joke of the day

[demigoddess]

_____________________________________________


The fate of the free world is in the hands of such as
these:

While looking at a house, my brother asked the real
estate agent which
direction was north because, he explained, he didn't
want the sun
waking him up every morning. She asked, "Does the sun
rise in the north?"

When another person jumped in and explained that the
sun rises in the
east (and has for some time), she shook her head and
said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff."

And then she voted.
===============

I used to work in technical support for a 24x7 call
center. One day I
got a call from an Individual who asked what hours the
call center was
open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24
hours a day, 7 days
a week." He responded, "Is that Eastern or Pacific
time?" Wanting to
end the call quickly, I said, "Pacific..."

And then he voted.
============

So my colleague and I were eating our lunch in our
cafeteria when we
overheard one of the administrative assistants talking
about the
sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She
drove down in a
convertible, but "didn't think she'd get sunburned
because the car was moving."

And then she voted.
================

I was in a high school advanced physics class and the
teacher was
talking about a new military weapon that uses sonic
waves on the
battlefield to burst enemy soldier's chests. One
Individual in the
class spoke up and said, "Well that's stupid! Why
don't they just wear
headphones?"

And a few years later, he voted.
=============

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car. It's
designed to cut
through a seatbelt if she gets trapped. She keeps it
in the trunk.

And then she voted.
=================

My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that
the cases were
discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought
two cases. The
cashier multiplied two times 10% and gave us a 20%
discount.

And then they all voted.
==============

I was hanging out with a friend of mine when we saw a
woman walk by us
with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain.
My friend said,
"Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her
head?" I had to
explain to her that a person's nose and ear remain the
same distance
apart no matter which way the head is turned.

And then she voted.
===============

I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage
area. So I went to
the lost luggage office and told the woman there that
my bags never
showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry
because they were trained
professionals and I was in good hands. "Now," she
asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"

And then she voted.


=====

[SCantiGOP]

1. can I add one?

supposedly true, but I don't know. A IT support guy was trying to talk someone through a problem on the phone. He told the caller to "right click" and see what happened. They said nothing. He told them to do it again; again nothing. So he had to drive over to the office to see what the problem was. There on the screen were the following words:

click
click

no word on whether this guy had enough sense to find a voting booth or not.

[On the Road]

2. I Like the Help Desk Call

where the caller says:

"My cup holder broke off. What can I do?"

[northzax]

3. My personal fave is:

I keep stepping on the pedal and the damn thing won't turn on.