Disgruntled Bible School Student, 9, Tries To Burn Down Church

[matcom]

<snip>

A disgruntled bible school student is accused of attempting to burn down his Franklin Street church Sunday.

Marietta Police said a 9-year-old student who had been asked to leave the Open Door Baptist Church, 301 Franklin St., returned to the church Sunday afternoon with a five-gallon can of gasoline.

"He poured a ring of gasoline around the church," Capt. Jeff Waite said. "It appears he was planning to burn the church down."
Waite said someone at the church saw the boy with the gas can and notified authorities. The gasoline had not been ignited.

The incident remains under investigation.

http://www.mariettatimes.com/news/story/0830202004_new09chruchtt.asp

[Cush]

1. He needs to find Jesus

Um, wait, nevermind. Already tried that, didn't work, did it?

[Dookus]

2. See?

Who says disgruntlement is only for the elderly! The sooner you get in touch with your inner misanthrope, the more time you have for fun shenanigans like this.

[Reverend_Smitty]

3. Holy shit...

pardon the pun...but that kid needs some serious counseling!

[LiberalVoice]

4. Finally someone with brains...

Ok, stop right there. I'm kidding....sort of. :P

[Mr. Blonde]

5. George Carlin must be laughing his ass off.

He has been waiting for violence in church, and now he has it. This is a disgruntled worship.

[Reverend_Smitty]

6. I wouldn't be surprised if...

this kid was abused by someone at this church, whether it be mentally or physically. Generally 9 year olds aren't arsons without a good reason.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

8. Or maybe he was pissed because

someone told him his deceased pet wouldn't go to heaven.

I was appalled when a Baptist acquaintance of mine told this to her grieving daughter.

[AntiCoup2K4]

9. Or maybe he was just listening to his parents' old Elton John albums?

Burn Down The Mission

Music by Elton John
Lyrics by Bernie Taupin
Available on the album Tumbleweed Connection


You tell me there's an angel in your tree
Did he say he'd come to call on me
For things are getting desperate in our home
Living in the parish of the restless folks I know

Everybody now bring your family down to the riverside
Look to the east to see where the fat stock hide
Behind four walls of stone the rich man sleeps
It's time we put the flame torch to their keep

Burn down the mission
If we're gonna stay alive
Watch the black smoke fly to heaven
See the red flame light the sky

Burn down the mission
Burn it down to stay alive
It's our only chance of living
Take all you need to live inside

Deep in the woods the squirrels are out today
My wife cried when they came to take me away
But what more could I do just to keep her warm
Than burn burn burn burn down the mission walls



© 1970 Dick James Music Limited

[smirkymonkey]

7. So, like, what's the problem?

*kidding*

But, seriously there may have been a damn good reason for him wanting to burn down the church, not that he should actually do it.

I think that the more oppressive and anti-human nature the Baptist Church becomes, the more you will see it's adherents acting out in anti-social ways.

[Endangered Specie]

10. Darn, so close, yet so far.

(j/k) :spank: