If there were a DU Variety Show, what would your routine be?

[elperromagico]

I'd play my guitar and sing "Dead Hooker Blues." :evilgrin:

How about you?

[demnan]

1. The short retort

n/t

[Fovea]

2. I would host 'Beat the Press'

and would lay the stick to so called journalists
until they couldn't spin anymore.

[elperromagico]

3. That could definitely work.

;)

[Screaming Lord Byron]

4. I'd just stand there silent until people got really uncomfortable.

[terrya]

5. I'd do my impression of Katharine Hepburn, as Eleanor of Aquataine.

WITH the costume. :-)

But someone would have to be Peter O'Toole. I don't work alone.

[elperromagico]

16. "Say it at noon, you'll say it to my horse's arse!"

"Lamb, I'll be rid of you by Easter; you can count your reign in days!!!"

How's that? :D

[terrya]

23. "Do you wonder...I wonder... if I ever slept with your father"?

PERFECT, elperromagico! :-)

[Fovea]

43. 'We did it!'

'You were in the next room when we did it'

I played Henry in another life...

[matcom]

6. i'd striptease to the song: "Hey Big Spender"

[BigMcLargehuge]

10. you've just blinded...

my minds eye.

Thanks loads.

[matcom]

18. fine. would you prefer i demonstrate my 'acrobatic peeing skills'?

[BigMcLargehuge]

20. thankfully, your first post exterminated my ability to visualize that

[matcom]

22. i can fart to "Let The Eagles Soar" as well

its really up to you

[BigMcLargehuge]

24. Now that I'd like to hear

I bet it sounds better than John Asskrack's performance of said jingoistic paeon to fascism

[matcom]

26. oh no. you see its ACTING TOO! - my farts get jingoistic for the occasion!

otherwise they wouldn't be TRUE Thesbians!

[BigMcLargehuge]

29. Hmmmm your idea intrigues me

is there a secret technique to creating jingoistic farts?

[matcom]

30. sure is!

i tear a hole in a tiny American Flag and tape it to my butt. Then I fart THROUGH THE HOLE!

pretty ingenious eh?

[BigMcLargehuge]

33. that's not ingenious, that's brilliant!

I want to be your agent!!! I'll take 15% off the top, and we'll split your groupies 50/50.

Whadda ya say?

[matcom]

35. will you pick up new flags every show?

they tend to get a little 'soiled'

[BigMcLargehuge]

36. I'll have them flown in straight from Taiwan with a precut hole

I'll by them by the metric ton...

We're going to make millions. You should go max your credit cards right now because we're going to be drying our selves off with new 100 dollar bills!!!

[matcom]

37. they are ALREADY MAXED!!

i'm WAAAAYYYY ahead of you :bounce:

:D

[BigMcLargehuge]

39. Get more... Go finance a Porsche, buy a plane...

Believe me, this is only the beginning of an entertainment megacareer! SPEND SPEND SPEND!

[matcom]

40. YYYYAAAYYYYYY RICH!!!!!!!

:bounce:

i'm going to start a lavish Coke habbit and buy diamond-rimmed GLASSES!!!

:bounce:

[BigMcLargehuge]

41. Fuck that... hire someone to wear the glasses for you!

And let them do the coke, so you can control them like a slave...

I just ordered some ruby encrusted speedos and a cigarette boat to wear them on!

[elperromagico]

44. Will you bring the ass-slappin' hippo with you? n/t

[La Lioness Priyanka]

7. belly dancing

[liontamer]

31. me too!

[CO Liberal]

8. Copycat Threads

:-)

[Libby2]

9. I would be the yes woman

as in yes, I agree.

[ChavezSpeakstheTruth]

11. Poppin' and lockin', baby - poppin' and lockin'

[Union Thug]

12. I would host the "Radical Labor Hour of Power" show. /eom

[Ganja Ninja]

13. Knife thrower.

I need a blindfold and a volunteer from the audience.

[MallRat]

14. Kitten juggling.

Wholesome fun for the whole family.

-MR

[Beware the Beast Man]

15. Flatulent pyrotechnics!

nt

[MallRat]

21. We didn't need to know that.

:-)

[dr.strangelove]

17. I'd sit in an office banging my head against my computer screen all day

Oh wait, I do that when I'm not on TV. I guess I would guess the date people lost their virginity.

[DemWitch]

19. I would do drag as Helen Thomas or Madeline Albright

and sing "Erotica" by Madonna

[Lavender Brown]

25. I don't know

Something involving Froot Loops.

[elperromagico]

28. Mmm... Froot Loops.

:D

[VOX]

27. Play acoustic guitar & blues harp and belt out "32-20 Blues"...

One of many Robert Johnson classics.

Or, I could play my uke and croon "Sloop John B"...:)

[SarahB]

32. Jumping on a trampoline and doing flips...

Maybe I'll twirl a baton too if ya'll get really lucky. :P

[Crankie Avalon]

34. I'd just squint and smirk...

...while going through my usual litany about war, torture, and "rape rooms", and then trip over my words and be at an utter loss when I had to talk about anything else.

[eyesroll]

38. Three words:

Porn. On. Demand.

(written and read, not acted)

[ronnykmarshall]

42. Host the segment "Ask the homo".