Cry, cry, sniff, sniff. I miss my baby. :(

[rbnyc]

:(

I went back to work on his 6 week birthday. That was 2 1/2 weeks ago. I feed him in the morning, then give him to his daddy so I can get ready and go. By the time I get home, he's about ready to go to sleep for the night. I get to spend about an hour with him. I feel lucky if he wakes up hungry at 2 am, 'cause then I get to spend at least another 20 minutes with him.

Now today, daddy took him to his grandma and grandpa's house. They were supposed to be home around 8:00, but instead they just started eating at 8:00, so they'll be home probably around 11:00. And after a car ride, he'll be crashed out for sure.

Like I said in another thread, sometimes I feel like I gave birth to a breast pump. My breast pump and I have bonded very well.

I love my job. My promotion is great, and really important to our future. I'm so lucky I make enough money that my husband can stay home with our son. It made sense for me to work and him to stay home, because I like my job, have great benefits, and keep getting promoted, whereas my husband really likes taking care of the house and cooking, and it turns out he's really great with the baby...plus he hates jobs, he's never found a way to make money that didn't make him feel horrible, besides playing music (which he still does.)

But I just feel really heartbroken being away from my baby all day, and now all night. He's so little. Does he think I don't want to be with him? Does he miss me? Does he not miss me? Does he know I'm his mommy?

Working moms and dads, how do you deal?

[Bunny]

1. He'll be fine. And so will you.

I promise. And now, a big :hug: for you and baby!

[rbnyc]

4. Hi Bunnyj!

He does have a great big huge family. He met his Aunt Ginny for the first time tonight. That's why they stayed for dinner. Ginny is visiting from California, so she won't get to see him much at all, so it's nice for them that he's there.

Thanks for the hug and kind words.

:)

[Darth_Kitten]

2. Not a working mom, but be easy on yourself!

You sound like a loving, concerned mom. :) Little guy is really lucky to have you. :)

[rbnyc]

8. Thanks Darth_Kitten.

I guess after 9 months of having him actually inside my body, a little separation anxiety is pretty normal.

I should use this time to let my cats know that I still love them.

LOL

[The Straight Story]

3. Understand that!

My wife spends 3 weeks at a time in CA visiting her parents several times a year and takes our daughter. Me I am home working usually. Gets quiet here, my only company is the dog. She calls daddy from over 2000 miles away ad carries the phone around showing me toys and playing with me. Breaks my heart.

[rbnyc]

5. Aw...

3 weeks is a long time. How old is your daughter?

[The Straight Story]

13. three and a half

She calls me everyday at work and wants me to come home and play dolls. First thing I do when I get home is get the doctor kit out and we play (the dr kit is an old tube tester with lots of switches and dials - may not work to test tubes but it works to fuel her imagination)

[rbnyc]

18. So cool!

You sound like a great dad. Thanks for getting me smiling.

[The Straight Story]

20. I went to chicago on business recently

She called me every night - daddy, when you coming home from e-cago to play? I was able to cut it short a day but by the time I got home that night she was in bed asleep. She woke up in the morning and when she say me said "I'm dreaming daddy, you're home!" I told her she was not dreaming and I got up and we played. Nothing better than being a dad.

[yvr girl]

6. I'm not a mom, but I feel so lucky to be a Canadian

Here we get 6 months (paid) maternaty leave for the mother and 6 months (paid) paternal leave (for either the mother or father). We don't get our full salary, but it is equivalent to what we would get on employment insurance. Some companies also top up the amount. Six weeks just isn't enough.

[rbnyc]

10. We get 12 weeks unpaid...

...so I could only afford to take 6. I qualified for disability because I had a C-Section. My disability pay was...




...wait for it...




....




...can you guess?...


...



...


$20/week. That's $110 after taxes for 6 weeks!

My God!!

[yvr girl]

16. I think ours is about $714 after taxes every 2 weeks

Call me judgemental, but not allowing people to take care of their babies in the best possible way is not family values to me.

[rbnyc]

19. Yeah, you've got that right.

This country makes dangerously little sense.

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

11. Yeah we pretty much suck on that count here, too

(man we suck).

Clinton signed the Family Medical and Leave Act when he first took office (bush I refused to sign it for some reason) and it allows for 12 weeks but it's totally unpaid.

And your employer has to have more than fifty employees in order to be able to take advantage of it.

Other than that, we suck.

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

7. I cried a lot

and I spent every spare moment I could with her.

I was a high school teacher when my daughter was born and went back when she was eight weeks old. The only good part was, four months later, the school year was out and I had resigned. I didn't find another job until December so I got to spend the next six months at home with her.

I don't want to say this but it didn't get easier until she started kindergarten. At that point I knew it wouldn't matter if I were home or not, she'd still be at school.

I would have loved for her to be home with my husband. I had her in daycare, which worried the shit out of me but fortunately I found a really superb one.

It's ok, he definitely knows who his mom is, she's the milk bar!

On edit, we bonded well and have been VERY close her entire life. So don't worry! Make up for it this weekend!

[rbnyc]

14. Glad you found a good daycare.

I would not be able to deal if I had to put him in daycare.

Oh, I do have a 3-day weekend. I took tomorrow off because we're going to a wedding. They welcomed the baby, which is so great of them. We're just going to stay near the door so we can slip out if he fusses.

[cally]

9. I remember feeling awful when I went back to work

That's normal and your child does remember you. To relieve one worry, I've never heard of a child speaking the first word or walking the first step for a caregiver if the parents are involved. Your child will wait.

From the opposite perspective, I was the stay at home parent. Now my children are teens. They rebel against me and seek out their father. I know that's normal but wow I don't like it. I've come to realize that most of parenting just ebbs and flows. Your husband may be number one for a few years, then you will be. It all works out. :hug:

[rbnyc]

15. I put him in his swing the other day...

...and turned it on, and my husband said, "Don't turn it on, he doesn't like that anymore. He can see farther away now and likes to be still so he can look around the room." I missed that.

But things change so fast. One of us i bound to miss plenty of things like that. I will take heart that you're right about stuff like first word or first step.

It must be tough to have teenagers. They can be mean. They don't really know how much they can hurt you. But they really do love you. Of course, you know that.

;-)

[cally]

One other word of advice...I've learned the hard way

that my child doesn't like when I do something but loves when my husband does. You both will have your own relationship with your son. He may hate the swing but when you put him in it he likes it. Kids are just baffling. :-)

Teenagers are very tough. Much tougher than I ever expected. I have two wonderful teens but they do things that hurt me without realizing it. Sigh.

[BoX o BooX]

12. You have been reported to Doctor Laura.

How dare you and baby's-daddy have a non-traditional parenting arrangement? Traditions are there for a reason.

If you keep this up, your baby may grow up too "open-minded," which leads to a lack of the proper values. Please consult a God-fearing white couple in your neighborhood for instructions on how to properly conduct your life. I fear you may be bound for Hell, like the rest of the godless commie-pinko-faglovers on this site.

[rbnyc]

17. LOL!

I refused to have him baptized as well. (Husband's side of the family is Catholic.)

[DemExpat]

21. I can so imagine!

I had the luck to have the Dad of my kids love to work at a well-paying job, so I did not need to go out the door....I'm such a sucker it would have torn me up.

But I really believe that your son is so lucky to have such an involved Dad with him most of the day, everyday. This will pay huge dividends when your little boy gets a bit older.

:kick: for Dads!

and a big :hug: for you!

DemEx

[rbnyc]

23. Thanks.

My husband is awesome. We're both lucky. In fact, we've said "I'm so lucky" to each other every single day since we met.

:loveya:

[rbnyc]

22. Must Post Pictures!

Can't wait to get some more recent ones to share.

[ScreamingMeemie]

24. Look at that sweet little face!! I'd miss him too. Soon he'll be right

back where he belongs. When my daughter was born, for about 10 months I worked two jobs. She was sleeping when I left in the morning and sleeping when I came home at night. Plus she slept through the night. :( It's a really tough thing. Make all those moments together count. I'm sure he misses you too! :hug:

[rbnyc]

25. Hi Mrs. Grumpy!

I know, isn't it sad? Sleeping through the night is supposed to be a good thing, but not when it's the only time you're home!

[Pithlet]

28. He is so cute!

:hug: to you. He is so tiny! My littlest is already a year old, and no more babies for me :cry:

[rbnyc]

29. It's been a year already!

Wow. Do you have any pictures?

[Pithlet]

30. Here's one

in his Halloween costume at his 1st birthday bash.

[SarahB]

26. I'm sorry you're sad.

With most of my children, I was lucky to be working part-time (or in school part-time) when they were babies. Sometimes, I curse it because I did get very behind career-wise, but on the other hand I feel lucky at the same time.
It's tough though- that ache that a mom has to be with her baby and not being able to be there all the time. I mean, even when you know they're being cared for by someone else who also loves them, it's still hard. You're a great mom (pumping itself is hard, hard work) and he knows you're the one there for him at night and he has his daddy to get close to in a special way also during the day. Not only will he do OK, it sounds like he'll thrive. That's the thing about being a mom though- you're forever wearing your heart on the outside from then on.

:hug:

[rbnyc]

27. I just had no idea the emotional impact.

No matter what you try to imagine and no matter what other parents tell you and no matter how deeply you've ever loved before, you just can't know how MUCH you'll love your baby until you're baby is born. It's just out of this world.

:)

[GreenPartyVoter]

34. Aw, now see. I spend all day with mine, but after tha post I feel the

need to sneak in and watch them sleep. *g*

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[DS1]

31. Hey, congrats on the sweet job!

:-)

too bad about the hours, but money doesn't suck

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

32. Nah he doesn't think that :)

No advice on the being apart thing..I have no expertise. :hug:

[GreenPartyVoter]

33. *hugs* Snuggle him awake or not!

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[YellowRubberDuckie]

35. I'm sorry your so sad....

And I have no advice whatsoever because I'm not a mom, but I send these :hug: and I'll say a little prayer for you guys. Have a nice night.
Duckie