Make your own George W. Bush stump speech! (funny)

[Paragon]

Make your own!
http://mrsun.us/2004/09/make-your-own-george-w-bush-stump.html

Thank you for that warm welcome. It's great to be off the booze and blow. This election may well be the most important in history. Now more than ever, America needs John Ashcroft reading your e-mail. My opponent is on both sides of every issue. You know what I stand for: a bill that our grandchildren cannot possibly pay. If I am re-elected, in my first two weeks I pledge to have Lynndie England point mockingly at my opponent's genitals. After September 11, I stood in the rubble with a bullhorn and shouted: We will have vengeance against the people who didn't do this! Now, three years later -- I ask for you to completely suspend disbelief and ignore the uncontested facts. I have been blessed in my life, and I want you to know that laws have a lot of big words in them that I don't understand. In conclusion, I would like to say I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch.

:D