Part 1 of a series: Write my Goofy Newspaper Thing for me...

[Robb]

...So one of the duties I've inherited at the fun little small-town newspaper I now work for is the question of the week; basically, we take pictures of five random people in the park, ask them a question, and print their answer. This is, of course, page 5 filler. :P

Questions in the past have been such hard-hitting fare as "What are you doing to conserve water?" and "What's your favorite thing about spring?" Of course, I've had my own sardonic suggestions, but I suspect DU could top either of mine ("What's your problem?!?" and "Do you think you are more stupid, or ugly?").

Got a question of the week? :D

[Mortos]

1. If you had to choose

would you be eaten by a shark or pecked to death by ravenous chickens?

(Hey there is a chicken theme going tonight)

[ajacobson]

2. Boxers or briefs?

But only ask the ladies.

[havocmom]

3. If a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half

how long does it take bush* to learn to ride a bicycle?

[Nevernose]

4. My ex-wife ansered this question once

The LV Sun runs this every frigging day.

My ex-wife responded to the question of "Following the recent spate of dog attacks on small children, how do you feel about pit bulls? Are you more inclined or less inclined to own a pit bull?"

Answer: "I like dogs. I once owned a shih tzu. I once owned a cat, too, but it got hit by a car." This valuable opinion on current affairs was published in the newspaper.

Just steal a couple of pictures of Marilyn Manson or Jerry Garcia or whoever, and make up your own answers. Hell, make up your own questions.

[Robb]

5. Make up questions AND answers?

...Do I dare dream of a desk job at the Washington Times?!? :D

[Deja Q]

6. If a woodchuck could chuck wood, how much wood would he chuck before

he upchucked? :puke: :evilgrin:

[trof]

7. "Do you take your lunch to work/school, or

in a bag?"
Never fails to elicit riveting and far ranging answers.

[Robb]

8. Ha!

That's about my favorite kind of humor... "What's the difference between a duck?" :silly:

[GOPisEvil]

9. One train leaves Chicago at 4:30PM, going 60mph, heading west.

Another train, heading east, leaves Los Angeles at 2:45AM, going 50mph.

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

[kodi]

10. toilet paper roll: over or under.

it defines who you are.