SIGN MY PETITION, PLEASE to be the Lounge's ***OFFICIAL*** Kept Man.

[short bus president]

By replying in this thread, regardless of the actual content of your post, you hereby join me in petitioning the powers that be to take me in officially as the Lounge's kept man. I don't require much... a small monthly allowance to keep me happy and buy me pretty things. Be kind to me and lavish me with praise when I'm a good boy. In return, I agree to be available for pretty much all of the Lounge's kept-man-related needs, except on smoke breaks and made-up holidays. I'll even lift weights everyday like this guy:



Of course my price includes a nightly burlesque act, tho only the high waistband-stuffer gets a peek inside the mango pants. I'll cook, but won't clean. I'll also cut the grass and make all the beer runs, but I won't hold anybody's hair back when they vomit, or groom anyone's yak. Ooh... and I can do yer taxes, too, if yer not particular about 'em being right or anything...

[progmom]

1. You get my vote, SBP

You and Sniffa and Gothic Sponge. Can I vote for all three?

[short bus president]

4. Sniffa and GS will hafta vie for my off nights.

Which, in reality, will give both of 'em plenty of opportunity. There are more made-up holidays in a year than you can shake a stick at, ya know?

;-)

And thank you for your support!

[sniffa]

11. i'm not on nights

or weekends though. i'm in the union.

[notadmblnd]

2. I can handle my own taxes but

I was really looking forward to having nice guy to groom "my yak". So, I don't see how I could possibly sign your petition.

[short bus president]

5. Hrm...

Since you have already signed the petition indicating your support, I will take this to indicate that you have had a change of heart and now DO wish to support my quest for kept-manhood. Thank you for your support!

:D

[yvr girl]

3. So, you are alive.

been wondering about that.

I don't have grass can we negotiate something else? Can you do Canadian taxes?

:*

[short bus president]

6. Canadian taxes? No doubt that'd be pretty easy.

But I like the grass around BC best of all... maybe you could grow a patch and I'll figure out your weird foreign tax structure over a pipefull of some of the, erm... clippings? :smoke:

And on edit: didn't wanna be rude! Thank you for your support! :D

[yvr girl]

8. you wanna turn my place into a grow op

The mounties maybe a little lax about the smoking, but they tend to frown on the growing. (Go figure.)

sides I live in a no smoking building.

[FarLeftRage]

7. Is that from Star Trek?

You know,the one about the metrones?

[short bus president]

10. I'm gonna let someone else

jump all down yer throat about the source of the pic, but I would like to thank you very much for your support!

[FarLeftRage]

22. Support? Support for what?

I didn't read the fine print...

[ogradda]

9. if you won't groom my yak

we don't have a deal:spank:

[short bus president]

12. OK, there's maybe some room for negotiation on the yak thing,

since two people have now indicated that my no-yak-grooming policy is a dealbreaker (even though both have lent their support to my cause anyway by signing the petition).

Are we talking domesticated yaks, or wild yaks? And can they be safely sedated for grooming?

[notadmblnd]

14. Well my Yak is pretty tame

of course she has been known to become shall we say agitated ;)on groom- ing day.

[FuzzySlippers]

13. Oh short bus!

You know I've wanted you to be my toy boy for so long!

[short bus president]

15. Hi Fuzzy! I see you've been busy...

Miz 980-somethin' posts...

Thank you for supporting my petition! I suppose I might hafta make up a holiday and take a day off to be toyed with, though...

:D

[sundog]

16. I hope you read the fine print on the job description

:7

[short bus president]

18. It's all good, sodgun! :P

Think of me more as a geisha-guy than a mustang-ranch-girl. ;-)

[sundog]

19. well, you know you have to clean the grout with a tootbrush

every thursday & mop the lobby bathrooms in down time

but go ahead... have a blast :P

[Optimus Primestein]

17. Sure - I'll sign. Which night do I get to keep you, though?

Just asking. :shrug:

[short bus president]

21. Oy! Propositioned by the Big Torah-Totin' Truck-Bot!

I assume you'll want something other than Fridays after sundown...

And please... for the sake of all that is dangly and tender... exercise caution when reaching for the waistband with those big, powerful robot hands! :P

[Optimus Primestein]

27. I'm not really sure what you are saying there, dear.

But, at least I can recognize an inscription in Hebrew when I see it. :P

[short bus president]

28. Feh!

Hebrew... Elvish... it's all the same fuggin' thing!

[Lavender Brown]

20. But what will you cook?

:D

[short bus president]

23. Loins. All sorts of loins.

You had ta ask, didn't you? :P

[Lavender Brown]

26. OK

but I want a cake on my birthday. :P

[buddhamama]

24. you have my support

i can't think of a better man for the job or, a better way for Admin to spend the money.

[short bus president]

30. Thank you!

Just for bein' so nice, I'm gonna make sure YOU catch the first pair of ripaway chaps from the burlesque act!

:D

[Cyndee_Lou_Who]

25. As always, you can count on MY support

:hi: Where you been these days?

[Optimus Primestein]

29. I could ask you the same question, Miss Lou Who!

Where have you been hiding? Under snow? :hi:

[Cyndee_Lou_Who]

32. My attorney said I can't talk about it.

or I'll have to go back. :shrug:

[short bus president]

31. Scaverin' and cromulatin'... you know...

and continuing to strive for the Guiness record in lethargy. :D

:hi:

[FuzzySlippers]

33. Hey, I hold the world record for lethargy!

Ain't no way I'm gonna let you steal my title! I'm gonna lapse into a coma in just a sec.

[short bus president]

37. Go right ahead!

Everyone knows comas don't count. It has to be CONSCIOUS lethargy. You've gotta be AWARE there are things that need doing, yet remain unmoved by the plight of the unaccomplished. To borrow a phrase from a retarded shitmonkey, it's hard work being lethargic. ;-)

[FuzzySlippers]

39. I can't hear you.

I'm in a coma.

[Cyndee_Lou_Who]

34. Well, just don't hurt yourself with all that scaverin' and cromulatin'.

That's hard work, after all!

[short bus president]

40. Aye, it can be.

But somebody's gotta do it, right? Back to it with me... scavering and cromulating. And I'll sing my scavering song...

[JohnKleeb]

35. Ya got my support

Say Shortbus, I hear youre coming to DC next week.

[Cyndee_Lou_Who]

36. Kleeb, I think you have to be 18 to 'keep or be kept'

... soon enuff.

[short bus president]

38. You hear right, Mr. Kleeb.

"short bus president goes to Washington." I'm hoping they'll mistake for the passenger and swear me in, instead.