Baby's Named a Bad, Bad Thing

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

In honor of the new female SmallMcTeenyTiny:

http://www.notwithoutmyhandbag.com/babynames/

Even if you don't have kids, that stuff will have you rolling. The lady is hilarious---she takes actual quotes off of baby name message boards and tears them up.

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

1. Oh no

this is too funny to let it drop off the page.

[Sequoia]

2. My stomach hurts from laughing, my massacra runs

and thank goodness I don't have an inverview, I'm a wreck from laughing so hard. Thanks.

[politicat]

3. I love her take...

being child-free, but with two sisters with a child a piece, I've heard all the name chatter.

Some have been crazy....

I'm still wondering what my sister was thinking - Darien.... We call him D. C.

Pcat

[flamingyouth]

4. An acquaintance named her daughter Sophia Loren

I said, "Oh, wow, I love her."

And completely without irony, she said, "Who?"

Me: "The actress."

Her: "Never heard of her."

:shrug:

[DemBones DemBones]

5. Much of it doesn't even need her commentary.

"We have a four year-old and now I am pregnant, from a boy."

:shrug:

True story: a friend of mine had a student with an unusual first name: Beneatha Jones (last name changed.) First PTA meeting/ Open House rolls around and Beneatha's mother shows up to chat. At one point, she asks my friend, "Would you like to know why I named my daughter Beneatha? It was because that's how she was conceived: Beneatha Jones."

We had a lot of fun imagining the names of Beneatha's siblings, starting with Ontoppa and Besida.

[EstimatedProphet]

6. My god these are funny!

Blayre Michelle
Scarlette Brooke

Blayre, rhymes with Larry. Scarlette: a small Scarl.

[eyesroll]

7. When I attended Beloit College, there was a Marijuana Pepsi

in the school system.

I thought she was made up.

Nope.

[name not needed]

8. A few names that would be better than those names

Hitler Skye
Lucifer Dakota
Starlight McBrain

[DemBones DemBones]

9. OMG! LOL!

How about Lou? When I was in England, I heard that name and it seemed to have a little tinkle to it. Randy is good too.

(You weren't listening QUITE hard enough in England, were you? )

[Kellanved]

10. great site

thanks!

<geek>
But they should know how to spell "Tolkien"
</geek>

:D

[Pithlet]

11. I'm so glad that part of the site is still there.

I remember the ruckus it caused back in my days participating on a parenting message board. I was in the minority, but I thought it was hilarious then.

[Pied Piper]

12. When I was in school...

...I had a teacher who had grown up in the hills of Tennessee. One rural couple had named their twin daughters Siphyllis and Gonnora (pronounced "si-PHYLL-is" and "gon-NOR-a"). I shit you not.

[Lydia Leftcoast]

13. I was laughing out loud in the coffee shop!

:7

[LWolf]

14. Okay, I could have had all my paperwork done by now.

But I've been scrolling through, laughing hard enough to cause my back, recovering from a 2-week spasm, to tighten up again. :grr:

As an elementary school teacher, I see names coming and going in waves. I can check with kindergarten to see what the next few years will bring. But there is one girl's name I've yet to see duplicated.

Placentia.

Why didn't this one catch on?

:shrug:

[barackmyworld]

15. wow. just wow.

If that doesn't make you hate your parents, I don't know what will. I thought I got off lucky when my parents didn't name me Doris (after my grandma), but I would pick that in a second over mickaynzey taelore.

edit: hah! they make fun of "blaze" and I know someone named that. His last name is pretty bad too--the whole name is pronounced blazer

[barackmyworld]

18. best site ever

I have been reading it since I posted this. I can not believe I have spent 45 minutes of my life reading stupid baby names, but so incredibly worth it.

[Jokinomx]

16. I once met a mother with a small boy...who she named Pooh Bear....

How would you like to grow up with that name... I guess it would be something like a "Boy named Sue".... LOL

[BigMcLargehuge]

17. Thank you SO MUCH for this... I am beside myself with laughter

Oh man.... I bookmarked this for Mrs. McLargehuge to read tomorrow and oh how we'll laugh!

[EstimatedProphet]

19. There was one name she didn't make fun of, that was too funny

in it's own right.
Oleo.
Seriously. Someone naming their kid after margarine.

[jdj]

20. It's almost 2:00 a.m., we have company,and I am trying to be

polite and stifle my laughter, but this stuff is outrageous!

"Ilove the Lord, am a LDS woman, and would like to name my baby baby Jesus. "
Wait, she wants to call him "Baby Jesus"? How will that work after he's 33?

"My husband says this is ridiculous because we are not latino and he does not even go to church anymore. I looked and it is a popular name in the US so it must be that others like me are out there spreading His love. His full name would be "Jesus Joseph Dewey". Can any one tell me if when you are at the hospital can you refuse to let your husband have a say in what the birth certificate says? I 18 years old and am a first time mom."

Issue 1: Jesus! (Praise the Lord!) Joseph! (Hallelujah!) Dewey. (.....um.....He's a duck, right?)

Issue 2: Have you ever heard anything so romantic, and yet so filled with Our Heavenly Father's purest love alighting from heaven to his children upon the earth as an 18 year old Mormon girl wanting to have her husband barred from the hospital where she's just given birth so she can name their child Jesus. Joseph. Dewey. Amen.

[carpetbagger]

21. This deserves a kick.

I spent enough time as a family doctor in West Virginia to appreciate it.

It's even better than this link from General JC Christian about parents, with encouragement from Blair from the Facts of Life, punishing their kids with hot sauce.

http://patriotboy.blogspot.com/2004_08_01_patriotboy_archive.html#109298200968226187