have you ever jettisoned most of your friends and tried to start over?

[toddzilla]

I did this a few years ago because i'd noticed that i was making progress in my view of the world and humanity in general, most of the people i knew were still caveman types. Although i still have a few friends, and lots of acquaintances, i still haven't found any close friends to take the place of my old ones..

anyone else here cut themselves off from people that used to be very good friends and you just couldn't take it anymore?

[mhr]

1. Lost Almost All of My Freinds

Over the 2000 Election.

I feel Your Pain!

[catzies]

14. The 1994 election did it for me...Gingrich...Rush...called a feminazi

by people I loved. Haven't seen them since 1995. Took me a long time to get over that because of my abandonment issues. But then again, I guess it was good it happened when it did, because it would have with impeachment in 1999 anyway.

[newyawker99]

20. Congrats mhr!! 900 posts

:toast:

[Nlighten1]

2. Yep

It sucks when you grow and they don't.

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

6. BINGO!!!

There it is folks, in a nutshell.

Remember: Far too many people resist growth and maturity, tooth and nail.

[Kamika]

3. lost them all after highschool

I have like 1 friend and i known her since i was 12 lol.. and im like her only friend.

I had ALOT and i mean aLOT of friends in highschool since i used to go to parties and such but they were all artificial.. no contact once graduation was over

[maxanne]

4. that's what I did

when I quit drinking. As it turned out, most of them weren't very good friends. The ones who were stuck with me in sobriety. And there were those I offended so grievously they never were willing to give me another chance. :shrug:

[blondeatlast]

19. Brava, grrl!

True friends will out in the end.

And congrats on getting the upper hand in your struggle!
:thumbsup:

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

5. Yup.

Made some new ones, too. In retrospect, it was the best move I ever made, since it took me away from some really toxic, dysfunctional chuckleheads.

The quantity of friends in my life might not be as great, but the quality is superb. Real people, doing real things in a real way.

Faaaaaantastic.

[demnan]

7. no

One thing even my mother says I've always been good at was making good friends. I'm a pretty good judge of character (except the guys I date - go figure?) and I intend to keep my friends.

I did lose a few extended family members (second cousins) over the political thing, but I never considered them very close anyway.

On thing you have to remember is that everyone has a core set of values. I have a really good friend who is a devout Mormon, believe it or not, and I'm a somewhat spirtual agnostic. But my friend's core values and mine agree. So if your Republican friend still has a decent set of values, try to hold on to them, really good friends are rare enough in this world.

[catmandu57]

8. I had to

I quit drinking and had to walk away from all my buddies if I wanted to stay sober. I made new friends, though I lost the best one to cancer six years ago. Growth sometimes costs more than what we're willing to give up, but, sometimes you have to jettison the load to keep keeping on.

[Skip Intro]

9. Yes, and I've been jettisoned myself

About fifteen years ago, I guess, a light just went on and I suddenly saw these people more clearly than I ever had. I can't believe the mindset of the people I used to call friends. Narrow-minded, bigotted, racist, homophobic...

I ran into one the other day, and we talked for a little while. The guy hadn't changed at all, and it was really clear to me that this friendship was indeed over, and that was so for the best.

And I was jettisoned by a pal I really liked, and I have no idea why to this day - he just stopped being there, stopped really talking to me, and it was over. Not such a good feeling being on that side of the equation, especially not knowing why.

[Toby109]

10. Funny, but many of my oldest friends

from high school and college, whom I considered more liberal than me, actually like or at least tolerate Bush. And they resent my efforts to dissuade them.

[izzie]

11. It was par for my whole married life.

My husband did not like friends.Women all had strang nick names and I was not to have them around. He said I may keep his mother as a friend. Well I am not married now but it was strange.

[madmax]

12. Lost many high school friends to Vietnam

and it's after effects drugs, drinking and suicide. :(

[LuLu550]

17. Vietnam took its toll

I frequently speak about my antiwar involvement to social studies classes at the high school were I work. The thing that bothers me the most, and so many people don't get, is that our generation's losses due to that war are not all written on the Wall...

[populistmom]

13. I find myself stuck

Having children put a nail in the coffin of any social life a long time ago. Now I find my social life consists of mommy related activities where people talk about things I get tired of talking about these days. with maybe the exception of one friend, but she's a freeper, so I can't fully really feel comfortable with her either. I'm one of those people with many aquaintances, but only one really good friend (not the freeper) and she just moved to FL, so the last few months have been rough in that department.

[Nikia]

15. Transitions did that for me

We moved several times when I was a child and I lost those friends each time. I lost my high school friends when I graduated and have seen very few of them since. I thought that I had good college friends but I have lost touch with them. I had friends at both jobs I had since graduating besides my current one and lost touch with them as well. I have a few friends in my new town at work. I had to distance myself from one of them because it became apparent that her values were not my values and she had a hard time having female friends who did not drink excessively like she did. I have a good friend and am becoming friends with his wife that I am committed with remaining friends with even if our circumstances change. Good friends are worth keeping if they are true friends. I wish that I had made an effort to keep other good friends who I had moved away from but I had insecurity issues about fearing that they meant more to me than I meant to them.

[HEyHEY]

16. Been close

But I will always have a group of about 6 buddies that no matter where I am and who I'm with, I'd rather be with them. Depending on how much I've seen them lately. But we grew up together. Other than that, I have ditch friends on an induvidual basis for one reason or another.Unlike most people though, I have about five different groups of friends.


My old time buddies
Mel and her dowtown crew
My college buddies
French Mel and her french downtown crew
Gord and his drunken engineer friends


SO I never really get sick of anyone, and I have enough different views that I can always retreat to the group I feel the most like

[blondeatlast]

18. Yes, I'm afraid I have.

It wasn't that I was trying to move away from them, but I just lost interest. When I went to college, I just lost interest in my best friend who didn't. I made an entirely new set of friends who were politically aware, educated, and shared my interests. The last time we got together was when my son was about 3 weeks old.

He's now almost 7.

And I do look back with regret sometimes.

Edit: Post #9 reminded me: I knew things were'nt going to continue the first time she used the N-word and the G-word (for Latinas).

[ikojo]

21. When I moved to St Louis I did not know a soul

I had to move out of a terrible roommate situation. The roommate had lost her job and forged my name on a blank check. So, I left and moved to St Louis.

It was the best thing that ever happened to me because it forced me to become more self reliant. I had to find things to do on my own instead of depending upon someone else to set the agenda.

:bounce:

[toddzilla]

22. living in st. louis myself..

i know how hard it is to find things to do here :silly:

glad to see i'm not the only person that has done this..

[bikebloke]

23. Worlds apart now

We started drifting apart when I went travelling out into the world. I grew, while they remained stunted in front of the telly. And recently, I've disassociated myself from a friend whose rah-rah brownshirt rantings became offensive. I've reached the point where I don't want to waste my time with mediocre or yabbo company. Whether mates or romance.

[SOteric]

24. I've never actually had to 'cut myself off' from folks who

I no longer felt added anything to my life. We just outgrew each other. The time we spent together was farther between, briefer in nature and eventually dwindled substantially.

[Ellen Forradalom]

25. Yes, after breaking up with my fiance

I ditched the sorry lot of bar flies, night hawks, camp followers, basket cases, lounge lizards, adventuresses and other freaks of nature that came along with him. My life has been going along much more smoothly ever since.

[BiggJawn]

26. Friends??? What is "Friends"?

Classic story. She didn't like my friends because they were "too nerdy". so I lost track of them. Then when she threw me out, all of "our" friends were really HER friends, so, how'd that song go? "Alone again, natch-er-ruly"...

I've never bothered to make new friends, nor tried to look up the old ones.

I keep to myself. Don't drink, belong to no clubs, don't entertain (my apartment is an Orc's den).

[annonymous]

27. When I flunked out of college.

I believe a lot of the problem was the people I was hanging out with. They were not serious about their studies and liked to party.
I eventually decided the best thing to do was move away and attend another college.

[moof]

28. Found out that instead of friends they were sheeple

in the weeks after 9/11 it became apparent that most of the people that used to be thought of as friends had joined the ranks of the illogical or the skyjockey's club.