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to my rotten, defective HP deskjet. One day, just like in "Office Space", I'm going to take it out back and beat it to death with an aluminum baseball bat. I will crush this plastic piece of crap into a million pieces and then laugh and laugh and laugh as I grind them into the mud with my boot.
Then I will take the ridiculously expensive printer cartridges, heave them into the air, and whack them so hard with my bat that they will explode into unrecognizable bits. Again, I will laugh manically as I use the end of the bat to break up any pieces that are larger than a silver dollar and grind them into the soil.
When I am done, I will look upon the broken corpse with no pity whatsoever. I will feel nothing but satisfaction and the joy of a vanquished opponent.
<ahem>I feel a little better now. Thank you.
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