told him not to do it because I really didn't think it was right and I felt bad for the other girls in the office who didn't get anything, having been in their shoes more than once (MUCH more, lol). I could wait until I got home. And I really don't see the necessity of office deliveries, either, what the hell is wrong with having it delivered at home? I've known many managers who hated V Day deliveries, because the ones who didn't get anything felt bad all day and the office atmosphere sucked for the day. Some even went so far as to ban deliveries altogether.
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mermaid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 08:43 PM
Response to Reply #19
26. I WISH Mine Would!! And For Precisely That Reason!!
It makes us single girls wild with jealousy, and feel absolutely fucking terrible.

I ended up going home sick two hours early today, and I think my boss knew damn well why I did, too.

She was sympathetic, though...sympathetic enough not to say anything about it...just, see ya tomorrow! and Feel better!
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JimmyJazz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 08:13 PM
Response to Original message
7. I've been with someone on Valentine's Day and I've been alone
on Valentine's Day - When I was with someone, whatever they did seemed more obligatory than anything else. I dunno - it's just never been a big deal to me either way. I think this holiday is terribly overrated. I don't think I'm missing anything.
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liberalhistorian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 08:16 PM
Response to Reply #7
10. I think if you are with someone
on this day, whatever they do is made more special and less obligatory if you've both been doing little things for each other all year and not just one day out of the year. If you haven't, and only do something on VD, then it really is more obligatory than special. It's when it's not obligatory that it's really special; I've experienced that and the loss of it is what makes me really ache on this day.
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JimmyJazz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 08:30 PM
Response to Reply #10
15. excellent point darling.
:)
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miss_kitty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 08:16 PM
Response to Reply #7
11. hey! didja get to balloons, chocolates, teddybears, 3 doz roses
Edited on Mon Feb-14-05 08:17 PM by miss_kitty
rebar and cornstarch I sent you, lurve?

:loveya: :loveya: :loveya: :loveya: :loveya: :loveya: :loveya: :loveya: :loveya:
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JimmyJazz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 08:30 PM
Response to Reply #11
16. Oh no - Not another one!
:silly:
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miss_kitty Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 08:14 PM
Response to Original message
9. more mindless consumerism
why is there a 'special' day for this? too much effort to make a special day outside of VD?

It used to be fun and okay, little cards, maybe flowers. Now you're shit on a stick if you don't stump up for a dozen roses, a fucking teddy bear, and a goddamn bunch of space and resource wasting balloons :wtf:

What other unnecessary, unrelated, unassociated piece of shit industries will start marketing their crap for this non-holiday? VD rebar? how about getting me some VD cornstarch? stupid
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Lydia Leftcoast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 09:08 PM
Response to Reply #9
32. My best Valentine's Day present ever was a poem
I've never gotten an expensive Valentine's Day present, but I've appreciated the ones that showed some thought instead of reflexive buying of what everyone else was buying.
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liberalhistorian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 10:41 PM
Response to Reply #32
34. That's very true,
I've gotten some "made from scratch" gifts that were much more special than the usual things. A poem is, indeed, a wonderfully original, creative, thoughtful gift.
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Leftist78 Donating Member (609 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 08:18 PM
Response to Original message
13. I'm with you
I'm going through a divorce, and even though I have absolutly no desire to reconcile with her, this Valentine's Day is proving to be kinda tough.
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liberalhistorian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 08:30 PM
Response to Reply #13
17. Yikes!
Sorry to hear that, I know this day has to be especially painful if you're enduring a break-up. One of my long-term relationships ended in January (many years ago), and let me tell you, that year's V Day was ROUGH. Especially since we'd had such a wonderful one together the year before. There's a local radio show that's on Monday through Friday nights, and the host does a lot of dedications, mostly romantic ones from people who've "got it all,'cause I'm married to the greatest gal/guy in the world and I'm so blessed and happy, and"...................blahblahblahblahblahblah.

So you can kind of imagine what her Valentine's Day show is like. Apparently, she's been getting emails pleading for "mercy" on this evening from regular listeners who want to listen but who are single or who are dealing with a broken heart, etc., etc. I hope she's at least considered them.
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mermaid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 08:34 PM
Response to Reply #17
18. Yeah, That's The Other Thing...
Can't even listen to the damn radio, because you get to hear how happy/loved everyone else is...and it just makes you feel all the more like a loser.

At least I have my dog!! I know SHE loves me.

The two of us are gonna curl up on the couch and watch a good, non-romantic movie tonight.

Good night, y'all
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liberalhistorian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 08:37 PM
Response to Reply #18
22. MOVIES on TV, that's another one,
this whole fucking weekend every single channel seemed to have a goddamned romance movie on ALL THE TIME. I'm one of those incurably old-fashioned romantics, which means this day hurts all the more if I'm alone, and to be saturated with it on the radio, TV, and other airways is just too much anymore.
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Leftist78 Donating Member (609 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 08:35 PM
Response to Reply #17
20. thanks
for the kind words. It gets easier as time goes on. It's kinda wierd, I was miserable when we were together, and I don't miss being with her. I think maybe what I miss is the "idea" of her, or maybe I just miss being with someone period. :shrug:
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liberalhistorian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 08:41 PM
Response to Reply #20
25. That is exactly what you miss,
I'm sure. Take some time, though, and learn to enjoy being alone. Believe me, there's a lot to enjoy about being single. You need to take a breather after a divorce, anyway; I'm sure you already know that!
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Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 08:39 PM
Response to Original message
23. You know, I don't blame you.
I have had many a Valentine's Day like that too, and it's frustrating.

One year, a female coworker and I decided to say "Screw it" to Valentine's Day. We weren't waiting around for any men to ask us out; we were going out to dinner together and then to a bar to shoot darts or play pool or something. We called it the anti-Valentine's Day.

So what happened while we were out? She got a booty call from her ex, and off she went, leaving me high and dry and alone in the bar.
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liberalhistorian Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 08:44 PM
Response to Reply #23
27. Ouch! That had to hurt
all the more, considering the circumstances.

What is that term the fictional character Bridget Jones uses to describe the attached? "Smug marrieds", I believe it was. That certainly applies, considering their patronizing platitudes and their "I made it and you didn't" attitude.
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Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 08:46 PM
Response to Reply #27
29. It was okay.
I was peeved, but I stayed and played some NTN trivia and drank a toast to myself.

I'm married now, but I hope I am never smug about it. I got damned lucky is all.
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mermaid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 08:52 PM
Response to Reply #29
30. Good For You!
It's the goddam SMUGNESS that really gets under my skin!

And all these girls in my office are SO DAMNED smug about it. They don't have to even say a word, you can READ it in their actions, the way they carry themselves, the way they shove their little pretty gifts under everyone's nose without being COMPLETELY OBVIOUS about it...

Like, they make as ostentatios a display of it as they can without coming right out and SAYING it....
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mermaid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 08:45 PM
Response to Reply #23
28. What A Bitch!!
She wouldn't be my friend anymore after THAT one!!
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Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 09:01 PM
Response to Original message
31. I would be mortified if someone sent me f***ing balloons to work
I mean, really
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mermaid Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 10:00 PM
Response to Reply #31
33. You'd Be MORE Mortified If EVERYONE ELSE Got Balloons, and YOU DIDN'T!!!
n/t
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Skittles Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 10:44 PM
Response to Reply #33
35. honestly, I think I'd be quite fine
I don't fall for any of that shit
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deadparrot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 10:47 PM
Response to Original message
36. Just think...
In a few short hours, there'll be plenty of candy available at 50%-75% off.
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libodem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 10:59 PM
Response to Reply #36
40. funny
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Bouncy Ball Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 10:50 PM
Response to Original message
37. Well, I DO have someone and we don't celebrate it.
With apologies in advance to all guys and gals who do celebrate it, but when I was in the grocery store today about 5 pm, all those guys running around like automatons with bunches of flowers in their hands, looking desperately for a card, like Pavlov's dogs, made me think "CHA-CHING!!!" I wish I were a florist this time of year.

We just don't like the whole forced feel of it.

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AuntiBush Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 10:50 PM
Response to Original message
38. Here on the east coast it's countdown...
With less than 1 hour and 12 minutes to go, Valentine's Day will be official over! Hey, and it's only 12 minutes away from the Jon Stewart show! Don't feel bad. I know exactly how you feel as I'm a widow. I've gotten those sympathy valentine cards from elderly neighbors and family. Just toss them in a draw or the old file 13.

Happy Day-After Valentine's Day, to you!

:bounce::bounce::bounce:
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Thor_MN Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Feb-14-05 10:53 PM
Response to Original message
39. I could do without New Year's Eve and Valentine's Day
My mom sends me a Valentine's Day card every year. I've told her that I wished she didn't because it make me feel like a loser, but does it anyway.

I heard the loud, airheaded person in marketing wander around the department (shared services) today, loudly handing out chocolates as Thank-you's. I doubt that it was intentional as my cube is off to the side and separated from the others, but guess who got skipped? I sure as heck didn't feel like speaking out when she walked by pondering out loud "Did I miss anyone?" I could have reached over the wall and tapped her on the shoulder at that point...

Valetine's Day sucks.

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