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Using a methodology* which I believe to be comparable in accuracy and quality to Gallup, I have found that Kerry won the debates with a resounding 60%-25% margin of victory, with 15% undecided. However, even more stunning than the margin of victory were some of these statistical anomolies:
85% of people who watched the debates on a working TV that was sitting on top of a non-working TV thought Bush won. 72% of people with at least one major appliance in their front yard voted Bush the winner. 95% of people with less than a 3rd grade education thought Bush explained his positions better than Kerry. 63% of angry white men could identify more with Bush than with Kerry. 82% of former contestants on Jackass believed Bush acted more Presidential. A resounding 100% of exiled former tin-pot dictators felt Bush demonstrated the kind of leadership qualities needed in a national figure. 91% of convicted Nazi war criminals found Bush the clear winner on moral issues. 96% of people who have ever suffered an alcohol related self-inflicted gunshot wound felt that Bush was the candidate they would prefer to have a beer with.
I probably missed many other statistically significant results. Feel free to examine my data and let me know if you see any other remarkable findings.
*rarified atmospheric sampling
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