Things you DON'T want to hear in a public restroom

[underpants]

Whew boy I gotta get up and take a look at that one

Hi, I'm George Michael

Oh yeah there are those chocolate chip pancakes

Knock Knock-Hey they are out of paper towels can you move your pant leg a little closer to the door....I'll wait.


Hey this doesn't look like hand soap

Bbbbbrrrrrr BOY THIS HOLE-SAW SURE COMES IN HANDY BBbbbbbrrrrrrr

(throw stall door) Hey do me a favor, don't flush

[eyesroll]

1. "Mommy, am I sick?" "Don't worry...the lady will take care of it...

you're just having a little poopie trouble."

Heard from a stall at Kids R Us, when I was "the lady."

[underpants]

2. Anyone got a butter knife handy?

THAT comes from a true story from someone I know from an incident on an airplane.

[Magrittes Pipe]

3. "Who's your favorite New Kid? Uh! Call me Joey! Call me Donny!"

[Gildor Inglorion]

4. Sorry to bother you, sir...

but there's no tissue in this stall. Do you have two 5's for a 10?

[mrboba1]

5. ummm, I hate to be a bother,

but can you help me for a sec...

yeah - right in there...

[underpants]

6. Mmmm not sure, what does it taste like to you?

:scared:

[underpants]

7. Damn I am never going to make to the VD clinic now

Ouch!

[mac56]

8. "Not only am I a Jehovah's Witness - I also sell insurance!"

(apologies to Dave Letterman)

[sus]

9. C'mon people! This ain't gonna appreciate itself!

[GOPisEvil]

10. Oh no. Not BOTH ends!

[mac56]

11. Bombs away!

nm

[underpants]

12. FINALLY! Tony Danza gets a talk show

:scared:

[SarahB]

13. "Oh crap. It won't flush and the waters running over...."

In the stall next to yours.

[GOPisEvil]

14. Hey! Is that pipe about to bur--

[underpants]

15. Can you hold my ventriloquist dummy until I'm ready for him?

:bounce:

[eyesroll]

16. "Can you flush Kotex?" "Oh, just do it. It's not like it's your bathroom."

:eyes:

[GOPisEvil]

17. *deep inhale* Damn it smells GOOD IN HERE!!

[ropi]

18. <demonic voice>

"it burns, it burrrrnnnnns!"

[underpants]

19. (as you walk in)other person walking out:" No TP, handdryer works though"

:bounce:

[Magrittes Pipe]

20. It puts the lotion on its skin...

...or else it gets the hose again!

[BiggJawn]

21. "Oooh..Ohhh! Easy!....OK, a little bit more now..."

Yeah, I didn't have to go THAT badly! (about face, hit door RUNNING!)

[Kid_A]

"WHO...DOES...NUMBER TWO....WORK....FOR!!!"

"Yeah, you show that turd who's boss!"

[Endangered Specie]

22. "Fire Phasers! (sound of #1), Torpedoes away! (sounds of #2)"

[northernsoul]

23. "This is what I get for winning that corn eating contest!"

ewwwww!

[Endangered Specie]

24. (Room with a condom machine) "DAMN! this Gum tastes BAD!"

[underpants]

27. LOL-al hedges and endangered

:thumbsup:

[Endangered Specie]

25. In the voice of Ian Malcolm (Jurassic Park) "That's one big pile of shit."

[skygazer]

26. Oops, I missed

[Endangered Specie]

28. "Hah, and you call that a DICK?!!"

[Beetwasher]

29. Wacka Wacka Wacka Wacka Wacka Wacka Wacka SPLURT!!!!

n/t

[Endangered Specie]

30. "Wow, man that one is a beauty!, no wonder I had to go so bad..."

"I hope it goes down, may have to poke it into pieces"

[mrboba1]

31. oh my god man!

you are killin' me with this thread!!!

[Richardo]

32. Who wants to join me in a re-creation of the end of "The Magic Christian"?

"If you want it, here it is - come and get it."

[Endangered Specie]

33. (heavy breathing) Ok come on, PUSH PUSH! PUSH!!!....

Yes I can see the head, its emerging, push, push, ARGRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!

[underpants]

36. Now if I reach up to the sides of the stall and stretch my back out

Oh yeah that's the ticket.

[Endangered Specie]

34. dupe on me

[Endangered Specie]

35. oh MY GOD!! ITS ALLIIIIIIVVVVEEEE aaaaahhhhhhh!

[MisterP]

37. the sound of a stall door being torn off its hinges

I wonder however it could've transpired whenever I see a doorless stall.

[yellowcanine]

38. Oh shit, I think my water broke.