First SEX THREAD of 2005!

[UrbScotty]

So... Male or female?

[Solon]

1. Yes please...

it was a demand, not a request! :evilgrin:

[Sporadicus]

5. A Silly Joke

One day in the nursing home an especially spry elderly lady came bouncing into the day room wearing only her nightie with nothing underneath. She was yelling 'super sex!' at the top of her lungs, flashing all the other residents in the day room by pulling up her nightie. 'Suuuper sex!' she announced time after time, prancing all about, holding the hem of her garment in her hands to quickly yank it up. Her gaze settled on one elderly gentleman in a wheelchair who seemed to be avoiding this spectacle. She pranced over to the old man until she was directly in front of him. She boldly pulled up her nightie and in an even voice demanded, 'super sex!' The old man looked her up and down, then announced calmly, 'soup, please.'

[Boy Interrupted]

7. LOL.. I liked that

I am easily amused I guess. Now tell me another.

[coloradodem2005]

2. It is still 2004 here.

n/t

[Sporadicus]

3. Reminds Me of the Answer I Gave My Elder Son

when he came home from 1st grade one day asking, 'Daddy, what is sex? After he told me he had heard some older boys talking about it in the restroom, it just popped into my mind to reply, 'it's whether you're a boy or a girl - a man or a woman.' That answer must have satisfied him, because he didn't bring it up for a long time.

[EstimatedProphet]

4. Female please

and willing to experiment...

[Wapsie B]

6. I'll take one female please, to go

morals not necessary.

[WMliberal]

8. I'll fuck em both

we can get this thread locked yet

[velvet]

9. new girl tiptoes in shyly

You have sex threads here? What happens?

I saw the new year in having sex with a new man. We'd been working up to it for a couple of weeks then wow, omigod, cosmic copitulation on the lounge-room floor. I'm talking ecstatic and without the aid of druggs or alcomohol even. Where has he been all my life? (Learning to do what he did last night.)

It's the next day now, but I am still reeling drunk on tha hormones.

Oh, the newness!

[Butterflies]

10. You're fun

Welcome to DU! :-)

[velvet]

11. ah, prettily-named person

Thank you :hi:

[Butterflies]

12. Do you get to see "The Simpsons" in Australia?

It's among our best exports.

[DS1]

13. Oh god, this feels sooo good. Mmmmm, Virgin 2005 sex threads

[velvet]

14. On this festive thread-deflowering occasion I would like to say

Thank you, America, for the Simpsons. We embrace and cherish them.

I myself live in a benighted, be-hilled part of the bush (I mean the asterisk-less kind) where my tv can't pick up the channel they screen on. I only get a dose of Simpsons here and there when out visiting, but it always does me good.