So, a cop comes to my door on election night....

[Cyndee_Lou_Who]

and tells me that my kid threw another kid's shoe into the river. Parents want me to buy new shoes.

After getting the WHOLE story - turns out that this girl threw the damn shoe at my kid's head (and hit him, mind you). He chose not to throw back at her, but got threw in the river instead.

Girl tells me "these ain't no cheap shoes, either".

My thought process is... if the shoes were so fucking valuable, why did you throw one at him?

Should I...

A) shut up and buy her new shoes
B) offer to split the cost down the middle, both kid's were stupid
c) tell her to piss off and stop throwing things at people and they won't get thrown in the river

??

[name not needed]

1. C

[jdots]

15. D buy her a clue n/t

[Cyndee_Lou_Who]

25. Will my local department store carry those?

If not, I bet I can find on ebay, huh?

[Worst Username Ever]

2. Tell them to piss off n/t

[fudge stripe cookays]

3. c) tell her to piss off and stop throwing things at people

Maybe she'll learn not to throw them at people in the process.

[JeebusB]

4. C n/t

.

[Jack Schitt]

5. I vote "C".

[molly]

6. C - and tell assault charges will follow

[rabid_nerd]

14. what molly said

n/t

[Warpy]

17. Best suggestion yet

Threatening their little bitc...darling will get them to stop calling the cops REAL fast.

[Kadie]

21. excellent idea.

let them know you will be following up with the police offices that came to your door.

[DUreader]

42. exactly, up the ante .

[Magrittes Pipe]

7. Tell the cops you're pressing charges for assault.

[Maiden England]

8. call the police and charge this girl with assault for throwing the shoe

at your kid.

[patrice]

A. with a sweet smile. n/t

[one_true_leroy]

9. B) Kids are Kids. She shouldn't, he shouldn't.

[Bjornsdotter]

10. Who did the parents vote for?

Bush voters....fuck 'em let them buy the shoes, and have girl arrested for assault (kidding) ((not really)) (((kidding)))


Kerry voters....offer to split cost

[bloom]

11. c

If they want to continue the fight... you could get charges brought up against her.

[TomClash]

12. C

[MercutioATC]

13. Tell the parents that your kid is filing assault charges.

See if they want to push the shoe issue any more.

First harmful action: SHE assaulted your son.

Case closed.

[zoeybug]

16. Give her one shoe. N/T

[La Lioness Priyanka]

18. dont offer to pay at all

[RetroLounge]

19. C) plus assault charges.

RL

[hlthe2b]

20. DEPENDS

IF you have witnesses to the girl throwing the shoe at your son's head....

[Cyndee_Lou_Who]

22. Yes, 2 other boys witnessed this.

[hlthe2b]

54. Get their statements (in the presence of their parents & have all sign)

If you wish to be magnanimous offer to split the cost, since your son bears some responsibility, but I certainly would not pay all. Send a copy of all statements signed by both the boys and their parents to the parents of the girl, if they continue to cause problems and refuse your generous offer. Tell them that you will be content to take the witnesses statements with your own son's to court and let them sort it out...just my opinion.

[Elidor]

23. Buy her one shoe and throw it at her head

[Cyndee_Lou_Who]

26. Thanks, that made me laugh the most!!

[LauraT28]

24. Don't give her shit....

[Pert_UK]

27. d) have her arrested as a terrorist under the Patriot Act...

claim there was a bomb in the shoe and your kid was just trying to save the day, then invade the other kid's house as a pre-emptive strike against potential future shoe-related agression, but ensure that you fail to secure the family's shoe supplies while you're there.

You might also like to consider dropping 10,000lbs of boots on their next family wedding, then giving their neighbours shoes to throw at them, and which the neighbours can throw back at you in 10 years time when they change sides.

:evilgrin:

[Cyndee_Lou_Who]

29. Man, I love DU... you guys are the absolute, coolest!!

I knew I'd get the best advice here!

[PoohStuff]

32. I'm crying I'm laughing so hard....

TY TY TY this is the hardest I've laughed in about a week.

[Pert_UK]

44. You're very welcome - trying for some transatlantic humour to

lighten the pain.

Glad you liked it.

Can I go home from work yet?

P.x.

[PoohStuff]

45. It worked very well

Tell your boss I said you can go. Doesn't hurt to try... plus the reaction on his/her face would be priceless.

[Cyndee_Lou_Who]

48. You bet. Go home. That was classic.

[Pert_UK]

51. Cheers....am trying to leave now....I have tomorrow off.

Some fine red wine will be drunk tonight, but the champagne I put in to chill on Tuesday will not be opened for a while, sadly....

P.

[PoohStuff]

28. I don't think B counts, I may be wrong.... so C

Your kid was smart enough not to throw the shoe back but instead prevent the shoe flinger from throwing the shoe back at him again. Once that happened, the shoe flinger wised up and realized that if she threw the second shoe she'd be walking home in her socks. And since they were expensive her parents can buy her another pair and hopefully teach her that shoes belong on her feet and not hurdling through the air at someone.

[sandnsea]

30. Why'd she throw the shoe?

What did your son say that got her so mad? If it was bullying or sexist or incredibly mean, then you've got more than a shoe problem. Otherwise, she took her shoe off her foot, she set the chain of events into action, she's responsible for the consequences.

[Cyndee_Lou_Who]

33. They were both calling names, she started chasing him.....

... she told her friend to hold him down so she could hit him, he ran, shoe flew.

Now... these are 13 year olds. My son is about 110 lbs... she's at LEAST double that.

[one_true_leroy]

49. sounds like a crush...

:loveya: :loveya: :loveya: OOO LAA LAA!!

[Willy Lee]

31. Today I choose C

Next week I may be feeling nicer.

[baldguy]

Like asking for the bullets back after shooting someone.

I think the parents need to teach their child manners & responsibility.

[rbnyc]

34. C

I think your son's reaction was appropriate, and I hope the cop was only relaying the other parent's message and not advocating their position.

[Cyndee_Lou_Who]

35. And.... the cop gave him a lecture on "agression"!!

and he retorted that agression would have been to throw AT HER!! And he contended that he chose AGAINST aggression (he's a liberal).

[PoohStuff]

41. Bravo BRAVO

ah, I hope when I have kids they will say witty and smart things too. Maybe you should offer her parents shoeless courses on teaching their own child how to not act aggressively.

[CanuckAmok]

36. E) cut her foot off.

Problem solved.

Thought: I have GOT to stop reading those Old Testament comic books I found in the basement.

[Spinzonner]

37. Tell the parents ...

If the shoe flits, bear it.

[skygazer]

38. Why a shoe?

Who stops to take off their shoe so they can throw it at someone? Seems very silly to me. I think you should choose C and point out to her parents that technically, she's the one who threw her shoe away. And, yes, if they give you a hard time, file assault charges. Why not?

My kids would all have the good sense to throw rocks instead of shoes. I'd kill 'em if they threw their shoes at someone. Little hoodlums.

[barb162]

39. maybe tell the cop you want the little shit charged with assault on

your son and that will shut up her dumbfuck parents.

[GingerSnaps]

40. Tell the parents to give her a boot and call her "Shoebooty"

I watch old episodes of "All in the Family".

[ND_Democrat]

43. Strap on some scuba gear and go treasure hunting

for the shoe that is

[one_true_leroy]

50. did you know...

that was BB king's original nickname?

[zbdent]

46. And the cop had proof because . . . ?

What proof?

[Rabrrrrrr]

47. C - by throwing, she gave up possession. It then became free property.

Her act of throwing was an act that says "I no longer wish to own this shoe. I am giving this shoe away. It is no longer mine."

And, especially since she used it as a weapon, there is good precedent for it becoming instantly a free item to whomever picks it up first. In all battles and combat situations, one is free to pick up any weapons that one's enemy has dropped, thrown, or otherwise attempted to use against you.

And your son was, as far as I am concerned, morally and ethically free to take possession of the shoe and do with it as he wanted.

If she doesn't want her possessions thrown away, she shouldn't be the first one to throw them.

You have no obligation - morally or ethically - to compensate the family for the shoe.

However, since they were both calling names, and since being kind and compassionate is always a good thing even if the enemy doesn't care, an apology from the boy to the girl might be a good gesture, and also an admittance from both parties that they were wrong by letting it get out of control.

[KinkyDem]

52. Ask first ...

did you vote for Bush?

If yes, press charges and sue in civil court.

If no, offer to ignore the whole thing, let by gones be by gones and offer to help this girl find better ways to deal with her anger.

[HEyHEY]

53. Press assualt charges - then buy the shoes

[Terran]

55. Definitely "C"

The parents have no case. It's a small claims case and they would lose.

[WannaJumpMyScooter]

56. How about a different perspective...

cut off one of her feet and throw it at the mother?

[denverbill]

57. Offer to pay for the shoes and have the girl charged with assault.

If they want to make that trade-off, fine.

[Cyndee_Lou_Who]

58. UPDATE on K-Swiss-Gate

I called the mom. I started civil, and asked her how my son obtained the shoe in the first place. Mom said that the girl threw it on the ground to show she was angry. I said... that's not the story that I was told. I said, "look, both kids were wrong, I will pay half." She threatened to press charges and told me I'd have to pay court costs.

Thanks to the great folks at DU, I argued my case well... and after a few minutes of heated discussions, she conceded. I immediately walked over and gave her the money.

Thanks to all of you for the great advice, and even BETTER satire, what would a girl do without you all? :yourock:

[jor_mama]

59. Wait a second ... this was from Austin Powers, no?

The cop had time for this nonsense?!?!

D) Kids will be kids. Tell the little girl's parents to go get a new pair.

"A shoe? Who throws a shoe?"

[Cyndee_Lou_Who]

62. I know... I told her calling the cops was silly. I am a grown up.

I am in a community where a smashed pumpkin will bring 3 squads. Thankfully, low-crime - but they get over-involved in EVERY FUCKIN' THING!

[MazeRat7]

60. C - and be sure to add a solid FUCK YOU as the tag line.

[MrScorpio]

61. C

No judge would rule against you

[jmowreader]

63. The Compassionate Conservative answer

Buy the girl a pair of cheap canvas sneakers in Size 15.

When they complain that (1) they're not the shoes your son threw in the river and (2) they're big enough for three people, inform them that they asked you to buy new shoes, you bought new shoes, what more could you possibly want?

[PittPoliSci]

64. C.

simple. just laugh at the cop and always take your kid's side. wish my parents would've done that once in a while.

[Carson]

65. When did such matters become a situation in which to call the police??

Good grief. If my son was involved with something like that, my first reaction would NOT be to call the cops. I'd speak with the parents personally to see if the situation could be resolved.

Cops have more important things to deal with than this childish crap.

When I was a kid, my brother (at age 13) got into a fight with another kid from down the street. The two sets of parents got together to work out the situation. No cops, no lawsuits.

Where did all these police-happy, lawsuit-loving parents come from?? These are kids, fer Christ's sake, and sometimes they WILL act childish.

[Cyndee_Lou_Who]

66. e-fucking-xactly

[ShaneGR]

67. I'd say A, maybe B, but definitely not C

Whatever you do, don't prolong it.

[Liberal_Andy]

68. Gotta go with "C"

:beer:

[Politicub]

69. WWJJD?

What would Judge Judy do?

:shrug: