|
However, as a senior citizen you're probably uneasy about buying pot from shady guys on dark corners, so I offer the following tips to help you score and get home in one piece.
= Wear rubber-soled shoes and non-restrictive clothing. You may be required to run fast and jump fences and other obstacles should your deal go sour.
= Travel in groups. Nothing so terrorizes and confuses gangbangers as the sight of a dozen or so senior citizens moving en masse along the sidewalk with their formidable array of walkers, canes and seeing-eye dogs.
= If trouble arises, grab your chest and feign a heart attack. Drop to the ground and demand that somebody call 911. The attacker will be afraid you'll die on him and he'll end up on Death Row. (Practice a death rattle, roll your eyes, mutter about tunnels and bright lights to convince him you are actually in extremis.)
= Take only enough money to complete the deal. No jewelry, watches, credit cards, extra cash. Wear old clothes to appear poor and avoid being overcharged by resentful, class-conscious pot dealers.
= Have a driver keep the motor running while you transact business with the dealer(s). Your handicapped parking pass will enable you to park near brightly lit buildings and help you make a speedy exit if pursued.
= If all else fails, you can always grow marijuana in an unused closet and avoid dark corners altogether.
|
Printer-friendly format
Email this thread to a friend
Bookmark this thread
(1000+ posts)
Send PM |
Profile |
Ignore
