Best of C.M. Burns and W. Smithers

[SemiCharmedQuark]

My all time favorite
Burns: Ahh, these minstrels will soothe my jangled nerves

Ramones:
Happy Birthday to you---HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Happy Birthday to you---HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Happy Birthday dear Burnsie--Happy birthday to you--HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Go to hell you old bastard!

Hey I think they liked us!

Burns: Have the Rolling Stones Killed
Smithers: But Sir those weren't the...
Burns: DO AS I SAY!

[Sagan]

1. "Smithers, are they booing me?"

"Of course not, sir.. they're saying 'Boo-urns.."

[7th_Sephiroth]

6. i was saying boo-urns

hans moleman

[CanuckAmok]

2. "Books and cocao in the same store?! What's next, a talking banana?"

"Of couse the very idea of a talking banana is ludicrous, but...still..."

[CanuckAmok]

3. Also: "Snowmen have peepers. Peepers to watch"

[wysi]

4. '... and find the jade monkey before midnight'

'uh sir we found that in your glove compartment last week'.
'oh right, so we did'

[Adenoid_Hynkel]

15. You must find the Jade Monkey before the next full moon.

B-You must find the Jade Monkey before the next full moon.
S-Actually, sir, we found the Jade Monkey. It was in your glove compartment.
B-And the road maps and ice scraper?
S-Yes, they were in there too.
B-Excellent. It’s all falling into place.


sorry to correct you, but that's my all-time favorite simpsons bit, so i had to

[bkcc]

5. Best Burns/Smithers exchange ever:

Burns (watching Homer eating doughnuts on security camera):
That's right...keep eating the doughnuts...
little do you know you're inching ever closer to the poison doughnut....
There is a poison doughnut, isn't there, Smithers?

Smithers:
No, Sir. I discussed it with our lawyers and they consider it murder.

Burns:
Damn their oily hides!!

[Richardo]

7. "I'd like to post this on the next autogyro to Persia."

[CanuckAmok]

8. I'd like to send this aeorgram to the Prussian Consulate in Siam..."

"...am I too late for the 4:30 autogyro?"

"sorry, sir, I don't have a listing for Prussia, Siam, or autogyro"

"BAH! The ignorance!"

[Richardo]

11. Thanks, CanukAmok - that was the quote I was trying to remember

unsuccessfully. :thumbsup:

[DelawareValleyDem]

9. The man

you trusted wasn't Wavy Gravy at all! And all this time, I've been smoking harmless tobacco!

Since the dawn of time, man has yearned to destroy the sun.

You there, fill it up with petroleum distillate, and re-vulcanize my tires, post-haste.

Yes, I'd like to send this letter to the Prussian consulate in Siam by aeromail. Am I too late for the 4:30 autogyro?


Smithers, there's a rocket in my pocket.
You don't have to tell me sir.

[Goathead]

10. Mr Burns disguised as Wavy Gravy

I caught this one recently:

Greenpeace Man 1: All right! We're finally going to stop those corporate pigs from dumping that nuclear waste!
Greenpeace Man 2: Oh, no! Our boat is sinking!
Burns: It was I, you fools! The man you trusted wasn't Wavy Gravy at all! And all this time, I've been smoking harmless tobacco.

[ET Awful]

12. Well, I guess it's impossible to control all the media,

unless of course, you're Rupert Murdoch; heh is one beautiful man.

Smithers: I couldn't agree more.

:)

[Tempest]

13. The best one

The episode where the Simpsons are at the shrink's office and wired up to each other.


Smithers: "Boy, someone's really gobbling up the juice, sir."

Burns: "Excellent."

[Zero Gravitas]

14. when pigs fly

Burns: I'll donate a million dollars to the orphanage.... when pigs fly!

(Homer's BBQ pig gets launched into the air and flies past the window)

Smithers: will you be donating that million dollars now sir?
Burns: I think not.

[grannylib]

16. My fave:

Burns: "What's that sound?"
Smithers: "It's...it's your heart, Sir.It's beating!"
Burns: (nostalgically) "Oooh, that takes me back!"