My wife is out of town, and I can't find the food...
Bat Boy
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Fri Jul-30-04 10:33 PM
Original message
My wife is out of town, and I can't find the food...
Or the remote... I found cans with pictures of food on the outside, but I can't figure out how to get into them. I'm going to die. I know it...
Carni
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Fri Jul-30-04 10:34 PM
Response to Original message
microwave popcorn in the house?
nothingshocksmeanymore
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Fri Jul-30-04 10:34 PM
Response to Original message
2. Oh lord, you are fucked!
Edited on Fri Jul-30-04 10:34 PM by nothingshocksmeanymo
Call the pizza guy (thank god it's Chicago at least it's not crap) and turn on the stereo! Don't be skeered :scared:
Bat Boy
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Fri Jul-30-04 10:39 PM
Response to Reply #2
7. Where's the damn phone!
Good idea, but where's the damn phone? Sue could find it. Her uterus can find things...
Zomby Woof
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Fri Jul-30-04 10:43 PM
Response to Reply #7
THAT is where the remote is. The fridge is where you left the keys.
Bat Boy
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Fri Jul-30-04 10:45 PM
Response to Reply #10
Now, the fridge... What is that again?
nothingshocksmeanymore
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Fri Jul-30-04 10:47 PM
Response to Reply #7
it works when the uterus is off the cock, I mean clock
Zomby Woof
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Fri Jul-30-04 10:49 PM
Response to Reply #12
14. one thing about your answers
You don't pussy-foot around! :o
nothingshocksmeanymore
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Fri Jul-30-04 10:52 PM
Response to Reply #14
Bat Boy
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Fri Jul-30-04 10:53 PM
Response to Reply #16
That would make him a dick tater.
Zomby Woof
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Fri Jul-30-04 10:55 PM
Response to Reply #18
19. better than the child of one!
CanuckAmok
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Fri Jul-30-04 10:35 PM
Response to Original message
3. If you can find the remote...
...you use it to pound on the food cylinders until the food comes out.
Dookus
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Fri Jul-30-04 10:36 PM
Response to Original message
Edited on Fri Jul-30-04 10:36 PM by Dookus
in the oven, set it to 450 degrees and wait til you hear the "boom". That means the food's ready.
Bat Boy
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Fri Jul-30-04 11:03 PM
Response to Reply #4
21. I'm not allowed to touch the "fire thing."
I tried once and the dog barely survived. Hey, he was wet. I wanted to dry him off.
GOPisEvil
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Fri Jul-30-04 10:37 PM
Response to Original message
5. She didn't leave individually packaged and labeled meals in the fridge?
And you married her?! Sigh...
liberalmuse
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Fri Jul-30-04 10:37 PM
Response to Original message
6. There's only one thing you can do...
...go into the back yard and dig up some grubs. They may not be as tasty as the stuff in the cans, but you will live.
Bat Boy
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Fri Jul-30-04 10:40 PM
Response to Reply #6
8. She'll be back on Sunday...
Hopefully I won't have gone feral.
nothingshocksmeanymore
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Fri Jul-30-04 10:48 PM
Response to Reply #8
13. You looked pretty feral in the tubby pic
Bat Boy
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Fri Jul-30-04 10:50 PM
Response to Reply #13
15. Yeah, but she socialized me since then.
Hate to see all of her hard work go down the drain. She left two hours ago and I've already revived some pretty nasty habits.
nothingshocksmeanymore
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Fri Jul-30-04 10:53 PM
Response to Reply #15
17. OK just don't eat your shit..trust me..it doesn't taste good
even if it does look like a great big tootsie roll.
Bat Boy
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Fri Jul-30-04 10:55 PM
Response to Reply #17
20. You could have told me that sooner...
I've spent the past few minutes rinsing my mouth out in the toilet, trying to get that taste out of there. Hasn't worked so good. If Sue was here she'd know what to do. She knows how to make water come out of those silver things attached to the sinks...
nothingshocksmeanymore
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Fri Jul-30-04 11:04 PM
Response to Reply #20
22. I would have but for some reason
your breath was really bad, man...did she hide the mouthwash too?
Zomby Woof
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Fri Jul-30-04 10:42 PM
Response to Original message
9. the remote is in the fridge
Behind the tupperware container of asparagus.
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