Is this too far over the relationship line

[mdmc]

Hello and happy Halloween DU!

I'm a 30 something single straight male. I really haven't had much luck in the relationship department lately. Now, with the holidays fast approaching, I feel the need to bond.

Anywho, I don't meet all that many eligible young ladies.

I was thinking of getting my holiday cards out early this year. I was thinking of adding a line saying something like, "I hope that during this upcoming new year I find someone special to share my time with. Please keep me in mind if you know any eligible young ladies."

Here are my questions, DU:
1] How desperate is this (not very, desperate, very desperate)?
2] How should my tag line read?
3] Should I do this?
4] Is being alone all that bad considering the alternative (writing a holiday card like this).

Help me out DU!
Peace and low stress,
mdmc

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

1. Go to a Kerry victory celebration on Tuesday

Ms right will be there waiting for you to buy her a victory drink. I promise.

[Maddy McCall]

4. Excellent advice!

[mdmc]

11. I'll be at Dem HQ on election night

but there won't be too many eligable ladies there.
Perhaps if I go to Hinchey's celebration up in Kingston, http://www.house.gov/hinchey/
I bet there will be some ladies there.

[Maddy McCall]

16. Hey, you never know...

What about bars and places around town where people will be celebrating?

I am not a "singles bar" type person, but the crowd that will be out on Tuesday night won't be your typical bar crowd. Lots of people will be eager to be out celebrating with other Kerry supporters, including some nice, eligible young women. :-)

[mike_c]

2. dude, a personals ad is less likely to make the folks...

...on your xmas card list uncomfortable!

[mdmc]

5. The folks on my Christmas list know me

and know what I'm looking for. Is it too much (your post sounds like my card is a WAY BAD idea).

[mike_c]

12. just saying that *I'd* be uncomfortable about receiving it....

I dunno-- on the one hand I'd feel sympathy for a friend in need-- and in my case a certain amount of empathy as well!-- but on the other hand I'd feel the need to try and help, and that would leave me feeling a bit powerless and like I hadn't helped when somehow I should have.

But if everyone perceives it as humor rather than pathos, that's different. Just my $0.02!

on edit-- if you get more replies than you can handle, PM me....

[molly]

3. I would say something humorous like

here I am 30 something and still single - can you believe it! If you need a single at your holiday party - I'm available.

[supernova]

6. Accept any and all holiday invitations

or host an event yourself. Even a Sunday afternoon house-warming is fine too.

Just get out there. :hi:

And you can always politely make your request with the hosts of said events. It's there job to introduce people and make them feel welcome. :-)

[belladonna]

7. You could always hop on the casting couch

Shameless plug for my thread.... can't believe it hasn't been locked yet :shrug:

[mdmc]

9. what in the world are you talkin about

:hi: link?

[belladonna]

15. I'm doing interviews

Or at least I am until someone gets me locked :D

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x1912472

[mdmc]

19. perhaps that will work for me

I'd be looking for an intern, I guess. Not a boy toy. :~)

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

8. Any Dances of Universal Peace meetings in your area?

That's a good place to meet nice people. That's where I met my husband.

[DS1]

10. I can't see that possibly working.

Your willingness to do something about your situation is a good start, but I think you're essentially putting up a giant billboard that says 'Nobody wants me - and you likely won't either' (or words to that effect).

Try the aloof bastard approach for a bit :D

[mdmc]

14. mercy

how desperate!

[Orangepeel]

13. very desperate

there's nothing wrong with asking your friends if they know anyone that might be a good match for you, but don't put it on your holiday card.

[leftofthedial]

17. oh, man. that's pathetic. weak.

makes you sound like you aren't getting any.

Let me know if it works.

[mdmc]

20. lol!

I'll keep you informed. :~)

[skygazer]

18. I can answer number 4 for you

Being alone is not all that bad. And in my experience, you often don't find someone suitable to share your life until you are content in that life. Desperation often makes people latch onto someone too quickly, often an inappropriate someone.

Only you can decide if your Christmas card list would understand and approve of your note. But my suggestion would be to try to embrace yourself (if that doesn't sound too touchy-feely). Do some volunteer work or join a club or take some lessons in something you've always wanted to do. Don't do it to meet people - do it because it's something you enjoy. If you approach life like that, you will be a complete and fulfilled person and those people are far more likely to find someone who likes them than a needy, unsure one.

I hope this makes at least a little sense. I found my soulmate when I was 40. I had just the week before told a friend that I was so content in where I'd found myself in life and that I had no desire whatsoever to find a man or get into a serious relationship. And in walked the man who, incidentally, was at the same place.

[AndyTiedye]

21. 1. Very 2. Don't do it. 3. Don't Do it.

4. I don't think embedding personal ads in your xmas cards is the
best alternative, let alone the only one.

Get out and dance!

Ride the Music

AndyTiedye

[ropi]

22. answers

1. Very Desperate; This will make your Xmas list persons uncomfortable. If you really want them to help, just call a few who you trust and ask them. Furthermore, it gives you a chance to catch up with them in 'voice' and not in a letter.

2. "All I want for Xmas. . . "

3. Honestly, No. I'd go with the personal ad idea that another Du'er posted. That's a good idea and the ads can be generated in a way to where you attract who you wish to attract. Part of the dating fun is meeting new people and learning about yourself in the process.

4. Why fall into the entire notion of being alone = unhappiness. Okay, so you're thirty and single. This is not 19th century, you're not an 'old maid', you still have a lot of life ahead of you (can't believe I am writing this to someone my own age!), and you're young. I can hear all those who are a bit older and wiser than us laughing and saying.... he's so young...why worry! Being alone does not equal unhappiness. If you feel the need to bond, give your time to various causes and Xmas or Holiday volunteer posts. If you stop focusing all the energy in the notion that you are alone and need to bond, you may discover that Ms. Right is close-by.

Most Importantly--I wish you luck in whichever choice you make. For some, I realize that finding the right person is important. And, I am certain that you will find her when it is time. For the moment, take stock in all the good that you bring as an individual and write down all those qualities that you seek in another person. If you do not exhibit those qualities, then consider working on those qualities within yourself and soon enough--after having worked on those qualities--you may find that the result will bring the person of your dreams right to you.

[mdmc]

23. thanks...

I don't mind being alone.
I'm okay.
I'm young.
:kick:

[ropi]

24. you're welcome

:-)