Is there a way to bring back politeness in our society?

[terrya]

Even the words "please" and "thank you" seem to be disappearing from usage. Sometimes, I'll hold the door for someone, and they'll give me a dirty look.

This is just a minor rant, but we're just becoming more and more rude as a society.

[GOPisEvil]

1. I'm nothing if not polite, even to those that don't deserve it.

I'm all about "please" and "thank you". I was raised right, dammit.

[terrya]

5. Maybe it's generational, I don't know.

But when I was a kid, that's how we were raised. We were expected to say "please" and "thank you". And to say "sir" and "ma'am" to our elders.

And at the risk of sounding like "grumpy old man", those concepts are utterly foreign to today's kids. It's just very sad, IMO.

[redqueen]

11. Not my kids

As is so often the case, it's all about what priority the parents placed on their children's education.

[SarahB]

15. Depends on the kids

Some of us still take the time and the effort it takes to teach our children (largely by example, sometimes correcting their behavior) of how to be civil and polite to others. I tend to wonder though exactly how much of us are left though sometimes. :(

[LynzM]

49. We definitely do

Please is a requisite to get requests met, around here, and thank you when they are. But she's only going on 2, so we've got a long way to go. I think a lot of it is by example, truly. We are both very polite in general to most people, particularly service people. Sadly, it's true that that trend is disappearing.

[demnan]

2. Yes I have noted that

No it will continue to get worse as we, as a society, become more mean-spirted and selfish.

[redqueen]

3. Demonstration?

I don't know... I agree with you that rudeness seems more common, but no idea what to do about it.

I'm lucky... people in this building are very polite. Always pleases and thank-yous and holding the door and the elevator. The times such consideration isn't shown are the rare exceptions.

[shaolinmonkey]

4. I'm with you. The whole "live out loud" thing is tiresome.

A little more civility would be nice.

[billbuckhead]

More better guns and dueling?

That seems to be where we're devolving to.

[redqueen]

14. Zell's looking forward to it!

[Phillycat]

6. I agree, terrya.

I find it difficult to believe how rude people are these days. The other evening, I was standing on the sidewalk (not blocking foot traffic) and a woman walked by. Apparently I was too close to where she wanted to walk, so she simply slammed her shoulder into mine as she passed. Then continued on her way without even a backwards glance, much less an apology. Wow!

The other recent example I have is that I went to a movie, and people talked all through it, and their cellphones rang and they answered them, and their nextel walkie-talkie things kept going off. I thought back to when I was a kid, and how fast my mother would have taken me out of that theater and we'd have gone home if I'd dared to open my mouth at the movies! Who raised these people?

I think the rudeness and lack of care for others in our society is symptomatic of the "I've got mine, who cares about yours?" attitude of the current administration.

[redqueen]

20. I had three generations of females do something like this

My family was walking towards a family event... an event for kids, actually, but anyway... this group was walking away. They took up the entire sidewalk, forcing my family to move to the grass to avoid a run in. I commented (not quietly) about how this was a large part of the reason society was failing... no manners. One of the females shot back in a voice not unusual from a group so well behaved 'Oh, who cares!'

Nice, huh?

[miss_kitty]

59. "'Oh, who cares!'"

i try to have a comment for shit like that like "You do, enough to respond!"

[2Design]

7. after watching some of the post on DU - I am wondering

we have people trashing people who give

they trash anyone who does good for others

no all - but there sure have been a lot of them

[DWRoelands]

8. Hear Hear

Amen. More civility, especially in political discourse, would be a refreshing change. I may differ with someone on issues, but that's no reason for me to resort to name-calling.

I've been making more of an effort lately to be more civil and to be more rational when discussing issues of importance. I don't always get it right, but I keep trying.

That's all that any of us can do.

[DBtv]

9. It starts at the top. Elect John Kerry, restore civility to America.

publicanism has destroyed civil discourse.

[Book Lover]

16. I cannot agree

Perhaps I see a class argument in your post where none was intended (and if so, my apologies) but my behavior is not dictated by the mannerisms of those who "rose" to the "top," nor should it ever be. That seems to me to lower civil discourse to the level of aping one's supposed social betters.

on edit: spelling

[redqueen]

21. I didn't get 'aping social betters' from that post

I got that the people in leadership positions set an example that we take cues from. What they is understood to be acceptable, since they are where they are... so...

[Book Lover]

24. I suppose the issue is

that I don't take the President as being inherently in a leadership position *socially.* That's too close to a kingship for my taste.

[DBtv]

27. The publican politricks of personal attack legitimized incivility

in amerikkkan culture. I don't understand where you are coming from with your class warfare talking points. This tack will lead us to CIVIL WARFARE, however.

[Book Lover]

31. As I said earlier

If I take offense where none was intended, I apologize. Perhaps this will make my position clearer: Because I do not take the president as a social leader (just a governmental one ) I don't see his or her behavior as any kind of standard that one must measure up against any more or less than anyone else.

[DBtv]

41. As an idol of America's cult of personality the President is a

key cultural influencer, as are the members of congress and, unfortunately, radio and television propagandists. What you as an intellectual eliteist consider influential is of little import in the anti intellectual cesspool that our culture now is. newt gengrich's "contract on amerikkka" and his politricks of personal attack and the demonization of the compassion of liberalism has had the greatest impact on the growth of incivility throughout our culture and will, without significant social change, lead to open civil warfare. I suspect this is the power elite agenda, in order to install totalitarian martial law.

[Book Lover]

44. I choose not to engage in that cult

And I am not the only one.

Terrya, how am I doing on the polite thing?

[DBtv]

48. Unquestionably, you are above that, and not alone,

but sadly in a dwindling minority. The destruction, by the power elite, of the public education system, and the inellectual numbing effect of lowest common denominator and demagogic media has created an ever more "stupidified" populace that lack the intellectual ability to engage in complex and rational thought. Consequently, the impact of media images of "leaders" engaging in superficial and nonsubstantive attacks on opposing viewpoints is ever more destructive to the collective consciousness and societal civility.

[2Design]

10. rw rhetoric seems to be the thing of the day - attacking others

verbally, physically, and financially

they look up to BushCo and the way they act -

we need our Team in the WH to start seeing more civility come back

[nedlogg]

12. Seems we were polite after 9/11 . . .

Then it stopped.

Now we have this.

[mrboba1]

13. southerners (true southerners) still do this.

I can always tell who is from the south and who has moved here from elsewhere...

[Kathy in Cambridge]

67. It's true-chilvary is not dead in the South

People seem to be more polite toward their elders also. "Yes, Ma'am"
"No, sir" etc. I was raised that way in New England, but we're definitely ruder than the rest of the country as a whole.

[movonne]

17. I would like the think it would....but you have to be raised that way,

and don't see much of this...when a teenager thanks me or anyone for that matter I really have to appreciate their parents. I just don't see much of this anymore and this is why this country is in the condition it is. Somewhere along the way we dropped the ball.

[Gothic Sponge]

18. Yes, more guns for everyone!

Give everyone an AK47 and people will be polite! :crazy:

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

43. Charlton? Is that you?

I am a dirty ape and I'm going to pry your gun from your cold, dead fingers!

[Gothic Sponge]

47. Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!

;)

[VOX]

19. I've notice more people saying "No problem" rather than "You're welcome"

And I find it highly annoying. The other night, my wife and I were in a restaurant, and I noticed that our server was doing this -- "no problem," "no problem, "no problem," etc.

So I said, "let's see how many 'no problems' we can get out of her." Every time she did **anything** for us, I thanked her, and, by the time we were ready to go, we had collected 17 "no problems."

Now this isn't exactly impolite, but it just sounds distant and robotic.

We were at the ballpark last Saturday, sitting on the aisle, and a guy trying to get past us to the aisle said, "beep-beep." Where was this guy raised? He was trying to be clever, I but a sincere "excuse me" would have been nice.

Oh, and he was rooting for the visiting team!

[terrya]

22. Geez..I've noticed that, too, Or they'll just say "um-hum"

And "beep-beep"??? That's a new one....

[Phillycat]

26. Here's another one--

When I say "thank you" to a clerk at a store, they reply "you're welcome". (Which is still better than "uh-huh") But they are supposed to thank me for giving them my business. I understood this at 10 years of age, because my mother taught me so.

[yvr girl]

53. I prefer 'No problem' to 'uh-ha'

You're welcome is best, but at least a 'No problem' or a 'Don't mention it' is an actual response. I hate uh-ha, ya and other 'grunt-like' responses.

This is actually a pet peeve of many Canadians when talking to Americans on the phone.

[RedEarth]

56. After I paid the cashier, and thanked her for my change, she said "no

problem".....good grief, I hope it's not a problem to take my money....learn some basic etiquette

[Ron Green]

60. I agree. "No problem" implies there might be a problem somewhere.

"You're welcome" is a gracious statement of connection and invitation, and one of the instances where English does a better job than some other languages. For example, "de nada" ("of nothing") in Spanish doesn't make a welcoming statement, but a diminishing one.

[MsConduct]

23. Rudeness is right up there with lying....

as far as I'm concerned. There seems to be more people out there who think the world owes them something. Politeness begins in the home. The rude ones out there "ain't had no fetchin' up" as a friend of mine likes to say.


Peace

[Tom_Foolery]

25. I'm always amazed when some kid calls me by my first name...

I'm almost 44, and I remember when we called our elders "MR.", "MRS.", "MISS", or even "MS". I stll call the older neighbors that have known me about all my life by those titles. I would never call them by their first names even now.

[AngryAmish]

28. Politeness works

Realy, when you are nice to people hey will help you. It is true.

[Nicholas D Wolfwood]

29. What I like to do in that case is...

I always hold the door open for people (I was raised a polite man.) When someone doesn't acknowledge the courtesy, I say "YOU'RE WELCOME" very loudly to embaress them. People who can't open their mouth to acknowledge a simple courtesy deserve to be embaressed.

[redqueen]

30. It's not to embarass them, silly

It's to help try to educate them, since their parents obviously didn't. You're doing them a favor. :)

[pagerbear]

32. What are you? Some sort of girlie-man?

Politeness, feh!

[terrya]

33. Weeeelllllllllllllllll......

:-)

[pagerbear]

35. Oh, never mind

[terrya]

36. That's not a deal closer, is it?

I have my feminine side as well as the masculine side. Come on.

[pagerbear]

39. What sort of deal are we talking about?

[terrya]

42. Well, hopefully, there will be a retreat in our future. Next year.

Sweetie, I'm so looking forward to meeting you. And I like the idea of the retreat a lot.

[pagerbear]

45. Does that mean we wait until next Labor Day?

[terrya]

46. Nope. Before then.

Way before then.

Of course, if you ever make your way to Chicago...or Toronto....

[pagerbear]

50. You will recall I suggested a meet-and-greet when we were both in TO

Did I hear from you? NO!!!

[terrya]

61. I apologize about that.

That was unconscionably rude on my part.

T

[pagerbear]

62. I was deeply hurt!

Harumph!

[terrya]

66. That shant ever happen again.

I'm still trying to figure out something for us to do....

[LynneSin]

34. FLICK YOU NO WAY IDIOT

:crazy:

[Teddy_Salad]

37. Ohh absolutely!

I've no doubt that there is a way to bring back politeness in our society......you fucking jerk! ;) :P

[terrya]

38. Hey, Teddy!

I miss seeing you...those Saturday night get togethers here. :-)

And, please. Your language. "You jerk" is fine. The "fucking" is so rude. :-)

[Teddy_Salad]

55. Hiya Terry!!!

Ehhh.....I'm going through a major move right now so haven't had the time I once had, ya know.

How ya doin' anyway?
Hope all's well with ya. :)

[miss_kitty]

40. i was raised to be polite-my mom's nickname was 'The Governor's Wife'

i also say "You're Welcome!" to rude assholes who neglect a tiny 'thanks' for my holding the door, standing aside and letting them go first, etc. and it's those blousey puffed haired old bags who think I'm younger than they are, more often than not.

but my neighbour and I were discussing this (he's 60, I'm 50) and he said that's the way ppl are raising their kids now. hmmm. well anytime i can drop a door on one of those rude aholes (and I have done) I like it...you know they hate it when you DON'T act as their doorman, but won't thank you for doing them the courtesy.

[arwalden]

51. Shit No!! What A Stupid Thing To Ask!!

Every man for himself!! Screw you all!! Get the hell outta my way slowpoke!! Who taught you how to drive, Moron! Hey Lady... this checkout lane is for 10 items or fewer... move over Granny! The end of the line is THAT WAY!! Oh good lord... can't you just pay with a credit card like everyone else?? Must you write a check and find "exact change" in the bottom of your purse? HURRY THE FUCK UP!!!

What was the question?

-- Allen

[Burma Jones]

52. Yes, with Assault Weapons

EVERYBODY is more polite when everyone else is armed........

[realisticphish]

54. i kind of wonder if it's a cyclic thing

as in; a generation starts out polite. then, they start growing up, rebel, etc, become more materialistic, and ruder. as they age, they appreciate kindness more, and start to go back to polite. and in old age (in my experienc) most people are far more polite then when younger.

of course im generalizing, but its just a thought


:hippie: The Incorrigible Democrat

[Prisoner_Number_Six]

57. No. Fuck off.

All the barriers have been dropped, and there is no way to put them back up. We're screwed. Deal with it. Please.

(Yes, that was sarcasm. Don't ever lose hope!)

[RedEarth]

58. I agree.. today I held the door open for two ladies, neither said a word

......rudeness, aggressive driving, tailgating etc......makes me wonder what happened to common courtesy

[liontamer]

63. I think there's more than enough politeness

Maybe it's because I spent 10 years in the south, but I think many people (at least the socially well adjusted ones) are polite. Sometimes too polite

[slackmaster]

65. Politeness means nothing in the absence of respect

n/t

[slackmaster]

64. Just put all the assholes on Ignore, figuratively speaking

It works for me.

If someone is being rude or angry let him or her own the problem. You don't have to allow a surly person to drag you into his or her personal quagmire.