To My Uterus........ (not a sex thread!!!)

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

Dear Uterus:

I just wanted to take a moment and have a little chat. I want to thank you for the great job you did ten years ago with that nine pound baby and that whole gross placenta thing. Damn, you performed VERY well. You really held up. What a trooper!

But, um, in the last few years you have really turned into a pain in the ass. Or abdomen. And I am afraid I am feeling more and more resentful about you.

See, I don't know how to break this to you, but....your job is done. I've got no more real use for ya anymore. You are.....pointless. And your behavior is downright awful. I finally got permission to have you vacate the premises and while I do remember fondly the days you harbored that great kid, I have to admit--I won't shed a tear when you are gone.

Thank you for your service.



(Lounge lizards--is this the weirdest post you've seen here or not? I hope not.)

[burythehatchet]

1. I don't know why I clicked on this

My buzz is a little less intense than it was 1 minute ago.
:)

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

2. Hey you can thank me later!!!!

If I didn't have a single response in about twenty minutes, I was going to be all proud of myself for killing my OWN thread!

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

4. Have you sacrificed that goat yet bury?

[burythehatchet]

5. In a figurative sense, I have...and gladly.

:)

[Mistress Quickly]

3. Gack I agree lol

I got my tubes tied after my last child, and sometimes I wish I had the whole works taken out. Like about once a month.

[latebloomer]

6. Is it really going bye-bye?

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

7. Most likely!

Should I throw a party?

[latebloomer]

9. Sounds like you should!

It has outlasted its usefulness and become a major PITA. Or something like that.

[Lefta Dissenter]

8. Huh

I was just whining to my sister about how 'once a month' has become more like 'once every three weeks.' I thought the damned thing was supposed to slow down, not pick up speed! :shrug:

Of course, mine hasn't been put to its true purpose for almost 21 years! :wow:

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

10. Damn

get rid of it!

(Just kidding! Only if medically indicated!)

[JesseRamone]

11. wow

that was so inspirational. now i wish i had a uterus, just so i could have it removed. god bless.

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

12. Hee hee

No God bless you!

:hi:

[Lefta Dissenter]

13. well

it sounds like you could have Moonbeam's ;)

[Cheswick2.0]

14. I am going to bet you that you will shed a tear

You don't think so now, but just wait.

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

16. Ok I'll bite, why am I going to cry? eom

[UTUSN]

15. LMAO ----------"To My Urethera"

What's even funnier than why-did-I-click-on-this was that I don't even know how to spell my own organ.

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

17. Go ahead

let it out....what do you want to say to your urethera?

It's listening....

[SarahB]

18. Hey there!

If one is pending or you just had an operation, Moonbeam, I give to you my hugs :hug: and some quick healing vibes. I hope it helps you feel better as well. :D

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

19. Thank you so much!

It is impending!!!!

Sayanora Uterus!!!!!! WHEEEEEE!!!!

[RebelYell]

20. Don't lift a finger for 6 weeks

They mean it when they say that.

[REP]

21. Do What I Did

Skip having the kid.

Have the tubes burnt out, and have the endometrium burnt out as well.

Result?

No periods, no hormonal birth control, no kids, no pregnancy worries ever, no major surgery requiring transfusions, and normal hormone balance. Also, no long recovery tine (2 weeks versus six months) and no visible scarring.

Most surgeons will not do elective hysterectomies, as they are major surgeries that can have serious complications. "Bad periods" is usually not enough to get a surgeon to agree to perform a hysterectomy, unless endometriosis or uterine fibroids are causing the "bad periods."

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

22. Well um

I can't exactly skip having the kid now. The kid is 10 years old.

And I can't have the endometrial ablation because I have adenomyosis. The ablation (the burnt out part) would make the adenomyosis worse. So it's yanking it for me!

Hey I'm perfectly happy about it. Wooo--hoooo!!!! Birth control isn't an issue, Mr. Moonbeam got his wires cut years ago.

[REP]

23. Sorry About That

Having the kid *and* major surgery.

Be sure to store your own blood before surgery; the screening system is still untrustworthy, especially is you have a rare type.

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

24. I am not sure I was real clear

I am VERY happy I had the kid! No need for you to be sorry about that. How odd.

And thanks for the advice, I will do that.

[foxy]

25. Congratulations

I hope everything works out for you. I think you will feel a lot better. I haven't had it done myself but have quite a few friends that have and they said they feel a whole lot better since having it done. Good luck!

[EnfantTerrible]

26. I believe that this calls for some kind of ceremony

A bit of pomp and cicumstance for the devotion to duty shown by your faithful organ in producing your, obviously, much loved ten yr. old.

I, for one, am saluting your uterus...

best of luck uterus...

RIP

:smoke: