With the No-Call List Kiboshed, How Will You Deal with Telemarketers?

[bluestateguy]

I plan to increase my nastiness when one of these telemarketers dares to interrupt me in the inner sanctum of my apartment.

[wryter2000]

1. I still have the machine eom

eom

[lpbk2713]

19. Call Forward to RNC HQ at supper time.

.........

[XanaDUer]

2. If in a good mood,

quickly hang up.

bad,

put the telephone reciever down and say nothing.

Tho' I know these are just people trying to make a living, I am steamed about this shit with the no-call list!!!

[Maine Mary]

25. Was it you that did that other night?

Kept the phone off the hook I mean? If so Thanks! I was STARVING so I bought a sandwich out of the vending machine but had trouble trying to find the time to eat it between calls. It's either hit "stop calls" and sit in update time which ruins my productivity percentage or risk hearing a "beep" and having to speak w/a mouthful.

But I lucked out. I got someone who left the phone off the hook so I not only had time to eat but also got to listen to the news in the background. It was great! If it was you thanks! BTW call was statused as "not in" rather then "no sale" which means you'll probably hear from one of us again. I hope I get you. :-)

[Room101]

3. Here is how ...............

Celebrity sound boards:) I use them all the time, my own home made crank yankers.

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/soundboards.shtml

Edit: forgot link

[Elidor]

23. That site is a work of art

Fucking hilarious.

[xJlM]

4. I've got Caller ID and an answering machine

If I don't know who you are, you can talk to Mr. Spock... http://www.sillyhumor.com/answer/spock.wav

[Room101]

7. xJlM - That is great got anymore?

:)

[xJlM]

32. There's all kinds

Movie themes, tv show themes, you name it. I found that one simply through googling, but there are lots of others.

[Padraig18]

5. Like I always did

By asking them if they want me to describe what sort of sexy, slinky outfit I have my dog dressed in. It's never failed. :P

[ikojo]

6. My phone line is plugged into my computer...and my real

phone is a cell phone.

[slackmaster]

8. With extreme prejudice

I deliberately waste their time, lie to them, and say whatever I feel like saying.

[AlabamaDem]

9. ditto slackmaster

I'll act like I want to buy all the shit they're selling and make them explain everything in detail to me and continue to ask questions over and over. Finally when I get tired of it I'll "change my mind" and hang up.

[mvd]

10. I usually just hang up

After getting the gist of what they want. If I felt like it, I could tell them I'm sure the decision will be overturned, so be careful. :)

[gratuitous]

11. It's really very simple

I say, "Thank you for your call, but I'm not interested." I then put the handset back in the cradle and forget all about it. If the telemarketer is persistent, then I authorize the go codes and launch.

But let's face it, most of these folks put up with a lot of abuse all day long, and they're just trying to make some money. I can't get too bent out of shape about that. It doesn't cost anything and doesn't hurt to be kind ("Thank you for your call"), and maybe (maybe, maybe, maybe) in some teeny, tiny way, raises the level of civility in society just a hair's breadth. Even if it doesn't, I like to think it does.

[4_Legs_Good]

12. I've learned to do what's best for both of us...

The second I understand it's a telemarketer I say "Thank you, but I'm not interested, bye-bye" and hang up.

Easy as pie, and the last thing they want is to go through their whole speil and then have me say "Thank you, but I'm not interested". Time is of the essence for both of us.

david

Kucinich 2004

Arianna YES
Recall No

[DoNotRefill]

45. Don't forget...

"and please place me on your do not call list"

[HawkerHurricane]

13. Hand it to my son

He's 4, and likes talking on the phone.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

20. Hahahahaha!

That's a cute trick! :D

[HawkerHurricane]

21. Thank you

Credit where due, I got the idea from a 'Baby Blues' comic, where the father handed the phone to a teething baby.

[KamaAina]

14. I'm gonna buy me a beat-up, used saxophone

wait 'til they're in the middle of their spiel, then blow the biggest, loudest, sourest note I can, right into the mouthpiece.

OK, so the guy I know who actually did that (he already had the sax) only used it on auto-dialers, but I still laughed out loud for twenty solid minutes!

[Warpy]

15. Variation on the theme:

My mother used a cap pistol. She'd tell them where she'd like to aim it and then fire. It got rid of heavy breathers, too.

[goobergunch]

16. Presumably state-level do-not-call lists are still valid (n/t)

[Orangepeel]

17. Telemarketers don't bother me.

I never understood the hostility that people feel about it. Some people hate telemarketers with a passion that I would reserve for Tom Delay or somebody, not some poor shlub with a shit job.

True, I have some technological barriers (caller ID and voice mail). Also, my fax number is listed as my primary number and my "real" number (the one I give out) is a secondary number (same line, different ring). I didn't do that on purpose (it was the only way my fax would work), but it worked out well.

But I don't think it would be a big deal to me even if I couldn't afford the technology. First, I don't feel like I have to answer the phone just because it rings. If I'm eating or otherwise busy, I just ignore it. Second, when I do answer (which I do often because I want to be polled!), I just say, "sorry, not interested" and hang up (even if they are still talking).

I also just delete spam email. :shrug:

[Philostopher]

31. I've found Caller ID

And an answering machine reduced my hostility level considerably, just as having a 'junk mail' feature on my e-mail engine that shuffles the worst of the junk into the trash folder automatically (and an ISP that filters a lot of it out before it even gets to me). If I see 'out of area' or a number I don't recognize, I just don't pick up the phone -- no problem. If it's somebody we already do business with, and they're making a legitimate call, they'll leave a message.

I don't care one way or another about telemarketers -- I never do any business with anybody from a cold phone call. Never did, probably never will. No point wasting their time, no point letting them waste mine, no point tearing my hair out over it. If they have legitimate business with me, they'll talk to the machine.

[newyawker99]

52. Congrats nownow!! 600 posts!!

:toast:

[Maddy McCall]

37. You have never had a telemarketer wake a sleeping child, obviously.

Or a handful of stuff headed to the car when the phone rings as you are headed out.

I hate the calls with a passion. My home is my sanctuary and I don't want to deal with pushy salespeople here.

[Deja Q]

18. I agree, this corporate shit is going to have to end - by us

We, The People.

The law will help corporate preference and corporate rule.

This is a sad day for the world.

Not as sad as corporations who give good american jobs overseas because it's a "cost savings". Fuck, the media charmingly calls it a "cost savings" but they sure as hell don't say what is really SAID AND MEANT by "cost savings".

The media is so right-wing I could just die. I won't because that's what corporate america wants me to do, and I'd rather fight them than cater to them and not be an obstacle.

[bobthedrummer]

22. As a resident of Wisconsin

and signed up on our no-call list I don't get any.

[Twillig]

24. When they say "How are you today?"

I say: "you just said the magic words."

Click.

[havocmom]

26. get that #%#$!@#*! judges home and cell phone number and

forward your calls to him at suppertime

[VOX]

43. I like this idea!!!

Very tempting...:evilgrin:

[mlawson]

53. Gee, do you suppose that judge is a repuke????? n/t

[lynndew2]

27. Jim Florentine is great

http://www.jimflorentine.com/mp3s/Horny_Priests.mp3
http://www.jimflorentine.com/mp3s/retard-cell_phone.mp3
http://www.jimflorentine.com/mp3s/vacuum.mp3
http://www.jimflorentine.com/download.htm there are a few more free ones.

[Durtal]

28. Hey - use it as an opportunity to spread info

I'm surprised nobody else has mentioned this. Suppose Mr. or Mrs. Telemarketer calls up.

"Hello, Mr. Durtal? How are you today?"

"Well, not so great, you know."

"Oh.. um.. well, would you like to hear about..."

"You want to know why I'm not so great?"

"Certainly sir."

"It has to do with that piece of shit in the White House. Did you know that he's been working hard to take away overtime pay laws? Does that sound appealing to you?"

"...uh..."

"Did you know that he allowed members of Osama bin Laden's family to fly out of the country a few days after 9/11, while the rest of the nation was grounded, without those people being questioned? Why on earth would he do that?"

"Well, I don't know sir, but I do know about our new product named.."

"I don't know either. I think maybe he doesn't give a shit about working people. Like you, for instance. You like this job?"

"..."

"You get insurance benefits? No? What do you do about health care? What do you think of the fact that the US is the only industrialized nation in the world without a universal health care system?"

...

And so on, until they hang up on you.

[Maine Mary]

33. I love calls like that

I have to do telemarketing for a living to support my political habit. Seriously :-) I'm a Maine State Rep and would love nothing more then to discuss politics w/people but though I've never been specifically told not to, I don't bring up the subject for fear of losing my job. HOWEVER, if the customer brings it up then what can my boss say? I'd spend my entire shift discussing these subjects w/you if I could get away w/it. They start frowning if I'm on a call more then 45 minutes though.

I hope I get you on one of my calls. The only problem is that you and I would probably agree on most everything. I'd REALLY like to get a nasty R so I could verbally slap the sh*t outta him. In a nice way of course. ;-)

[Maddy McCall]

38. I am printing that out! That is great!!

I am printing that out for the very next call I receive! Excellent!

[Maine Mary]

39. Hey Durtal! Looks like you started something

It'll be cool to talk politics w/other DUers on the company dime! Thanks again!

[carpetbagger]

29. Take over the conversation. Start hitting them up for money.

Some of 'em actually try to keep up with it.

[Maine Mary]

34. What makes you think YOU could take over the conversation? LOL

Perhaps in some cases you can, but I'd like to see you try it w/me. Another fun call that'd be... :evilgrin:

[populistmom]

30. I have Caller ID and usually don't answer, but sometimes...

I answer and tell them to take me off the calling list or just tell them to stop calling.

[dorktv]

35. *I* listen to them if they promise to listen about Dean.

[Maine Mary]

36. Not a problem

We could also discuss how many candidate threads there were in GD that day. :-)

[Fozzledick]

40. Memorize and recite the following:

I never respond to telemarketing. I consider it an unacceptable nuisance. (Please) remove me from your list and do not call again.

(Tone of voice can vary from formally polite to irritated to seething hostility (building to a crecendo on "DO NOT CALL AGAIN!!") depending on your mood and opinion of the caller.)

[VOX]

42. Good response. Welcome to DU!

:toast:

[DarthVader]

41. call list

We have a 'no-call' list here in OK. Any out of state teleweinies get as curt 'f**k off'.

[DoNotRefill]

44. Obscenities?

Either that, or make like it's a 1-900 sex line.

[arwalden]

46. Verizon's "Do-Not-Disturb" Service Requires An Extra 4-Digit PIN...

... to make my phone ring.

You dial my number and you get a recording that lets you know that I don't want to be disturbed.

Next... you enter the 4 digit PIN and my phone rings. If you don't know the PIN, then you get detoured to voice mail.

Verizon's Do-Not-Disturb service also allows me to specify 15 numbers that automatically ring-through without having to enter the PIN.

IT's FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!

I now have total control over my phone again! If you know me, then you know my PIN. If not, then you get to leave a message... so I'm not completely cut off from the world. (And telemarketers never leave messages on my voicemail.)

[LWolf]

47. "I'm interested. Hold on a minute. I'll be right back."

Put phone down, go happily about my business, come back 20 minutes later and hang it up.

[BiggJawn]

48. "traurig, spreche ich nicht Englisch."

"Und poot me awn yoo Do Not Call leest, alzo! Dumkopf!"

Delivered in an "AHH-Nuld" voice, omne of my better ones...

[RebelOne]

49. What I usually do

Say thanks, but no thanks and hang up on them.

[northzax]

50. eh, kill your telephone

they are not allowed to call you on a mobile phone, and home telephones are expensive and a waste. I've been without for a year now, and don't miss it at all, my mobile is a little more expensive than a land line, but I'd have it anyway, so why pay verizon for an unused phone? plus, you can't take your home phone on vacation, when you move, on business trips, or to the beach.

[MissMillie]

51. I plan not to answer the phone

People who know and love me, and anyone who needed an emergency # for my son have the number for my cell phone.

[Hubert Flottz]

54. Harshly!

:bounce: