Creepiest children's song?

[kick-ass-bob]

This one is my fav, Clementine:

In a cavern, In a canyon,
Excavating for a mine,
Dwelt a miner forty-niner,
And his daughter Clementine.

Chorus:
Oh my darling, Oh my darling,
Oh my darling Clementine,
You are lost and gone forever,
Dreadful sorry Clementine.

Repeat chorus

Light she was and like a fairy,
And her shoes were number nine;
Herring boxes, without topses,
Sandals were for Clementine.

Repeat chorus

Drove she ducklings to the water,
Every morning just at nine;
Hit her foot against a splinter,
Fell into the foaming brine.

Repeat chorus

Ruby lips above the water,
Blowing bubbles, soft and fine;
But Alas! I was no swimmer,
So I lost my Clementine.

Repeat chorus

When the miner forty-niner,
Soon began to peak and pine,
Thought he oughter "jine" his daughter,
Now he's with his clementine.

Repeat chorus

In a corner of the churchyard,
Where the myrtle boughs entwine,
Grow the roses in their poses,
Fertilized by Clementine.

Repeat chorus

In my dreams she still doth haunt me,
Robed in garments soaked in brine.
Though in life I used to hug her,
Now she's dead, I'll draw the line.

Repeat chorus

How I missed her, how I missed her
How I missed my Clementine.
So I kissed her little sister,
And forgot my Clementine.

Repeat chorus

Now you Boy Scouts, there's a moral
To this little tale of mine.
Artificial respiration,
Would have saved my Clementine.

[benburch]

1. Dunderbeck

Dunderbeck

Oh mr. Dunderbeck, how could you be so mean?
I told you you'd be sorry for inventing that machine.
Now all the neighbor's cats and dogs will nevermore be seen,
They've all been ground to sausages in dunderbeck's machine.

There was a man from my home town
His name was dunderbeck,
He sold a lot of sausages
And sourkraut by heck.
He made the greatest sausages,
That ever had been seen,
Until one day he invented a sausage making machine.

Oh mr. Dunderbeck, how could you be so mean?
I told you you'd be sorry for inventing that machine.
Now all the neighbor's cats and dogs will nevermore be seen,
They've all been ground to sausages in dunderbeck's machine.

One day a little cub scout came walking in the store,
He bought a pound of sausages and laid them on the floor.
Then he began to whistle, he whistled up a tune,
And all those little sausages went dancing round the room.

Oh mr. Dunderbeck, how could you be so mean?
I told you you'd be sorry for inventing that machine.
Now all the neighbor's cats and dogs will nevermore be seen,
They've all been ground to sausages in dunderbeck's machine.

One day the machine it busted, the darn thing wouldn't go,
So dunderbeck, he crawled inside to see what made it so,
His wife, she had a nightmare while walking in her sleep,
She gave that crank one awful yank and dunderbeck was meat.

Oh mr. Dunderbeck, how could you be so mean?
I told you you'd be sorry for inventing that machine.
Now all the neighbor's cats and dogs will nevermore be seen,
They've all been ground to sausages in dunderbeck's machine

[kick-ass-bob]

2. Holy shit!

That made me laugh WAY too loud here!!!

You definitely beat mine!

[NanBo]

7. OMG

I can't stop giggling in my cube! :) And it's so sick!

[benburch]

14. Very sick...

And like most children's tunes, there are many variations of it.

[benito]

3. rub-a-dub-dub

three men in a tub?

[yellowcanine]

13. George Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld? Oh my!

Anybody sick yet?

[Downtown Hound]

4. Rock a bye baby

in the treetop
When the wind blows
the cradle will rock
If the bow breaks
the cradle will fall
And down will come baby
cradle and all.

[kick-ass-bob]

5. someone altered that one (guess they thought it too):

when the bow breaks
the cradle won't fall
'cause daddy will catch you
cradle and all.

[ET Awful]

10. I can't help but think of the Simpsons when I see that

and Maggie's daydream while they sang it to her :)

[Mizmoon]

6. "Oranges and lemons" say the bells of St. Clement's

"You owe me five farthings" say the bells of St. Martin's
"When will you pay me?" say the bells of Old Bailey
"When I grow rich" say the bells of Shoreditch
"When will that be?" say the bells of Stepney
"I do not know" say the great bells of Bow
"Here comes a candle to light you to bed
Here comes a chopper to chop off your head
Chip chop chip chop - the last man's dead."

[Goldmund]

8. Dude... Are those the actual words???

[kick-ass-bob]

9. yep.

http://www.scoutsongs.com/lyrics/clementine.html

warning: music on that link!

[Willy Lee]

11. Not a children's song but damn creepy- I love it

It was late one fall night at a fairground near town
When Esther first saw the Armenian man
Who groveled toward her and stood by her side
With a bucket that swung in his hand

His grin stretched the folds of his pasty white cheeks
And his lips hurled a dollop of murk on the curb
And the lights from the rides showed a mischievous sparkle
That flashed in his hollow eyed stare

He said "Little girl, you can chop off my legs
And then peel off my socks if you want to.
But I'd rather you took this old puppet from me
That I hold in my pail as we speak."

And he stood looking down at the innocent girl
And she stared at the bucket bewildered
Til he lifted the doll for the young girl to see
And a giant smile grew on his face
She saw the doll's eyes and she couldn't resist
And she thanked the man quickly and ran to the church
And she burst through the door with puppet held high
And a hush filled the chapel, and the people looked mean

Esther tried in vain to pacify the mob
Quibble grew to spat, to wrangle, then to brawl
The frenzied congregation struggled desperately to fetch
The pretty puppet snugly nestled deep in Esther's leather sack
Through the window of the church a storm began to rage
And Esther knew the time had come to flee

She scurried down the aisle toward the doorway in the distance
And out into the rainstorm where she felt she would be free
But the wind was blowing harder
And her skirt began to billow
Until finally her feet began to lift

And she rose above the people and the houses
and the chimneys
And Esther and the doll were set adrift
Floating higher over the hills, and the valleys and treetops
they'd flutter and glide
Soaring and turning suspended on air
With the earth far below them they'd tumble
And dive through the clouds

And she began to plummet earthward till she
Landed in the nasty part of town

She glanced about the village sure to find the evil men
Who rob and pillage in the darkest hour of night
Nervously she fumbled for the pouch that held the
Puppet on her rump.

Feeling quite outnumbered Esther hid behind
A nearby pile of lumber, where she waited
Till the dawn
Cause it would have been a blunder to
Succumb to a hoodlum on the prowl

When the morning came, she wandered through the streets
Along the chilly lake that lay beside the town
At last a peaceful moment, but she thought she heard a sound
It was an angry mob of joggers coming up to knock her down

As Esther stood and shook her head
The joggers were approaching
And she knew she had no choice left but to swim
As the frosty water sank its bitter teeth into her hide
She tried to slide the heavy clothing from her skin

Naked now she made her way toward the shore
When suddenly she felt a tiny tugging at her toe.
And the puppet she'd forgotten wrapped its tiny
Little arms around her ankle and wouldn't let her go.

The waves seemed to open and swallow her whole
As the doll pulled her down through the eerie green deep
And the sound of the laughing old man filled her ears
As she drifted away to a tranquil
And motionless sleep.

[yellowcanine]

12. "Ring around the Rosie"

Ring around the rosie
Pocket full of posie
Ashes, Ashes
We all fall down! (dead)

This nursery rhyme began about 1347 and derives from the not-so-delightful Black Plague, which killed over twenty-five million people in the fourteenth century. The "ring around a rosie" refers to the round, red rash that is the first symptom of the disease. The practice of carrying flowers and placing them around the infected person for protection is described in the phrase, "a pocket full of posies." "Ashes" is a corruption or imitation of the sneezing sounds made by the infected person. Finally, "we all fall down" describes the many dead resulting from the disease.

(Snopes says it is False but I find his reasoning less than convincing. A big part of his argument is that there are other, less ominous versions of the rhyme out there - well duh! Isn't that one would expect parents and teachers to do - change the words to something more genteel? - In the same way that

Eeny meanie miney moe,
catch a (n word) by the toe....etc

became "catch a tiger by the toe"

[Raven]

15. "Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I think

I'm gonna go and eat worms." :-)