The "lost post" thread?

[trof]

This got buried and I really liked it.
What brilliant/funny reply have you made that got wasted and nobody saw?
Lay it in here.

In response to Matcom's "I want a monkey":

When I was a pirate, I couldn't decide.

Monkey?
Or parrot?

I borrowed Ed Teach's monkey. He was known as "Blackbeard", but it was really more of a brunette with auburn highlights. Ed, not the monkey. Anyway, he (Ed, not the monkey) lent me Coco for a voyage. See how we did. Little bastard would crap in my grog and then drink it. Well, he might as well. I sure as hell wouldn't drink it after he'd crapped in it. BTW, we didn't do jack-shit as far as booty went, either. I think the damned monkey just spread bad karma all over the place.

Next trip I borrowed Silver's parrot. He could talk a blue streak, but he also damn near took my ear off. Pissant. Had mites too, which got into MY beard and damned if the trollops in Trinidad would even give me a second look as soon as they found that out. Miserable damned bird. Booty was better on that voyage, a little, but nothing to write home about.

Screw monkeys and birds. Finally settled on a Jack Russell Terrier. Damned clean little dog, and absolutely fearless. We boarded a French merchantman one night and Jaquie damn near took that captain's gonads off. What a dog.

My advice, stick with canines.
Capt. trof

[trof]

1. HEY! I thought this was an excellent flight of fancy.

Maybe your pilot's license isn't fancy enough?
;-)

[bubblesby2002]

2. Hey I liked it too