It's September 10th and I wrote something.

LeftPeopleFinishFirst

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Wed Sep-10-03 09:40 PM
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It's September 10th and I wrote something.

As a response to a 9/11 video shown in class, a free response.

September 10th, 2003
English 11
Journal 2

What I want to write just doesn’t seem to come out when it comes to the topic of September 11th. In my head, I know exactly what I want to say, but in reality it is hard to put down effortlessly on paper. Maybe if I was writing this paper September 11th, 2001 it would be different. The thinking in itself would be irrational, probably a mixture of contempt, sadness and being sick to my stomach about the events which had taken place. There might have been cursing and confusion, sorrow and shock. On the eve of the two year anniversary, reliving footage, watching news about it, I ask myself how our world has changed since then. I cry because I know how it has changed and don’t know if it is possible to even fix the damages done. There are so many questions in my own head when it comes to this topic. The footage shown in class and on TV not only makes me feel like I can relive that day, but it also reminds me of everything that has stemmed from it. The filmmakers of the video shown in class must suffer every day from having seen it firsthand. My TV was on 24 hours a day and my mind was on it constantly. The media devoured the tragedy; I know I suffered from something close to post traumatic stress just from repeated exposure of the clips.

On September 11th last year, I cried my eyes out as I did the year before and probably will this year. I cry for the loss of life, yes, but I also cry for a country being destroyed by their anger. The government of the United States has been angry for two years because, for a moment in time, the “land of the free” was struck down. What most of us chose not to see were the civil liberties being destroyed each day by our government. Literally we began forming a new defense based around fear and resentment toward terrorists and with that there became an utter disregard for the Constitution and Bill of Rights, two amazing documents. The Patriot Act, an abomination to our born rights, was passed out of fear. I don’t believe too many people understand how truly scary this document is. The government is now allowed to tap any and all phone lines, check up on what we read at the library, and monitor our internet usage and email. Our government chose to retaliate against the terrorists using force, which is the anger reflex. It is somewhat reminiscent of the two bullies who clash with each other on the playground and are both too proud and too angry to give in to the other. I asked myself on the day we entered Afghanistan (in October 2001, I believe) why we were going to do the old “eye for an eye” route, because it never works. Now it will take years to rebuild not only their mess of the trade center rubble, but our mess as well. It has been said that anger can be power, but I disagree. September 11th made me value peace even more. To see what had been done to our citizens, I knew that I wouldn’t want to see more lives being taken out of our frustrations.

I know I am an idealist. I’ve been told often that I am. People tell me I should have been born in the 60s. I believe there should be no war, I believe there should be freedom in the world, and I believe there should be a way around conflict. I believe when given a chance, people can change. I listen to old protest songs. I believe Canada has the right idea when it comes to governing their people. I get angry when people confuse communism and socialism. My theme song is probably John Lennon’s “Imagine” or Buffalo Springfield’s “For What It’s Worth”. If you want to think in more recent terms, The Black Eyed Peas’ “Where is The Love?” is a good one too. I know I’m different in that I pay attention to my world and how events and their effects reach me on a personal level. I’m sort of proud of that. In this post September 11th world, it has become unpatriotic to think in such liberal terms. It has become a “you are with the terrorists or you are with us” attitude. I see our American Flag being plastered to t-shirts, flown on SUVS and Hummers, ratty torn flags hung out in the rain, and used as the government’s way of showing it is patriotic to support war. The media covers what they want to cover, but I think those who stood fast against the war in Afghanistan and the war in Iraq are the patriots. They are using our rights as Americans to speak out about their displeasure with the government action toward September 11th.

See, I don’t even know if this is what you even wanted us to write about- but it’s what I wanted to write about it. It’s a reflection of me, a reflection of events stemming from tragedy, and a reflection of the state of the world. It’s a message to me or anyone who needs or wants to know about it. Sometimes for me, it seems like nothing’s going to change this world to what it was before. As much as the President would like to say it takes being brave to go to war, I think it takes a coward. I think the 2,795 which died in the World Trade Center and those who died in the Pentagon and Pennsylvania field knew what violence was. Someone who has experienced violence firsthand probably only wants the violence to end. Out of anything September 11th has taught me, the best thing it has taught me is how to question. Following blindly into a war, never questioning its motives is something that we all need to think about. Whether you are liberal or conservative, it doesn’t make a difference. We all need to question, we all need to stop and think about what’s going on. So tomorrow while thousands of Americans are busy plastering a glittery flag on their t-shirts and proudly affixing the flag to the hoods of their SUVs, I will be sitting, crying and thinking. I will be wearing my normal clothes or even black, and I will be quiet. It will be a day of mourning and remembrance, not overt display of patriotism. Your fate as a patriot will not be sealed in red, white and blue. It will be sealed in the way you think and act. 200 words is just not enough. Peace.