Why Men are happier people

[name not needed]

Why Men Are Just Happier People!
What do you expect from such simple creatures?


Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be president.
You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
You can wear NO T-shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one
is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental -- $100.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You almost never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
You have to shave only your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24th in 45
minutes.
No wonder men are happier!


*I actually cut my nails with a swiss army knife. I use my nail clipper to pop zits.

[Fovea]

1. And we die younger too.

So we make better looking corpses!
It's a wonderful life.

[mrboba1]

4. we die younger because

we are doing our nails with the army knife!!
One little slip -- whoops!!

:P

[Throckmorton]

2. "Three pairs of shoes are more than enough"

Sure, if your a fashion plate,

One pair of shoes, one pair of other foot ware, and more than that is overkill.

[On the Road]

11. Shoes? You Have Shoes?

:smoke:

[Throckmorton]

12. Snows up here in the North Country

Plus, they are a job requirement.

I Know, Job, you have a Job?

Yes, but I have to be Homer Simpson in real life.

[JohnKleeb]

3. hah yeah

[pagerbear]

5. Hands up everyone who is seeing this list for the first time

[mrboba1]

9. me

:hi:

[samplegirl]

6. Yeah yeah but

A "woman always knows when shes gonna have sex"!!!!!!
LoL..........do u???????????????

[mrboba1]

10. do you mean with another person?

or is 'solo' included?

:evilgrin:

[samplegirl]

13. LOL

No we even know when you men are gonna have sex!!!!

[Dogmudgeon]

16. At least until you are 35 or 40

On edit: Oops, I forgot the all-important Emoticon!

:)

--bkl

[tandot]

7. Here we go:

Your last name stays put.
- some guys don't mind taking their wife's name

The garage is all yours
- depends on the woman/wife/partner

Car mechanics tell you the truth.
- they can try, but I am usually pretty good in researching my car problems before I get there. If they try to pull one on me, they've lost a customer

You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
- I can squat without sitting down

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
- my boyfriend has more problems with that than I do. I actually brought most of the tools when we moved in together.

Same work, more pay.
- that is the part that sucks most.

You know stuff about tanks.
- my boyfriend has NO clue in that regard

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
- same here

You can open all your own jars.
- same here

Lots of out-dated stuff here. I wouldn't be surprised if you get flamed... :evilgrin:


On Edit: this is a response from a female

[stlchic]

8. A female's response:

"Your last name stays put."

Women are not required to change their name when (or if) they get married

"You can be president."

I was unaware there was a “male only” clause in the Constitution about presidential requirements.

"You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt."

Neither does a woman who happens to know this piece of info.

"Same work, more pay."

This is something to brag about?

"One mood all the time."

Absolutely not true.

"Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat."

Unless they’re about sports.

"You can open all your own jars."

I’ve never had a problem opening my own jars.

"No wonder men are happier!"

Then why do they keep bitching about women?

(No, I'm not taking your post that seriously - just thought I'd chime in...)


:hi:

[Nikia]

14. I disagree with a few

Phone conversations: My husband and I both talk on the phone about the same amount of time, long for someone who we won't be seeing in person for a while and short if we will be seeing them soon.
Suit cases: My husband packs more stuff than I do. Being a child of divorce and the experience of flying home for break from college, taught me the necessity of packing efficently. My husband, a boy scout, believes: "Be prepared" so he packs everything that he could possibly need.
The shoes thing: I'm female and I don't understand some women's obsession with shoes. I grew up poor most of my childhood so we did not have extra money for that sort of thing. Even when my mother married my richer step father, she did not buy a lot of shoes. I guess that we focused on more obvious stuff. When I look at something, my field of vision is towards their face and upper body. Acoordingly, I notice shirts most on people and that item of clothing seems most important to me. I only notice shoes if they are extremely unusual in themselves or for the outfit (running shoes with a dress or suit).
Underwear: There are cheap women's underwear too. We wear white uniforms at work with dark underwear showing through so I bought a bunch of cheap Hanes Her Way white underwear in packs. I think that it was even cheaper than $8.95/per three.

[slutticus]

15. *sigh*

I would like to add one.....


"Men...we can take a joke"


How about that?

[stlchic]

17. oh, okay...

A man and a woman are driving in oppposite directions on a two lane highway. As the woman passes the man, she yells out her window, "PIG!" Well, the man isn't going to take that crap, and he yells out his window "BITCH!!"

Just as the man rounds the next bend in the road, he hits a pig.

If they would only listen...

:7

[alarimer]

19. stereotypes are not really funny

if you enjoy sexist drivel, fine. Just be aware that a lot of people don't.

[SmileyBoy]

18. The 5 things in that list that don't apply to me:

I know nothing about tanks, but my father is a whiz in that field. He was a Turkish Army tank commander in the Cyprus War.

I can talk for hours on end if I'm engrossed in the conversation. But most of my phone coversations with my parents last 15-20 minutes nightly.

I wear boxers, so I don't get 3-packs of underwear. Although I can find boxers for pretty cheap at Target or ShopKo.

Same work, more pay doesn't apply to me. I make the least amount of money at my job.

I legally modified my last name last year. I took my mother's maiden name out.

Other than that, life is good.:D

[franmarz]

20. What a dreary blob of protoplasm

You have no soul, but you are tolerable to the masses.

[SmileyBoy]

21. Like a previous poster said:

Men... We can take a joke.

[KG]

22. peeing while standing up. 'nuff said