Free-floating hostility: the Olympics

[scottcsmith]

You know what I hate? The Olympics. That's right, I said it. Why do we act like it's something it's not? People like to make it out to be this event that brings the people of the world together. Bullshit. No one wants to bring the world together; we want to kick the world's ass. Enough of this phony patriotism. "You have to support the American teams!" Bullshit! You know who I want to win? The two-man rugby team from Sudan.

And the athletes. All of these kids. Isn't it a little hypocritical to live in a society where we say putting a five-year-old girl in a beauty pageant is bad, but putting a 12-year-old girl in a grueling sporting event is not? These kids train 22 hours a day, go to school for ten hours, get a minute of sleep, and go back to training, all to win a medal that effectively ends their careers. Was that Mary Lou Retton at 7-11, checking my ID as I purchased a lottery ticket? And should a pre-teen girl have legs with more muscle than Arnold Schwarzenegger's neck?

You know what's going to happen? In 100 years, we'll have pre-natal events. Like the fetus abdominal-wall climb.

At least, if our athletes are going to win gold medals, they should work the crowd. Don't be humble. "Yeah, well Canada, you can kiss my ass, you bronze-winning bastards!" That would be entertaining. Or lock up the losing team and don't feed them for two days. Oh wait, sorry, I'm thinking of Abu Ghraib.

And if we're going to have the Olympics in Athens, how about recreating events from those early days of the games? Put a guy in a coliseum with a dagger and 12 hungry lions and see what happens. That would be must-see TV.

And does every event qualify as an Olympic sport? What's next, the Dungeon and Dragons-athon? Winning GM gets a gold 20-sided die? Is flapjack tossing really a sport? Maybe it is, I think the guy who cooked my breakfast at IHOP was part of the "miracle" hockey team of the 1980 Olympics.

[bahrbearian]

1. Thats Funny.

[aquart]

2. Feel better now?

[porkrind]

3. Olympics = $$$$$$

Yawn. More fake commercialized bull$hit for T.V.

[salinen]

4. Don't you care

about "Wheeties" boxes? Olympics = war foreplay

[CanuckAmok]

5. Very articulate and entertaining, but...

...this Coliseum you speak of is in ROME. But that's okay...it's not your fault your country took all your education dollars and spent them on Michael Jordan's Olympic uniform design. ;)

[Swede]

6. I love the Olympics.

If you don't,watch Spike or TBS.

[TowelBoy]

7. I disagree completely

I love the Olympics, it's the only time I'll let myself cheer for America just because it's America. It's a break from the politics (unless you want to prove a point against Israel, idiots...) and the unfairness and the assholes in power and the stupid politicians, and I don't care if it's exploited by commercials and companies, I just love the look on those athletes faces as they ACCOMPLISH something. They go back to mankind's most basic instict of success, of conquering, of victory over your opponent in a way where nobody has to die, nobody has to suffer, and it gives me hope that we can still be humans without having to be animals.

But then again I just love the Olympics, so call me nuts!

[Zomby Woof]

9. The war is sport - total war!

Sport is war!

[Zomby Woof]

8. NO SEX THREADS!

Because, like, that was so good and truthful it made me come.