As Pre-Schools BAN Diapers, Rush On Toilet Training

[matcom]

<snip>

For millions of toddlers, August is crunch time.

Preschool starts in September, and because of strict no-diaper rules at many schools, toilet training must end.

In Overland Park, Kan., Kerri Heller has until Sept. 2 to toilet-train her 3-year-old son, Jack. Ms. Heller started training in earnest earlier this month, and says she has barely left the house since.

On a Monday, she bought an egg timer and set it to ring every 30 minutes to remind Jack to use the toilet. Tuesday, her husband got a neighbor to call and impersonate Mike Sweeney, first baseman for the Kansas City Royals, and encourage Jack to keep potty training and be a "good little slugger." Wednesday, Jamie Walker, relief pitcher for the Detroit Tigers (aka Lance Harshbarger, her husband's office colleague), gave similar encouragement. Sammy Sosa (Ms. Heller's father) called Thursday.


Jack, a big baseball fan, has bobble-head dolls of two of the players sitting on the sink in the bathroom facing the toilet, as if observing his progress. "You lose all your inhibitions with this process," says Ms. Heller, who rewards Jack for good performance with M&M's and an occasional trip to Chuck E. Cheese's. "The clock is ticking and it's really stressful."

The no-diaper deadline for preschools is a big business issue for the $6.5 billion U.S. diaper industry, driving away good customers every year. It's "the biggest force at work in toilet training," says Thomas J. Falk, chief executive of Kimberly-Clark Corp. It makes Huggies, the No. 1 brand in the U.S.

http://online.wsj.com/article_email/0,,SB109355696183002357-IZjf4NjlaJ3mp2ma3yIcKyBm4,00.html

[AspenRose]

1. Hopefully they're training the little boys to put the seat back down

Start 'em EARLY on that training! :thumbsup:

[mrboba1]

5. oh God, not this again!!!

:crazy:

[Throckmorton]

19. Both of my children were toilet trained by 3,

My son was a few week shy of this third birthday, and my daughter was just over 29 months.

BTW, she is mildly autistic, but she trained easier than her brother.

[ChoralScholar]

34. I hope they're training the girls to put the seat back up

I hate having to piss on the seat.

<ducks>

I'M JUST KIDDING!!!!

[leeman67]

2. Oh gee, I thought Rush Limbaugh was discussing diapers.

:P

[physioex]

4. El Drugbo...

Rarely works now a days....Wonder what's going on?

[chiburb]

3. But can they eat peanut butter? n/t

[Pithlet]

8. lol

On a related note, I'm glad I don't face this. I'm having dificulty potty training my oldest.

[Systematic Chaos]

6. I read a statistic somewhere a while back...

It had something to do with how many trees are used up to keep one baby in disposable diapers. I don't remember exactly how many but I do know for a fact that it was trees, as in more than one. My mother used cloth diapers for me and both of my brothers and we were born between 1951 and 1969. Even though disposable diapers were pretty much mainstream by 1969 my mother saw no reason to switch when I came around.

I don't feel one shred of sympathy for the disposable diaper manufacturers, but I do feel sorry for those poor kids.

[murielm99]

13. My kids were born in 1979, 1981 and 1983.

It was hard to find cloth diapers, but we did.

I only used disposables if we had to take a trip somewhere. I did not want to carry the wet smelly things around then.

Cloth diapers are still out there, though. I think the disposables cause more diaper rash, too.

[Red_Viking]

7. Good Lord

So, this is about diaper companies' profits? And not the age at which it's appropriate to toilet-train a child?

I'm probably biased. My daughter was toilet-trained in one week right after her second birthday. Her daycare provider told me, "We can do this in one week if we work together." She laid it all out for me. I didn't leave the house much. My daughter did a great job, and at 13, still hasn't had any accidents. :P

I understand it's different for every kid. But do you really need calls from Sammy Sosa to take a pee in the toilet? If the kid is bright enough to know who all these sports figures are, surely he can remember not to do his business in his pants.

OK, fellow parents, flame away if you must. But at three, it's time to stop pooping in your pull-ups. :D

RV

[Pithlet]

10. If it were only that simple.

God, if only it were that simple... We're losing our sanity Chez Pithlet over this issue.

[trotsky]

12. We've been there (and still are), Pithlet.

Our son didn't get fully trained until age 4. His problem was that he was just too busy & engaged in his activities to listen to his body. That, and having wet pants NEVER bothered him. Big ol' wet spot, underwear & all, not a big deal for him. Arrgh!

Our daughter is now 3 and semi-trained. Still in pull-ups, but will occasionally use the potty. "Daddy, the pee-pee's coming!" she said last time. :-D

[trogdor]

29. 25 months. Cold turkey.

I feel your pain, but for most kids, this is the way to go. Put 'em in pants, and they'll get the idea inside of a week. For us, number two was more problematic. Ours would go behind doors and such, until we told him enough times that if he can go behind the door, he can go to the bathroom.

Then we had the carpets replaced. Took one for the team, they did.

[BigMcLargehuge]

9. There's a reason

One kids get to 3.5 or so they weigh upwards of 40 pounds. In an environment like a preschool where there could be as many as 25 kids, three rounds of diaper time equates to hard labor for the teachers and aids.

I know, I was one.

Plus the equipment and spaces uses for this task aren't up to the job for such heavy kids.

We had a policy in the preschool room that the kids had to be toilet trained before being moved into the preschool room from the toddler program, and that incoming kids had to be trained if they weren't in our toddler program.

Some kids take to it slowly, Ian is one of them, and we aren't trying to drill it into him, but het gets big-boy underwear this weekend so he can feel what its like to not use the potty. We'll keep up with the training pants for overnights and extended car rides, etc... but the rest of the time he'll get the big boy treatment.

[Pithlet]

11. We're doing the same thing

This weekend has been declared Big Boy Underwear weekend. I'm steeling myself for all of the messes this will entail, at least for awhile.

Good luck your way!

[tigereye]

14. my son took a while

I think he was close to 31/2 or 4. Fortunately the daycare was small, so it wasn't an issue. I think kids come to this when they are ready. It doesn't seem fair to put a lot of pressure on them. ( no pun intended)

[BigMcLargehuge]

16. let's compare notes on Monday as to how it went :)

:hi:

[SarahB]

18. Same thing going on here

I decided not to enroll my youngest (turned 3 in June) in preschool because I knew I'd be working soon and he's probably be in day care 2-3 days a week. We're in the midst of the crunch too because 1.)it's about darn time and 2.)sometimes toddler rooms in centers charge more than preschool rooms. He's doing great with the pee part (about 95% now, but still having trouble with standing up and doing it), but poop is another story. Poop is only at about 20%, so it's really, really messy around here. It'll happen though. I've been there and done already. :D

[politicat]

15. Shakes head. Historically, this is pretty strange, you know....

Up until the 30s, it was very common to have a child toilet trained as soon as s/he could walk reliably. (There were still some accidents, of course, but the majority of the time, the child was trained by 18-20 months.)

In colonial times, toilet training started at 4 months old and was complete by about 18 months.

It worries me that we're seeing 5 and 6 year olds not toilet trained (clinically normal kids; I've seen a couple in therapeutic practice and of course the Attachment Therapist types encourage this, but don't get me started on those abusers....) and the trend is letting the child go later and later before commencing training.

Pcat

[Momgonepostal]

21. The idea of toilet training a 4 month old is crazy

That's the parents being trained, not the baby.

We had a devil of a time with my youngest. In addition to not caring one iota if she was wet, she has motor delays and poor use of her hands so had a tough time pulling down everything by herself. We had her wear regular underwear at home and set the timer, etc. She wouldn't go on the toilet until she was good and ready. It was probably 9 months from the time I got serious about toilet training until she got it all together.

[BigMcLargehuge]

22. little kids don't even have any control of their sphincter and bladder

muscles until they are around 2.

[politicat]

25. See previous post.

However, assuming your right (and I'm not stating you are or are not; that's an area of physiology I have no interest in pursuing and have no need to do so) why are we waiting until two or three years after they can control their sphincters to train them to use them??

Hm? It would seem logical, like language acquisition, to work on the ability as soon as possible.

Pcat

[BigMcLargehuge]

27. it's a question of scheduling, and lifestyle mainly

toilet training, to be effective, is an all day job. There are two ways it's accomplished with relative quickness.

1. do it with a group of toddlers, like in a toddler program, and they learn by imitating their peers.

2. Do it one on one, and spend a little while every hour going to and from the toilet.

Now, keep in mind too that pooping or peeing pants generates immediate one-on-one attention and usually affection from a parents or caregiver. They are disinclined to discard that attention, AND today's parents are workers, in many cases, both of them, so it's also a time for one-on-one on the parents side. Changing time may be the only five minutes or so they have of uninterrupted mother/father baby time. They may be reluctant to let that experience go. Toilet training also means the baby is growing up, and no parents like that idea.

Look, I've been railing against "training pants" for years now. I think they prolong the process because their absorption takes away from the feeling that the kids have peed/pooped, and so they remain comfortable (albeit stinky).

As for encouraging them to use the muscles or abilities as soon as they get them, that's great for gross motor and visually/audible discernable activities, but bladder/sphincter control is invisible, and the kids can't tell you when they have control because they don't understand it.

[politicat]

24. This is the historical evidence. How it worked and how well...

that's something we need the time machine for. And damn it, all the Da Vinci code folks have it booked for the next 30 years. *grin*

Perhaps it is training the parents - and the fact that there were half a dozen women in the typical colonial household, all working (see "The Midwife's Tale" among others for descriptions of colonial life) and overseeing the smalls that were the difference (one woman to 2 children is a BAD idea in my opinion, but...)

However, waiting until 3.5 or 4 to train is an historical anomaly.

Pcat

[Pithlet]

23. Yes, parenting and attitudes toward it have changed

and potty training is one of those things. Change is sometimes for the good, and I think in this instance, this one is for the good.

I have a vivid memory of my parents holding me down on the potty chair until I got so upset I puked. My grandmother tied my mother to the training chair. I know kids are frustrating, particularly when it comes to toilet training. But I'm kind of glad that these kinds of things have gone out of vogue, to tell you the truth. And I think that is why we're seeing children potty trained at older ages.

[politicat]

26. Pithlet, I'm okay with three.

I'm NOT okay with five. Or seven. Or in one disgusting case, NINE.

There are parents out there who are not training their kids at all. There are others who are undoing the training as a form of "therapy."

And it all goes together - training late and not training and untraining are sold to parents as a "bond with your child" form of nurturing - what can be more nurturing than cleaning your kid's ass four times a day?

Though I do see it more in boys - the few girls I've had have been either clinically subnormal or have had some other physiological issue - like chronic bladder infections.

Pcat

[Pithlet]

28. In a vast majority of cases

Children who aren't potty trained by those ages usually have developmental problems. I don't think anyone is arguing that it's okay for developmentally average children to not be potty trained at those ages. And I don't think you're going to find too many normal parents that are okay and not frustrated that their 4+ child is not yet potty trained. I've never known one, personally.

And it all goes together - training late and not training and untraining are sold to parents as a "bond with your child" form of nurturing - what can be more nurturing than cleaning your kid's ass four times a day?

I think that is misrepresenting a movement. Certainly, there are extremes, but the point of later training (not until 5 which is an extreme example) is not pressuring children before they are ready, and acknowledging that most children are not ready before the age of two, and many are not before the age of three, despite popular opinion.

[Moonbeam_Starlight]

31. Ok

at anything younger than "able to walk to the potty unassisted" it is the ADULT who is trained to PUT the kid on the potty, not the KID who is trained.

My mother in law used to claim my husband was potty trained at six months. My ASS. NO six month old is potty trained. THey aren't even VERBAL or WALKING. SHE was trained to plop him on a tiny potty up to 6 times a day.

Kids train when THEY are ready. Yes, the parents can and should encourage them, but they SHOULDN'T push it.

A wise woman once told me, "you can start 'training her' the moment she turns two, or you can wait until she is truly ready and she'll be trained in a weekend."

When they're ready, they're ready. And five or six and not toilet trained IS ridiculous, but that happens so rarely as to not even be worth mentioning.

[DrWeird]

32. Where do you get this informaton?

I wonder what historical source says your typical 18th century 4 month old crawled out to use the outhouse on a regular basis.

[SOteric]

33. In the snow.

While hauling a 40 lb. rucksack.

My grandfather told me all about it.

[KurtNYC]

17. Craddle to grave

Huggies ----> Pull ups ---> Good Nites ----> Depends

A Kimberly Clark perfect world. They probably joke, "If we had a dollar for everytime an American pees we'd be.... oh wait, we do get a dollar."

[starroute]

20. My oldest finally got toilet trained by running around naked

My memories of that period are blessedly fairly vague. I remember trying to toilet train him when he was about two and having him freak out and reject the whole process. I remember that he didn't much like having his diaper changed either, so I had to chase him around the house and tackle him to get a fresh one wrapped around his little pink butt.

And as I recall, the summer he was three, I let him wander around naked outdoors a lot. I don't know whether he didn't like having the pee run down his leg, or if it was just that he was finally aware of when he was doing it, but he spontaneously started asking to use the toilet, and by the end of the summer he was fully trained.

I remember even less about #2, except that it was also fairly late. I think I told him, "If you want to go to preschool, you have to be willing to use the toilet," and he said, "Okay." There's something to be said for waiting until you can reason with your children instead of trying to train them in a mechanical fashion.

[GoddessOfGuinness]

30. My oldest took care of it himself

the day he turned 3.

After a full year of trying to get him to use the potty chair, he woke up on his birthday and said, "Ok, I'm a big boy now. I'll use the toilet."

He never used the potty chair at all...and never had an accident of any kind.

My younger boy was inspired by the promise of pre-school, though it took awhile for him to use other people's toilets. He was traumatized at an early age by an automatic flush toilet at the zoo.

[ChoralScholar]

35. Well, I peed on myself this week, and I'm 27...

it's a good thing MY SCHOOL doesn't require TEACHERS to be potty-trained. :)