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I have severe dentist phobia caused by many years of novacaine numbing just not working for me. I too have experienced the mind-killing pain of the tech cleaing my teeth and hitting a 'sensitive' spot and can relate to your pain.
I finally found a dentist that would give me nitrous while cleaning my teeth and it has saved my teeth. The thing about nitrous is that you just don't care if it hurts! (It's not called laughing gas for nothing.) Also, somehow, nitrous alters your sense of time so it doesn't seem like you have been in the chair an eternity waiting for the whole unpleasant process to be over. (It's very hard to explain.)
The problem is that many dentists/techs do not like to use nitrous so you have to call around. Ask if they use nitrous and if you can have it for things like teeth cleaning. If they answer yes to both questions, you have found the dentist for you. (And if you can find one that doesn't make you feel like a freak for asking for nitrous for cleanings, you have found a winner!)
I have had crowns put on with and without. Without was an excrutiating process of pain and fear. Of not knowing when the dentist was going to hit the one undeadened nerve that would make me rise up out of the chair. With nitrous was an entirely different process mostly because it eliminates the DREAD/FEAR of the whole procedure. (You still won't like it, but you won't dread it to the tips of your toes. You know the feeling.)
Your tech is correct. Some people have screwed up nerves in their teeth and the shots just don't work. (Unfortunately, a lot of dentists will treat you like the pain is all in your head and to toughen up. This is what led to my dental phobia.)
But if you get the shots plus nitrous, you will be able to face going to the dentist again. I'm not saying it will be something you will look forward to cause that's not going to happen, but you will be able to go. (As opposed to not going at all, which is what I did for many years.)
One more word of advise. Some dentists will try to charge you extra for nitrous. Try to avoid these as the charges can add up. You can find dentists that do not charge extra and that consider it as part of the procedure charge.
If you lived in Kansas City, I could give you a name.
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