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Many of you will recall a rant I posted before the election on my crazy-ass, annoying officemate, a woman with a direct line from her brain to her mouth so that every single inane thought she has comes spilling forth and is spoken aloud, a woman who, anytime she hears a swear word (such as "damn" "hell" or even "gosh darn it") shrieks loudly and covers her ears. A woman so stupid she uses the printer to print eighty copies of the same document because it's faster and simpler than the copy machine (no it's not) and so helpless that when the damn thing runs out of paper she simply assumes it's broken and stops working.
Today, was the final straw. Today, annoying office mate (who once sang for twenty minutes straight a tuneless, nonsense song about the decision whether or not to get her teeth whitened) deployed...
:scared:
CHRISTMAS MUSIC!
No shit. Honest-to-fucking god, Christmas music. Played at a volume which could charitably be described as extremely audible. I asked her to turn it down, and she ACTUALLY SAID, "But then you wouldn't be able to hear it,"
"That's sort of the point. I'm trying not to hear it now, but it's so loud I can hear it through my headphones, over my music,"
At this point, our boss walks in. Annoying office mate can't see her however, and says, to the tune of Bing Crosby's Silver Bells (which was NOT the song actually playing)
"Modem B! Modem B! Santa won't bring you no presents! Modem B! Modem B! Soon it will be Christmas Day!"
"Look, I don't even like Christmas music. I don't want to hear it, particularly before Thanksgiving. So please, turn it down or use some earphones,"
And she sang, to the tune of Silent Night, which was also NOT the tune playing, "Modem's a Grinch! Modem's a Grinch! She don't like Christmas! What a witch!"
At which point, our boss, who had been standing at the door with a very confused look on her face said, "Okay, that's enough. Modem Butterfly, why don't you go out for lunch while Annoying Office Mate and I have a meeting,"
And so here I am, an hour-and-a-half later (I don't think Boss will begrudge me a long lunch after that), alone in my quiet office. Annoying Office Mate is not here. Boss' office door is closed. I am working in blessed silence.
For now, at least.
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