Local Sheriff Suspects Al-Qaeda or Teens

[Rose Siding]

BARABOO, WI—Sauk County Sheriff Virgil "Butch" Steinhorst announced Tuesday that he believes a recent rash of Baraboo-area crimes was perpetrated by the al-Qaeda terrorist network or teenagers.

"In this day and age, it's important for law-enforcement officials to consider global threats as well as local ones," Steinhorst said. "We could be dealing with an al-Qaeda sleeper cell attempting to collect information that they could use to plan a terrorist strike or some of those goth kids who knocked over that mailbox. Neither group has any respect for the law."

The string of unsolved crimes includes the defacement of public property, an incident of breaking-and-entering, and a string of harassing phone calls. The latest crime—the sudden disappearance of two yield signs from Hoxie Street—occurred Monday.

"We believe the yield signs were removed in order to disrupt traffic patterns, most likely to cause an accident," Steinhorst said. "The party responsible for the crime could be anyone from suspected terrorist Ahmad Ibrahim Al-Mughassil, who is on the FBI's most-wanted list, to that Fairman kid and his buddies. It could be the work of one or the other. Possibly both, though I have to say I doubt that

http://www.theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4033&n=2

[Guy Fawkes]

1. I'm sooo glad thats from the onion!

I know some of our police (in wisconsin) are dumb, but I hope they aren't Reno-911 dumb.

[richmwill]

2. LMAO

Oh yeah, I can just see it now- Bin Laden's on his cellphone from deep in his cave calling residents of Baraboo, WI to ask them if their refrigerator is running.

On Edit- Didn't see that it was from The Onion. I honestly thought it could have been real.

[wicket]

3. OMG!!!!

I thought it was real for a second, until I saw it was from the Onion :D

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

4. Isn't it amazing what it's all come to?

The world is so buggered up that it's getting harder and harder to distinguish satire from reality...