FUNNY SONGS WITH POLITICAL SIGNIFICANCE

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

LAZYBOY - "Underwear Go Outside The Pants"

Why is marijuana not legal? Why is marijuana not legal?
It’s a natural plant that grows in the dirt.
Do you know what’s not natural?
80 year old dudes with hard-ons. That’s not natural.
But we got pills for that.
We’re dedicating all our medical resources to keeping the old guys erect,
but we’re putting people in jail for something that grows in the dirt?

You know we have more prescription drugs now.
Every commercial that comes on TV is a prescription drug ad.
I can’t watch TV for four minutes without thinking I have five serious diseases.
Like: “Do you ever wake up tired in the morning?”
Oh my god I have this, write this down. Whatever it is, I have it.
Half the time I don’t even know what the commercial is…
people running in fields or flying kites or swimming in the ocean.
I’m like that is the greatest disease ever. How do you get that?
That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy.

The schools now… It is all about self-esteem in the schools now.
Build the kids’ self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves.
If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, who is going to dance in our strip clubs?
What’s going to happen to our porno industry?
These women don’t just grown on trees.
It takes lots of drunk dads missing dance recitals before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fifty bucks.
And if that disappears, where does that leave me on a Friday night with my new high speed connection?



Masterminds are another word that comes up all the time.
You keep hearing about these terrorists masterminds that get killed in the middle east.
Terrorists masterminds.
Mastermind is sort of a lofty way to describe what these guys do, don’t you think?
They’re not masterminds.
“OK, you take bomb, right? And you put in your backpack. And you get on bus and you blow yourself up. Alright?”
“Why do I have to blow myself up? Why can’t I just…”
“Who’s the fucking mastermind here? Me or you?”

Americans, let’s face it: We’ve been a spoiled country for a long time.
Do you know what the number one health risk in America is?
Obesity. They say we’re in the middle of an obesity epidemic.
An epidemic like it is polio. Like we’ll be telling our grand kids about it one day.
The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004.
“How’d you get through it grandpa?”
“Oh, it was horrible Johnny, there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere.”

Nobody knows why were getting fatter? Look at our lifestyle.
I’ll sit at a drive thru.
I’ll sit there behind fifteen other cars instead of getting up to make the eight foot walk to the totally empty counter.
Everything is mega meal, super sized. Want biggie fries, super sized, want to go large.
You want to have thirty burgers for a nickel you fat mother fucker. There’s room in the back. Take it!
Want a 55 gallon drum of Coke with that? It’s only three more cents.



Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life.
Do you think if Bill Gates got laid in high school, do you think there’d be a Microsoft?
Of course not.
You got to spend a long time in your own locker with your underwear shoved up your ass before you start to think,
“You’ll see. I’m going to take of the world of computers! I’ll show them.”

We’re in one of the richest countries in the world,
but the minimum wage is lower than it was thirty five years ago.
There are homeless people everywhere.
This homeless guy asked me for money the other day.
I was about to give it to him and then I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol.
And then I thought, that’s what I’m going to use it on.
Why am I judging this poor bastard.
People love to judge homeless guys. Like if you give them money they’re just going to waste it.
Well, he lives in a box, what do you want him to do? Save it up and buy a wall unit?
Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a CD rack? He’s homeless.
I walked behind this guy the other day.
A homeless guy asked him for money.
He looks right at the homeless guy and says why don’t you go get a job you bum.
People always say that to homeless guys like it is so easy.
This homeless guy was wearing his underwear outside his pants.
Outside his pants. I’m guessing his resume isn’t all up to date.
I’m predicting some problems during the interview process.
I’m pretty sure even McDonalds has a “underwear goes inside the pants” policy.
Not that they enforce it really strictly, but technically I’m sure it is on the books.

[lindsayg]

1. video

http://boss.streamos.com/wmedia/universalmotown/motown/lazyboy/video/00_underweargoesinsideyourpants.asx

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

6. thanks for the link!

i'd never seen it.

[MountainLaurel]

2. Every Sperm Is Sacred

Every Sperm is Sacred


From: The Meaning Of Life
by the Monty Python Team


There are Jews in the world.
There are Buddhists.
There are Hindus and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed, but
I've never been one of them.
I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before I was born,
And the one thing they say about Catholics is:
They'll take you as soon as you're warm.
You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on. You're
A Catholic the moment Dad came,

Because

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

Every sperm is wanted.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood!

Every sperm is useful.
Every sperm is fine.
God needs everybody's.
Mine! And mine! And mine!

Let the Pagan spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill, and plain.
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed
In your neighbourhood.

Every sperm is sacred.
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite iraaaaate!

[Coventina]

3. MTA by the Kingston Trio

But I can't be bothered with posting the lyrics.

:spank:

[dean_dem]

4. Normally I despise "humorous observations about everyday life" humor...

....but that frickin' funny.

[Richardo]

5. "Political Science" by Randy Newman

...used to be funny, now it's a documentary:

No one likes us-I don't know why
We may not be perfect, but heaven knows we try
But all around, even our old friends put us down
Let's drop the big one and see what happens

We give them money-but are they grateful?
No, they're spiteful and they're hateful
They don't respect us-so let's surprise them
We'll drop the big one and pulverize them

Asia's crowded and Europe's too old
Africa is far too hot
And Canada's too cold
And South America stole our name
Let's drop the big one
There'll be no one left to blame us

We'll save Australia
Don't wanna hurt no kangaroo
We'll build an All American amusement park there
They got surfin', too

Boom goes London and boom Paree
More room for you and more room for me
And every city the whole world round
Will just be another American town
Oh, how peaceful it will be
We'll set everybody free
You'll wear a Japanese kimono
And there'll be Italian shoes for me

They all hate us anyhow
So let's drop the big one now
Let's drop the big one now

[Shakespeare]

7. Damn you!

Beat me to it. :hi:

[Richardo]

9. As a PoliSci major when that song came out, I always found it extra funny.

:hi: Shakepeare!

[Az]

8. Try this new one

Not for the fussy.

http://jesuspenis.ericschwartz.com/media/video/JP_Full2.wmv

[Mojambo]

10. The Foremen - Folk Heroes

It's kind of dated stuff, but the songs are just hilariuous.

Here's two of my favorites...

"Ollie Ollie Off Scot Free"

Ready or not, here he comes!

Who's standing over in the corner on his head
Right where his President deserted him for dead
Who is the martyr who sports a purple heart or two
It's Ollie Ollie off scott free

And who is the ham they couldn't ever get to squeal
Who's the banana overturned up on appeal
Who's that a-sloshing across the river to Washington
It's Ollie Ollie off scott free

Who played hide and seek for a decade and a week
Who thinks the White House Press Corps should never take a leak
The pride of the Annapolis alums
Ready or not, here he comes!

Who had an army of his very own to train
Who knows the market price for lobster and cocaine
Who could be fairer to international terrorists
Than Ollie Ollie off scott free

And who was the idol of the Nicaraguan youth
And who's got a funny little gap between his truth
Who learned to be dumb, and call himself a Freedom Fighter
Ollie Ollie off scott free

You may recall Ollie up against the wall
Squaring his chin and bearing his grin and kicking 'em in the cabal
And later on, contradicting George and Ron
Derring his do, preparing his coup and swearing they knew it was on

...Left, left, right, left...
Well, I don't know, but I been told
William Casey's trail is cold
Am I right or wrong? (Far right!)
Am I right or wrong? (Far right!)

Who says it's people like himself he represents
Who says, "They never found a shred of evidence!"
Who talks like Barney and makes his home in Narnia
It's Ollie Ollie off scott free

Who played hide and seek for a decade and a week
Who thinks the White House Press Corps should never take a leak
The pride of the Annapolis alums
Ready or not, here he comes!

Who's in position, packed and poised to take the hill
Whose picture's on the 35 million dollar bill
Who's got the jacket deflecting all the flack, it must be
Ollie Ollie off scott free

Who's earned his diploma
And by the way, who's homophobic
Ollie Ollie off scott free!

"Ain't No Liberal"

I saw a blinding flash of light
So I pulled over to the first church on the right

And I feel so good, ain't no doubt
Wanna laugh and shout about it
'Cause I once was a liberal 1
But I ain't no liberal no more

I saw a bum on the curb today
Well, I hit the gas and covered him with gutter spray

And I feel so good, ain't no doubt
Wanna laugh and shout about it
'Cause I once was a liberal 1
But I ain't no liberal no more

My heart is jumpin' and my head is swimmin'
I feel like I could take the vote away from women

And I feel so good, ain't no doubt
Wanna laugh and shout about it
'Cause I once was a liberal 1
But I ain't no liberal no more

On that joyful day, yes on that glorious day
The day I threw my Birkenstocks away
The angel told me, "Oh, ye man of sin,
Open up your bleeding heart and let Pat Buchanan in!"

I saw a starving third world nation
So I exploited its underprivileged population

And I feel so good, ain't no doubt
Wanna laugh and shout about it
'Cause I once was a liberal 1
But I ain't no liberal no more

Now, I support all my neighbors of color
And their attempts to make that color a little duller 2

And I feel so good, ain't no doubt
Wanna laugh and shout about it
'Cause I once was a liberal 1
But I ain't no liberal no more

Oh, on that joyful day, yes on that glorious day
The day I burned up all my macramé
The angel told me what is good for GM
Is good for me, and me, and me
And the hell with the rest of them

I used to be so paranoid
But now I'm — what?!

I feel so good, ain't no doubt
Wanna laugh and shout about it
'Cause I once was a liberal 1
But I ain't no liberal
And I once was a peacenik
But I bought stock in Lockheed

And I once was a union man
But I got me this nice office

And I once was a feminist
But I just don't understand women

And I once supported rent control
But I inherited some property 3

And I once was anti-censorship
But I don't have time for fiction

And I once hated racism
But I figure, why fight it?

And I once had compassion
But I ain't no liberal no more