http://www.axis-of-aevil.net/archives/2004/07/of_shoes_and_me.htmlAlabama: Wonder Full ¡Å Wonderful? Alabama? "Yes, we have indoor plumbing."
Alaska: Beyond Your Dreams, Within Your Reach ¡Å "Screwing the environment for your SUV"
Arizona: The Grand Canyon State ¡Å "Land of Cheap Smokes and Indian Reservations" Monument Valley is really a lot more stunning than the Grand Canyon.
Arkansas: The Natural State ¡Å Natural? Natural what? "If you can read this, you don't live here."
California: Find Yourself Here ¡Å ...because everyone here is as lost as you are. "California, the fruit and nut state!" or "Our women have more plastic than your car!".
Colorado: (none) ¡Å Colorado, home of the Coalition for the American Family and anti-gay everything. "If you don't ski, don't bother."
Connecticut: Full of Surprises ¡Å Boy, howdy, who wrote that nonsense? "Connecticut, Stepford wives and suburban stupor!" or "Massachussets is thattaway!"
Delaware: It's Good Being First ¡Å The state best known for it's very 'generous' tax structure, S-Corporations and cheap booze/outlet malls that people from adjoining states flock to. I guess they couldn't just say, "Hey! We're small, cheap and available!".
Florida: (none) ¡Å "Ask us about our grandchildren!" or "Watch out for that sinkhole!"
Georgia: Georgia on My Mind ¡Å We banned rum and slaves but not lawyers!
Hawaii: Aloha ¡Å BORING. "Islands of flaming hot magma!"
Idaho: Potatoes. Tasty Destinations. ¡Å Why not just get sponsored by Ore-Ida Corp and go with "When it says Ore-Ida, it's alll-righta."? or, even better, "Land of Tater Tots!".
Illinois: Right Here. Right Now. ¡Å Yeah, it's there alright. What happened to "Land of Lincoln"? "Illinois! Please remember the S is silent!"
Iowa: Come Be Our Guest ¡Å "Iowa! Be our guest as you surely won't stay!"
Indiana: Enjoy Indiana ¡Å It used to be "Wander Indiana" which had TV spots with an empty car toodling around the state which gave you the
impression that the state put you to sleep. "Indiana! Enjoy our dullness!"
Kansas: Simply Wonderful ¡Å "Kansas! Drive faster, daddy! Faster!" The only thing more boring than driving across Kansas is driving across Wyoming.
Kentucky: It's That Friendly ¡Å "Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names"
Louisiana: Come as You Are. Leave Different. ¡Å "It's not new and it doesn't lean!"
Maine: It Must Be Maine ¡Å "Every visitor gets a free L.L. Bean Boat Tote!"
Maryland: (none) ¡Å "Crab cakes and crabs."
Massachusetts: Make It Yours ¡Å "Taxachusetts! Our Taxes Are Lower Than Finland's (For Most Tax Brackets)"
Michigan: Great Lakes. Great Times. ¡Å "First Line Of Defense From The Canadians" or "All your crap cars are belong to us!"
Minnesota: Explore Minnesota ¡Å "And don't forget the bug spray!" or "10,000 Lakes and 10,000,000,000,000 mosquitoes"
Mississippi: Feels Like Coming Home ¡Å "Come Visit And Feel Better About Where You Live"
Missouri: Where the Rivers Run ¡Å "Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work" or "We're sorry about Ashcroft!"
Montana: Travel Montana ¡Å "Home of the Unabomber and christian militias"
Nebraska: Possibilities...Endless ¡Å "Ask About Our State Motto Contest..."
Nevada: Wide Open ¡Å Gotta wonder what the guy who made that one up was looking at. "Home of the mushroom cloud!"
New Hampshire: Make Up for Lost Time ¡Å "Go Away"
New Jersey: The Perfect Getaway ¡Å What a perfect motto for a state filled with gangsters! "Hey, Guy! Whatchoolookinat?"
New Mexico: Land of Enchantment ¡Å "Atomic bombs and Aliens! Coincidence? We think not!"
New York: I ¢¾ NY (I Love New York) ¡Å "Give us your wallet!"
North Carolina: A Better Place to Be ¡Å "Come smokem peace pipe!"
North Dakota: Legendary ¡Å "We still have at least 50 residents!"
Ohio: So Much to Discover ¡Å "Ohio! The state next to Indiana!"
Oklahoma: Native America ¡Å "Just like the musical only without the singing!"
Oregon: We Love Dreamers ¡Å "We hate Californians!"
Pennsylvania: The State of Independence ¡Å "Cook With Coal!"
Rhode Island: (various) ¡Å "We aren't really an island!"
South Carolina: Smiling Faces. Beautiful Places. ¡Å "We didn't surrender to those Damn Yankees!"
South Dakota: Great Faces. Great Places. ¡Å "250 miles to the nearest rest stop!"
Tennessee: (none) ¡Å "The edumacation state!"
Texas: It's Like a Whole Other Country ¡Å It sure is y'all. We all wish it were another country, too. "Si! Hablo Ingles!"
Utah: (none) ¡Å "We're on a mission from god" or "Dry in every way imaginable"
Vermont: (none) ¡Å "Come peep and leave"
Virginia: Virginia is for Lovers ¡Å "We have ponies"
Washington: (none) ¡Å "Home of Apples and Microsoft"
West Virginia: Wild and Wonderful ¡Å "Kissin' Cousins!"
Wisconsin: Stay Just a Little Bit Longer ¡Å "Come cut some cheese!"
Wyoming: (none) ¡Å "Why are you here?"
28 July 2004, Helsinki
http://www.axis-of-aevil.net/archives/2004/07/of_shoes_and_me.html