COOL THINGS ABOUT BEING A MAN

[Sub Atomic]

1. Your butt is never a factor in a job interview.
2. Your orgasms are real. Always.
3. Your last name stays put.
4. The garage is all yours.
5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
8. You don't give a rat's arse if someone notices your new haircut.
9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
10. Same work ... more pay.
11. Wrinkles-add character.
12. You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
14. If you retain water, it's in a water bottle.
15. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
16. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
17. One mood, ALL the damn time.
18. Phone conversations are usually over in 30 seconds.
19. A five-day holiday requires only 1 small suitcase.
20. You can open all your own jars.
21. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
22. Your underwear is $9 for a three-pack.
23. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
24. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.
25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be angry with me."
27. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become friends.
28. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
29. You don't have to stop and think of "which way" to turn a nut on a bolt.
30. You are "unable" to see wrinkles in clothes.
31. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
32. Your belly usually hides your big hips.
33. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
34. You can "do" your nails by yourself. No need for painting.
35. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th in minutes.
36. The World is your urinal.

[CatWoman]

1. damn, I'm jealous!!!!!

:hi: Steve!!!

:loveya:

[Sub Atomic]

3. Hey there baby!!

How are things?

[CatWoman]

7. about to go home for the day

I can hardly wait!!!!

:D

[bigwillq]

2. Funny list

Thanks for sharing

[Yavin4]

4. 37. You think "Showgirls" Was A Great Movie

Simply because of the excessive female nudity.

[MrScorpio]

5. 38. There's no need to explain the difference

between a touchdown and a two-point conversion, even though they look the same

[VelmaD]

6. Ya know...

a lot of us girls understand football (and pretty much all sports) perfectly well thank you very much.

Any time you need me to explain the infield fly rule to ya you just ask. ;)

[MrScorpio]

10. You guys have never met my wife, have you?

After 20 years, I still have to explain the game to her

[Jo March]

12. Right on, velmad!

I'm a football fan and I know quite a bit about baseball as well. So there!

[CatWoman]

9. smartass

touchdown is a score in opponents end zone, after taking the ball down to opponents territory. score is worth 6 points.

two point conversion -- instead of kicking for one point, the team chooses to pass or run the ball in the endzone for two points.

:P

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

19. I didn't see this before posting #17. (nt)

[Mr. McD]

16. I am a male and I know very little about football

When my friends were talking about the tight ends I thought they meant the cheerleaders.:shrug:

[Commie Pinko Dirtbag]

17. HEY!

There are men outside the US too!

What's a two-point conversion? All I know is touchdown (6), field goal (3), and extra point (1).

[DS1]

8. Reading and hearing about how we're all pigs because we leave

the seat up thinking to ourselves "Who let you out the kitchen in the first place" :evilgrin:

[olddem43]

11. You know how to operate a toilet seat -

and without bitching about it.

[madmax]

13. Very Funny and so true. n/t

[flasun]

14. saw this before I think

Shower and dress and out the door in fifteen minutes

[Endangered Specie]

15. 39. You can read a map.

[jpgray]

21. And you can fold it properly when you are finished

Every girl I've known has had varying degrees of trouble with map-folding.

[name not needed]

18. I've faked an orgasm

Yeah, I grunted and pissed in my hand at the same time

:D

[Endangered Specie]

20. 40. No one can see if you have a small dick...

everyone can see if you have small boobs. Though, the opposite is true too.

[No2W2004]

22. 29. You don't have to stop and think of "which way" to turn a nut or bolt

"Lefty Loosey, Righty Tighty" -Bob Villa.

Your Welcome!

EDIT: Yep, this is the only way I can remember....

[PeaceForever]

23. Question about "6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting

laid."

Why do girls do that, anyway? You never see guys cockblock, at least not intentionally. "Hey man, I know you like that girl, but we're leaving. Let's go!"

[jpgray]

24. Er, depending on the girl and the drunkenness of the friend

I'll give some advice. But beyond that, nothing too intrusive.