I received a free toaster yesterday!

[Fenris]

Perhaps "received" is the wrong word. I thought I was purchasing a bottom-of-the-line toaster from Target yesterday but when I got home and examined my receipt, I noticed that the Toaster had not been checked. Through my superior mental capabilities I have come to the conclusion that:

A) The free toaster was an honest mistake by the cashier at Target

Or that:

B) I am now an honorary lesbian.

Now, I'm not one to just assume the better of two scenarios is true, but I'd like to think that I have a pretty good chance at being an honorary lesbian. Granted, this is only an honorary title as I lack certain parts necessary to being a lesbian, namely a vagina, but I find the prospect nonetheless exciting.

So the question is, which one of the following do you favor:

[GOPisEvil]

1. So you now have evidence that you are a lesbian trapped in a man's body!

Sweet! :thumbsup:

[Fenris]

4. Hoorah! Finally! The proof I needed to convince my therapist!

[terrya]

2. Wait a second....toasters aren't strictly a lesbian thing.

Gay men can accrue small appliances, as well. :-)

[Fenris]

7. Now I'm incredibly confused.

:crazy:

[Magrittes Pipe]

12. Don't worry, Fen.

You are still a young man. You have years to explore your sexual identity.

[Magrittes Pipe]

3. You just can't get enough of having sex with women.

All day long, you fantasize about having sex with women, including performing cunnilingus on women. You want to have orgasms with women, and to give women orgasms.

You, sir, are a straight-up Peppermint Patty.

[LynneSin]

6. are we allowed to say cunnilingus here at DU

:shrug:

[Magrittes Pipe]

8. You're a cunnilingus.

[LynneSin]

13. at least I'm not an asshole like you

And you're a smelly, stinky one to boot

[Magrittes Pipe]

16. No, LS... we can talk about cunnilingus here, but...

...analingus is right out.

[Fenris]

9. Damn! Compelling to say the least!

[Magrittes Pipe]

15. I bet you even spend most of your time thinking of one particular woman.

Truly, that is the hallmark of a lesbian.

[Fenris]

17. Damn! Spot on, sir!

[jpgray]

You're needed in my 'pretentious' thread

We need more replies that aren't clever.

[tigereye]

19. hey who says Patti needed a toaster

thought she liked Chuck after all. Oh, it was the SANDALS, eh, and the shag haircut. I see where this is going. :)

Your post is really pretty distracting for this time of day, al. Sheesh. Wipes brow. I need to run back to my poetry threads.

[Magrittes Pipe]

20. You are really falling behind on your lesbian lore.

EVERYBODY knows there was something going on between "Sir" and Marcie. Everybody.

[tigereye]

22. well I know there was that implication

or is the implication that Patti just hadn't figured out who she was truly interested in yet. Well, maybe she was bi.

[TriMetFan]

5. Welcome on board.

:D

[Fenris]

11. I am happy to be a member of your organization!

:D

[name not needed]

10. One of us. One of us. One of us.

:D

[tekriter]

My box turtle can beat up your toaster, albeit rather slowly.

But I don't know how either would do against Tinky Winky.

[felonious thunk]

14. Be careful

Like in that one Simpson's episode, it could be a time machine.

[flamingyouth]

18. You're better off than I

Without fail, every single freaking time I've shopped at Target and, say, bought more than five items, they have left something out of my bag and I've had to drive back there to get it. :grr:

[liontamer]

21. DYKE!

eom