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I hope nobody is offended by this. I received this from a friend via email. I find it pretty amusing.
LeftCoast
----------- Misplaced Deity sought by Christians
So, I'm standing at a bus stop and they pull up. A car load of well
meaning, bible thumping nut cases that are just frantic! The middle
aged professionally dressed woman rushes forward ... She takes my arm
and with a trembling voice she asks ... "Have you found Jesus?" Her
eyes plead with an urgency that is out of proportion to a bus stop.
Now normally I just politely decline the sermon, and free religious
paperwork that such folk pawn off on unsuspecting by-standers. But,
unfortunately for her, she is the fourth car to accost me in the last
9 minutes. So by now I'm beginning to wonder what the heck is wrong
with these people. I mean if its not Christians it is the Jehovah's
Witnesses. Can a simple Druid get no peace?
So calmly as I can muster, without being sarcastic I reply, "You
people lost him, again??"
The woman looks confused. This is not the response she was hoping for
and she needs to regroup. She takes a deep breath intending to launch
into her sales pitch for her God, and church, paying no heed to the
concept that I might not be into being converted. I decide to not let
her get going so I launch into a speech of my own ...
"What is wrong with you Christians? Every time I turn around you've
lost Him!" I hit her with a glare of accusation. "I mean really ..."
I take a measured breath. "How do you expect to have anyone follow a
deity that you can't even find!"
The poor woman looks stunned. This isn't going so good. Panicked she
looks desperately to the car ... Surely one of the men can help ...
Undaunted I press on ... "Maybe the problem is with you people ... I
mean Muslims never seem to loose their deity. Come to think of it
neither do Jews, or Pagans of any kind."
I look at the man getting out of the car. He's all smiles. "I realize
you people used to burn people like me at the stake... What was that
about... deity even? I may be a Pagan-heathen, but I have never ever
woke up panicked that I couldn't find my Goddess or God. They are
always right where they should be ... In the fire of my candle, in
the air that I breath, in the earth that I stand on, in the water of
my spring. I never feel abandoned by my deity(ies)."
"Of course, you Christians aren't much fun ..." I continue. By now
they are all out of the car. Befuddled, aghast, and at a loss for
words. "Of course," I offer trying to give them some defense for
losing Jesus. "He could have left due to religious differences. If I
remember correctly he was Jewish. So if you are really so eager to
find him ..." I smile gently to soften the blow. "Check the nearest
synagogue. He's probably in there. Also you folks should try and
remember that this is America ... Where freedom of religion means ALL
religions."
Slowly they climb back into their car and drive away. I stand at the
bus stop ... No pamphlets, no bible, no dogma. I haven't found Jesus,
but I haven't lost him either:)
Oh and if you've found Jesus, please get his face on the evening
news A.S.A.P so the Christians can stop looking for him.
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