Breaking News from the Onion: Poor Win Election for Rich

[OrwellwasRight]

http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4045

Someone should post this on the Freeper site...

WASHINGTON, DC—The economically disadvantaged segment of the U.S. population provided the decisive factor in another presidential election last Tuesday, handing control of the government to the rich and powerful once again.

"The Republican party—the party of industrial mega-capitalists, corporate financiers, power brokers, and the moneyed elite—would like to thank the undereducated rural poor, the struggling blue-collar workers in Middle America, and the God-fearing underpriviledged minorities who voted George W. Bush back into office," Karl Rove, senior advisor to Bush, told reporters at a press conference Monday. "You have selflessly sacrificed your well-being and voted against your own economic interest. For this, we humbly thank you."

Added Rove: "You have acted beyond the call of duty—or, for that matter, good sense."

According to Rove, the Republicans found strong support in non-urban areas populated by the people who would have benefited most from the lower-income tax cuts and social-service programs championed by Kerry. Regardless of their own interests, these citizens turned out in record numbers to elect conservatives into office at all levels of the government.

"My family's been suffering ever since I lost my job at the screen-door factory, and I haven't seen a doctor for well on four years now," said father of four Buddy Kaldrin of Eerie, CO. "Shit, I don't even remember what a dentist's chair looks like... Basically, I'd give up if it weren't for God's grace. So it's good to know we have a president who cares about religion, too."

More...

[LisaM]

1. The whole page is funny. Thanks for the laugh.

I like the one about the mall security guards dispatched to Iraq.

[ikojo]

2. So, now the Onion is a real news site?

When did they abandon fake news?

Sad to say, this is what happened last week. There was even a NYT column about it, "Living Poor, Voting Rich"

[Bossy Monkey]

3. Up there with "God Angrily Clarifies 'Don't Kill' Rule"

The Onion and the Daily Show are about all the truth available in the media these days.

[OrwellwasRight]

4. Don't forget Al Franken and the DU (eom)

[LynzM]

5. Love it!

Loved the God clarifies one, too. You're right, that and TDS are about it, for real news. Sad, that our only real, biting news is 'fake news'...