The official "another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody" thread

[short bus president]

Really, I just wanted to start an "official" thread. I don't think I've ever started an "official" thread before. I feel so... "official."

But then, it's really not even Saturday night, yet. I know this, you see, because I'm not yet drunk.

Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! My first "official" thread, and I screwed it up already! Where's my chris farley smacking himself on the forehead icon? Must be off hiding with the fucking manual. Damned scheming nonexistent things!

[Deja Q]

1. Well, here I am!

I'd love to drink, but I can't while on Zoloft. :-(

Still, virtual booze is a good substitute. :D

[short bus president]

3. have a virtual drink, then

:toast:

I'm leaning towards excessive amounts of marijuana, or possibly some intra-ocular drano for my evening buzz. Plus the beers, of course. But they're good for my heart. ;-)

[FreedomFry]

2. So OK, it's not Saturday night, but ...

... I bet you got some money 'cause you just got paid.
:7

[short bus president]

4. Alas, no.

I am poor, unmotivated, lazy as all hell, and scavery, to boot. I don't get much of anything that ends in "aid." Except Raid. I always buy Raid brand bug killer, you know, for when there's bugs.

[Elidor]

5. What's more, you DO have somebody

And I hope she beats hell out of you, you incompetent pigfucker.

ps. I'd offer you a beer, but I only have 12 left.

[short bus president]

6. Er... uh...

not so much with the "having." We have recently become estranged. That's really all I can say about it now.

[Elidor]

7. *making appointment to have foot surgically removed from mouth*

I'm sorry. Hell, you can have one of my beers after all.

What can I say about women? They're cute and they smell good. And they'll drive you slowly insane. I hope things work out for both of you.

[short bus president]

8. Thanks, bud

:toast:

[SarahB]

9. I think I'll have something tonight.

I'll take one. I've got someone I seem to be perpetually stuck with. Not forever, but it feels that way right now. There's someone I like a lot who's both far away and having a pretty tough time right now that I'd rather be with at the moment instead of in this asexual, tense, trying-to-walk-on-pins-and-needles existence that is my life. So here I am-> on D freakin' U. :party:

[short bus president]

10. I'm not sure what all we've got to hand out, here

Hell, it looks like we might be down to Bud Light and Hot Egg Drop enemas. How do you like yer eggs? ;-)

[SarahB]

11. I'd rather...

Amstel and something with batteries. :P

[short bus president]

12. You got it

imports and voltage for the lady, eh?

[SarahB]

14. Yep...

No domestics and it's the voltage that keeps me the lady that I am instead of the town floozy. O8)

[Ellen Forradalom]

33. pour one for me too

for the big loser in love.

[short bus president]

42. Ooh! Tell me yer story!

Bet I can go you one better. ;-)

[jdj]

55. you've just described how all my relationships end up.

asexual, pins and needles.

glad i'm not the only one.

[short bus president]

57. Mmmmmmmmmmm...

sexual pins and needles...

I mean, no... I've never seen any of that perverted German bondage porn!

[prolesunited]

13. You always have

yourself.

Cheer up. :-)

[short bus president]

15. I suppose that's true.

But I'm just about altogether sick of having myself. I want someone better!

;-)

[bloodyjack]

16. When no one is around, love will always love you!

Yeah.

I think I'll go start an official thread now too.

[short bus president]

20. No, no, no. When no one is around, BEER will always love you.

Started drinking early today, did you?

[bloodyjack]

23. MEH

It's 5pm somewhere

[rbnyc]

17. Just me and the baby here...

...hubby is upstate playing a show.

Thanks for the official thread. And it is officially Saturday night now.

;-)

[short bus president]

19. See, I can tell this, because I just drank a Red Stripe

love them stubby little bottles!

So, it's another Saturday night. Only my 2nd one in a row with the "ain't got nobody" bit. Stings mightily.

But the stubby little bottles help. ;-)

[rbnyc]

21. Well, letting yourself hurt...

...is probably the right thing to do at this point. Keeping your sense of humor and hanging out with us is also good. I know it sucks right now, but you will be more than fine.

:loveya:

[captainjack]

44. aww, baby

don't let him drink and drive!

[trof]

18. I guess that makes it officially "official".

But quit beating yourself over the head.
After all, it IS your first OFFICIAL thread.
And not bad at all for a first try.
I can tell your badge came out of a Wheaties box, but it does look damned authentic anyway.
Try wearing your uniform cap more down over your eyes and not on the back of your head like Barney Phyffe.
You look more official that way.
And tuck in your shirttail.
A shoeshine wouldn't hurt.
But all-in-all not a bad first attempt.
:thumbsup:

[short bus president]

22. Damn! I should've known it was the cap!

I wear it this way to cover the bald spot, you insensitive clod!

:P

[amandabeech]

24. Cry in your beer.

I am a middle-aged spinster stuck in the Pennsylvania bible belt.

My main activity this evening will be attempting to fix my vcr.

[short bus president]

25. Remember to unplug it first

and for gawd's sake, step out of the bathtub.

[amandabeech]

26. Don't worry--I'm not in that bad a shape!

Or at least I won't be if my Wolverines somehow manage to come from behind and defeat those evil Spartans.

[sbj405]

27. I'm here

BF waits til like 5 o'clock to tell me he's got studying and work to do. Guess it's a night of DU for me.

[short bus president]

28. Be grateful -

you'll get to see him tomorrow. ;-)

[sbj405]

29. Yep. I'm dragging him to a lit drop.

And we went to a rally this afternoon with Sens Mikulski and Sarbanes, and Reps Wynn, Van Hollen, and Hoyer.

[short bus president]

30. Is that anything like

an acid drop (sugarcube) party?

[JimmyJazz]

31. I'm here!

:hug:

[short bus president]

37. Do you still have

those tinkertoys? I wanna build a ferris wheel, and then spin it faster and faster 'til it falls apart and someone loses an eye. Then it's not just fun and games anymore, you know.

[JimmyJazz]

46. Of course - I keep them with me at all times

[short bus president]

47. Yay!

I still don't get the "electric" part, but yay! State Park Ferris Wheel of Death! Yay!

[JimmyJazz]

48. Sssshhhh - you weren't supposed to tell about the batteries - dammit

That was supposed to be "our" little secret :P

[short bus president]

49. How's it gonna be a secret, really?

It says "electric" right there on the package, plain as day. Well, OK, it's in vertical text instead of the usual English-language left-to-right horizontal thing, so maybe not "plain as day." But surely at least plain as twilightish-dusk?

Comprende mucho, como un vato borracho. Soy mas facil con la lengua siempre con las cervezas.

[JimmyJazz]

50. I know what it says on the package - Jeez, I may have been born

at night, but it wasn't last night - I'm just saying, you weren't supposed to tell anybody - it was to be "our little secret" and now you've ruined it.

BTW - What are you saying? You understand much even though you are drunk and you are very hard with the language always with the beers?

Damn *swoon*

[short bus president]

51. YOU NEVER EXPLICITLY TOLD ME I COULDN'T VIDEOTAPE IT!

Oops, sorry. Wrong conversation. I mean, OK - it's a "secret." Sorry to have espillado the frijoles, eh? And yes, I know a lot, like a drunk dude. And something about the tongue and the beer being easy. I dunno. Yo estoy tres sheets a la winda. :hi:

[JimmyJazz]

52. eh - fuck it - It's Saturday night!

:P

It was fun getting to know you today, btw. Oh and last night, too - but, that again, is a secret - so this time, don't tell anybody.

[short bus president]

53. That was YOU?!?

Wow. OK - I'm just gonna shut up and go wait over here ------>

and hope there's a next time. ;-)

Con MUCHOS naranjos por la musica del camerones!

[JimmyJazz]

54. Let's see: with much oranges with the music of the camerones...

Damn, baby, you sure do know the way to a girl's heart...

Yes that was me!

[short bus president]

56.

save the "belching her name" thing until yer REALLY ready to knock her socks off.,,

;-)

Had some fun here today - thanks for that. Muchas cervezas me dicen "duermo ahora, hijo, o vomitar en el keyboard." 'Nite!

[tjdee]

32. Checking in! w00t w00t (LOL).

Ah yes, sitting home with Spellbound (coming on in 20 minutes!) and Saturday Night Live, avoiding making up all the grad homework I missed this week with a sick kiddo!

I'm not even 30 yet--I'm fairly positive that all my Saturday nights won't be like this. Uh, I hope.

[short bus president]

39. Mm-hmm. Just turned 30 myself not long ago

And my goal for the evening is to not pass out until I've seen what this SNL/Eminem thing is all about. Ooh - and I've been home all week with a recently-wormed puppy! Not that it's different from any other week, except for the copious liquid dung.

[lauralei]

34. Newbie here!

I just found this site a while ago and I'm in love with all of you! I'm so optimistic about this election! I just saw the greatest documentary on Free Speech TV called "Something about W" - it's such a great indictment of the past four years.

Vote Kerry!
And Dennis! (I'm in his house district!)
:party:

[SarahB]

36. Welcome to DU!

:hi:

[lauralei]

38. thanks for the welcome

I've been lurking here for about a week, and I'm so excited to have found this site. There's so much information here and everyone seems so friendly!

[short bus president]

41. Hi Lauralei!

:hi:

Welcome to the Lounge!

OK - so someone tell me - is it too early, at 2 posts, for me to start Lounge-stalking this one? She did say she loves me...

Can't someone please consult the manual???

[IconoclastIlene]

35. It gets worse; wait til yer married 18 years and.............

what's it all about Alfie sets in!!!!

[short bus president]

45. Wow, see...

you MUST need a drink, 'cause I have NO idea what you just said.

:toast:

[sundog]

40. I ain't got nobody... hey shortbus, wanna play in traffic together?

I'll be drinking and/or smoking something shortly

[short bus president]

43. I've been drinking and/or smoking something since 8a, my friend

But seriously, how're we gonna play in Traffic together? They broke up years ago. Something about low sparks and high-heeled boys...

[geomon666]

58. I'll chime in.

Don't have anyone tonight and to make it worse tomorrow (correction: today) is my birthday and I still won't have anyone. Oh well.

[Huckebein the Raven]

59. I heard beer and came a runnin'

anybody got any Sam Adams ?

I'm without an S.O as well.