Almost got in a fight, almost went to jail tonight...

[Robb]

Wow. So a little glass of wine for me now at the end of a delightful evening... :eyes:

Some of you might remember my dear friend who's in the middle of a particularly nasty divorce -- several years of abuse wound up in a fight where she went to jail, since she didn't have a mark on her.

At any rate, there's an existing restraining order at the moment between the pair, and a 16 year old daughter (hers from a previous fellow) to add to the mix. When last we left our heroes, she had been over at my house in the afternoon watching Fear Factor when he saw her car and decided to stop in, daughter in tow (she seems to have sided with him in everything) to delivery a little profanity to my friend on my front porch, having come to his own sordid conclusions about my relationship with her.

That ended without incident, other than the violation of the restraining order that I told her to report, and it looks like she didn't.

Fast forward to tonight, about a week later. Seven of us crammed into a car for a night out and about, up to another friend's house in the hills -- long windy road in the woods, pretty out of the way. We pull up to the house, beer in hand, ready for a lovely evening.

Ten minutes later, the ex pulls into the driveway, right next to my friend's car. No way he didn't see it was there. This time he's got the daughter and one of the daughter's friends with him. Plops down, opens a beer, and starts watching television with a surly look.

Sooo... I grab my friend and one of her girlfriends and we leave. My friend is shaking, begs to be taken back down to town to the nearest bar, and I oblige. The three of us have a cocktail (I opt for soda), calm down somewhat. Homeward, suggests Robb.

BUT... in addition to people who don't have a ride back down, who I was fully prepared under the circumstances to abandon up there (they'd understand, I'm sure), my friend's puppy was still at the house in the hills. So after a quick phone call confirms the ex is still at the house, I suggest we grab a cop to come up with us. No, insists my friend, I don't want to do that to the couple that own the house.

So we drive up with the plan, send in my friend's girlfriend for the puppy and whoever wants a ride, and get off the hill quickly.

All of which went off well until the ex decided to come out and visit with us. By this point I was driving, being the only one not freaking out, to say nothing of my singular sobriety. So as I sit in the car, windows almost all the way up and doors locked, down trots the ex with the daughter right behind him.

"Hey!" he offers, surly look.

I nod.

"What's going on?" he says, sidling up to the car. Meanwhile the straggling friends are making their way into the car, moving (to my estimation) very slowly. I was ready to leave.

"I'm the sober guy," I say, staring at him as evenly as I can.

"Yeah," he says, "you look pretty sober."

At which point he rears back and punches my window.

It didn't break (he's punched out a window when she was in the driver's seat before), and I'm more than a little proud to say I didn't flinch at all. I don't think I even blinked. But it goes without saying I was moments from having to get out of the car, which doubtless would've meant jail time for someone, definitely my friend and probably me.

But the daughter puts herself between him and the car, pushing him back to his truck as finally the rest of my little crew gets in and close their doors.

Aaaaand I drive us off.

My friend demands a little more bar time, I oblige, let her get good and drunk, drive her home, get her inside onto her bed, lock her doors and check the house to make sure it's good and tight, take her car back to my neighborhood, park it down the block, and walk home.

Which brings us up to the point where I'm having wine and typing this out as I plan what I should do next. I don't like being threatened, and I definitely don't like being put in a situation where I'd have to get in a fight with some guy. My feeling is it's time for me to bring in law enforcement from my direction on this fellow -- my relationship with the town Marshall is rock-solid, and I know he'll advise me well. But I thought heck, it's a good story, maybe someone here has a little advice.

Back to my wine, thanks for reading. :)

[CanuckAmok]

1. Jeez, you should stay here...

...we never fight, here in the DU Lounge.

[Robb]

3. No kidding.

I should know better than to leave the Lounge.

Never get out of the boat. Absolutely goddamn right. :)

[JohnKleeb]

5. you got a fine point there

The lounge is love, science and history nerds friendly, oh its paradise heh.

[WindRavenX]

2. wow

I would call the cops tomorrow..that fellow sounds like nothing but bad news...

[DulceDecorum]

4. It is tomorrow already

and the cops have a non-emergency number.

[Robb]

7. Well, she's safe home in bed

...I'm not long for this day either. I don't think Mr. Personality is going to be causing any more trouble tonight, and I know I can get the Marshall in the morning. You know, the real morning where there's sunlight and stuff. ;)

[Nlighten1]

12. Yep.

This guy is a very loose cannon. Be careful.

[Droopy]

6. Well, Robb, Do what you can

to keep from fighting with this guy. But if it comes to that do whatever you can to defend yourself. I don't know if the police can do anything for you at this point. The best you can do is to tell them that you have been threatened by him.

[Robb]

10. Hopefully the RO violation will add to the fun as well...

Between that and the threatening act towards me the guy should at least get a visit, and I'll get my house on the beat cop's route... the Marshall and I have been pretty tight since I started working for the newspaper... if I get somewhere first, I give him my photos, and vice versa. Small-town stuff.

I don't like fighting, but yeah, I hear you. The trouble is I don't do anything halfway, hence the jail time for Robb comment. And if I'm in the pokey, who'll write the story? :P

[Fridays Child]

8. What's up with the daughter who sided against her?

On the face of it, that's a strange turn of events, don't you think?

[Robb]

11. Yes and no...

She's 16, he's letting her do whatever she wants. Until these guys got married four years ago, my friend raised her pretty much alone (pregnant pretty young) and was reasonable but strict about stuff like booze, boys, 'n smokes. But this guy lets her do whatever, parties at the house etc. No boundaries kinda guy, and until the daughter wises up a little, it's gotta seem like paradise.

[Blue-Jay]

9. Robb, I'm quite the pacifist, however

This guy needs a beat-down.

Seriously. If he approaches you in a threatening manner again, pound his dick into the dirt. I'm not one who enjoys violence, nor do I frequently advocate it. I've read your previous posts on the matter, and I've come to the conclusion that he needs an old-fashioned ass-kicking.

[Nlighten1]

13. I agree.

But my experience with people like this is the ass-kicking doesn't help. This guy needs professional and medical help.


/not a pacifist at all

[MercutioATC]

14. Just watch yourself...

I appreciate the desire to handle things the way your friend wants them handled, but she's not helping herself (and putting you in awkward situations) by refusing to work according to the rules.

She obviously should have filed a report on the restraining order violation. If this guy is the type to punch things, you should have had a cop with you when the puppy was picked up. By not doing these things she:

1) continues to create dangerous situations and,

2) fails to record this guy's repeated violations of court orders.

Again, I understand wanting to let her call the shots, but this is not a healthy situation and she's not helping herself any by handling things this way.

Just be careful.

[Robb]

15. Thanks man

Nice to hear from someone else at least I was thinking the right way. :hi: